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November 2012 Moms
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DH vent

lyndsihutsonlyndsihutson member
in November 2012 Moms
Sorry for any grammatical errors I'm mad and mobile bumping.. Dangerous I know.

So lately DH has been really getting under my skin. Let me say that I'm yet to go out for me time or girl time and he always says he will make a night for me to then doesn't. Well he was going out 23 nights a week to the local bar. We started going down hill fast after that and he stopped going. Things were going pretty smooth for us and now for the past 3 weeks he's back at it. 3 times in the past week. One night he came home drunk at 3 am. When I ask him to watch dd he says no that its my responsibility. Idk what to do I am SERIOUSLY building up a lot of anger towards him. Everything he does pisses me off!! He told me tonight he'd come home around 630 and spend a nice night with me and e, well he just got home at 11, drunk. And ate all kinds of food then went straight to bed. Didn't even kiss e goodnight or help with the dogs night walk. He says I'm controlling for being upset. I'm livid and disgusted and idk what to do but cry.

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Re: DH vent

  • ssmb_clarinetssmb_clarinet member
    One word...counseling. He obviously has some issues that need to be worked through and you need a mediator to help you get through to him. Wishing you the best.
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  • BabyMakes 3BabyMakes 3 member
    First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this. Sounds like DH needs some help IMO. You need to talk to him very seriously. He's disengaged. His behavior is bad for him, you, your marriage, and LO. Talk to him and if that's not enough, which it may not be, maybe seek counseling. You're going to resent him and this is no way to have a marriage.
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  • CurlyQ284CurlyQ284 member
    He sounds like he has a drinking problem. If he doesn't agree to counseling or AA, I would leave. I'm sorry to say that but my dad was an alcoholic and liver failure was the only thing that made him quit. He had a transplant in October and is still recovering but he has put us all through so much. Its not worth it. I'm sorry.
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  • jg1011jg1011 member

    I have to agree with PP, sounds like there is an issue. It could be that he is feeling "overlooked" now that baby is here and this is how he "resolves"" that or it could be even bigger than that. 

    I think you need to sit down and really have a heart to heart. See if you can get a sitter and just talk. Let him know how you are feeling.  

    Good luck to you. 

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  • LuckyMissusLuckyMissus member
    Definitely counseling, I'm so sorry this is still going on. 

    "A new baby is like the beginning of all things--wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."


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  • vettymamavettymama member
    Counseling. You are not being controlling. He is not being a husband to you or a father to his child. I am sorry you are going through this. I hope things start to resolve soon.
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  • 143BabyCakes143BabyCakes member
    I agree with PP's. He is being selfish. Bring up the fact that him being in a drunken state makes him of zero use to you and LO. What if something happened while he was out? How is he capable of helping you if he is inebriated? Going out once in a while is fine. Everyone should. But when you start putting your family in a bad situation b/c you are pouting and not getting your way, and want to go act like a drunken child, then something needs to be done.



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  • zmosszmoss member

    Sorry to hear that you are getting overwhelmed & obviously overworked! you need help and support--not because you can't take care of DD on your own--but because you shouldn't have to.

    Maybe some tough love? Do you go to church? Is there a family friend or member who can mediate for you?  perhaps you need to take DD and take a break or if you are sick & tired--I'd change the f*in locks. But I'm hot headed like that.

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  • lyndsihutsonlyndsihutson member
    imagezmoss:
    Sorry to hear that you are getting overwhelmed amp; obviously overworked! you need help and supportnot because you can't take care of DD on your ownbut because you shouldn't have to. Maybe some tough love? Do you go to church? Is there a family friend or member who can mediate for you?nbsp; perhaps you need to take DD and take a break or if you are sick amp; tiredI'd change the fin locks. But I'm hot headed like that.


    I like the way you think. I keep getting mad and trying to leave but I feel like why should I take dd out of her house? Where she is familiar and has all her things? When I'm not the one wrong. He doesn't have a drinking problem but he does deal with his problems by drinking. Now I'm finding out he vented about how bad I am to MY BFF. She obviously couldn't hold it in. I'm so frustrated I just want to give up. I'm over it and I have so much resentment. I really wanna try counseling but I doubt he'd do it.

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