What would you do? — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

What would you do?

Lost my first pregnancy and DH and I are eager to try again when we are cleared.  I am suppose to be in a wedding in the middle of May of next year.  I've known this girl for 25 years so it's going to be an important day.  DH and I are eager to try again and if all goes well I will either be due or very pregnant during that date.  I would say we should hold off until the start of the new year, but I'm scared that it will happen again and that will just push us back even further.  I don't mind being in a wedding pregnant, but it might be a challenge to get a dress.  

Of course, there are so many IF's but I'm torn with what to do.  This girl means a lot to me and I don't want to make her upset either! 

 
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Re: What would you do?

  • Personally I would just keep planning your life don't put anything on hold for the what if.

    With my second son I did the planning and it actually didn't work out like I had "planned". I got pregnant with him at a different time. It was perfect timing when it was all said and done though. JMO
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  • image Beth&Derek:

    You never know what can happen. It could take a while for you to get pregnant again. You could get pregnant right away and the baby could be born early. You never know. If I had gotten pregnant when I first started trying, I'd have an almost 3 month old baby. That clearly hasn't worked out, so I don't take those things into consideration.

     

    Very much agree and that is why it's so hard to make a decision.   

     
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  • I would keep trying. I'm sure your friend will understand how important this is to you and give you her blessing.
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  • You are so sweet to be thinking of your friend and doing everything you can to be there for her big day :).  However, if it were me, I'd still want to go for BFP#2  as soon as we got the green light.  I think that such a close friend like that, and you, will do anything for each other to make sure you can both be there to partake in the celebration of each other's life changes. 
    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
  • From someone who has been on this road 3 times... Try.... IF you do you will work something out.... And if she is that good of a friend she will be happy for you. 

     

    BFP #1 April 28, 2009 - miscarriage 5/17/2009
    BFP #2 March 21, 2010 CP 3/28/2010
    BFP # 3 August 1, 2010 baby boy April 7, 2011
    BFP #4 February 9, 2013 missed miscarriage @ 15 weeks on May 1st , 2013.
    fingers crossed BFP #5 10/03/2013 due June 10, 2014. Unplanned C-Section on May 29, 2014. Welcome Grant!
  • I would definitely starting trying asap because you never know how long it could take and clearly it's important to you and dh. When you get that bfp you can pan out the rest of the details. She's a good friend so you guys will figure everything out. : Good luck!
  • spfclrspfclr
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Photogenic
    member

    In my opinion since having a baby is not as easy as most of us thought it was before we started trying I agree with not planning your potential pregnancy around something like a best friend's wedding, despite how important it is.

    If the pregnancy does end up interfering at all with the wedding or wedding related events I would just explain to her why you couldn't plan it around her.  If she hasn't been through it herself or have close family members or friends who have had any issues with getting and/or staying pregnant she most likely wouldn't understand without an explanation.

    Good luck! 

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    TTC #2 since April 2012

    Year 1 - nothing

    Year 2 - two m/c

    Year 3 - unexplained diagnosis & 4 failed IUIs with Clomid/Letrozole

    Year 4 - still unexplained & 3 failed IUIs with Follistim & Ovidral

    Year 5 - trying on our own

  • BRBR
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    I agree with everyone else. Going through infertility and then a miscarriage has taught me that life is unpredictable and can change when you least expect it. If you want to keep trying, I would keep trying. Nothing would stand in my way. Good luck with your decision.
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  • Thanks everyone - it's nice to hear other's views.  She is a little bit of a bridezilla and she already made some comments about how she expects everyone to be there and other things as well.  I am going to go on with my life as planned and if it interferes, it interferes.  If she doesn't understand then I don't really need her around anyway!
     
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  • image Kinipela7:
    Thanks everyone - it's nice to hear other's views.  She is a little bit of a bridezilla and she already made some comments about how she expects everyone to be there and other things as well.  I am going to go on with my life as planned and if it interferes, it interferes.  If she doesn't understand then I don't really need her around anyway!

    Yes

    Began trying for a baby January 2012
    BFP 4.25.2013  EDD 1.3.2014  MMC 6.3.2013  D&C 6.19.2013
    BFP 11.3.2013  CP 11.6.2013
    BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014 
  • image Kinipela7:
    I am going to go on with my life as planned and if it interferes, it interferes. nbsp;If she doesn't understand then I don't really need her around anyway!


    EXACTLY!! :
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