TTC After a Loss

You have got to be kidding me!

So just got a certified letter that my ob will no longer accept me as a patient. This is because I went and got a second and third opinion about wait times after a molar pregnancy. I'm honestly pissedd. As a nurse I always advise my patients to get a second opinion if they aren't comfortable with what a doctor is recommending. It's us very unprofessional to refuse care because someone got a second opinion.

I know doctors can refuse care and that's fine. I'm just mind blown. I choose to live my life based off of good evidence based research and sometimes the standard recommendations take a good couple if years to catch up to newer research and stats. Does that make me wrong? Heck no.

Re: You have got to be kidding me!

  • Ax2Ax2 member
    Ugh, I'm sorry.  That blows.  How unfair.
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  • Wow. I am just stunned by this. It's pretty standard to get second (and third) opinions on something that might affect your well-being. Your OB must be extremely arrogant and/or insecure to 'fire' you based on getting outside opinions. All I can say is that maybe it's a good thing - I mean, I'm not sure how much confidence I'd have in a doctor who isn't open to hearing any other professional opinion than their own!

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  • Wow, that's so awful I can't help but wonder if there's some other reason or something. It just seems really unusual. Regardless of the reason I'm sorry they refused care to you :[

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  • Wow...just...wow waddabitch.

    I'm thinking you dodged a bullet here.



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  • That seems ridiculous to me, but maybe it's time for a new doc anyway if that's his attitude.  (((HUGS)))

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  • Wow. You're right, that is completely unprofessional. However, in light of that news, I wouldn't want to be seen by that practice anyway.

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  • imageanitaflora:
    Wow, that's so awful I can't help but wonder if there's some other reason or something. It just seems really unusual. Regardless of the reason I'm sorry they refused care to you :[



    I would think so too but I literally had just started seeing them in feb right before we started trying. I literally had one pre conception visit a first ob appointment and then the DnC and follow up appointment. I don't think there was anything I could have done to make them mad in that short amount of time
  • EKGibsEKGibs member

    imageLaRomana09:
    That seems ridiculous to me, but maybe it's time for a new doc anyway if that's his attitude.  (((HUGS)))

    This.

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  • imageellajune2012:

    Wow. I am just stunned by this. It's pretty standard to get second (and third) opinions on something that might affect your well-being. Your OB must be extremely arrogant and/or insecure to 'fire' you based on getting outside opinions. All I can say is that maybe it's a good thing - I mean, I'm not sure how much confidence I'd have in a doctor who isn't open to hearing any other professional opinion than their own!

    this.  you should give your doctor one of theses as a going away gift.  what a witch.

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  • imagebethclosen:
    imageanitaflora:
    Wow, that's so awful I can't help but wonder if there's some other reason or something. It just seems really unusual. Regardless of the reason I'm sorry they refused care to you :[



    I would think so too but I literally had just started seeing them in feb right before we started trying. I literally had one pre conception visit a first ob appointment and then the DnC and follow up appointment. I don't think there was anything I could have done to make them mad in that short amount of time

    Even if they were mad at you, professionally being mad at someone or not liking a patient personally is no reason to refuse care. Whatever the reason it really just sucks and it's upsetting and I'm sorry you're going through that. [[[hugs]]]

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  • imageanitaflora:
    imagebethclosen:
    imageanitaflora:
    Wow, that's so awful I can't help but wonder if there's some other reason or something. It just seems really unusual. Regardless of the reason I'm sorry they refused care to you :[
    I would think so too but I literally had just started seeing them in feb right before we started trying. I literally had one pre conception visit a first ob appointment and then the DnC and follow up appointment. I don't think there was anything I could have done to make them mad in that short amount of time
    Even if they were mad at you, professionally being mad at someone or not liking a patient personally is no reason to refuse care. Whatever the reason it really just sucks and it's upsetting and I'm sorry you're going through that. [[[hugs]]]

    This.  I'm sorry!  As PP have said, maybe it was time anyway if that's how they treat their patients.  (((hugs))) 

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  • imageellajune2012:

    Wow. I am just stunned by this. It's pretty standard to get second (and third) opinions on something that might affect your well-being. Your OB must be extremely arrogant and/or insecure to 'fire' you based on getting outside opinions. All I can say is that maybe it's a good thing - I mean, I'm not sure how much confidence I'd have in a doctor who isn't open to hearing any other professional opinion than their own!

     

    ditto.  GL and I hope you find a new (better) OB soon! 

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  • DCWJesDCWJes member
    That is so unprofessional. Glad they dropped you with that attitude!
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  • Wow - I am totally shocked by this. This doesn't seem like a legitimate reason AT ALL to refuse care. Honestly, maybe it is better they are doing this so that you can find another practice who won't suck so much!
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  • imageQfrump:
    I'm sorry, are we in junior high again?? nbsp;Not only would I never want to go there again anyway, I would make sure that I steer my friends away from this practice. nbsp;Did they say in the letter that was the reason why? nbsp;Not some insurance something or other?


    No no reason. And my insurance and secondary insurance are pretty freaking amazing. They cover basically everything and anything. It even pays for IVF and what not
  • That's ridiculous.  One doctor is not the be all end all of information.  If he has that bad of a complex then I guess it's a good thing he dropped you.  Hopefully one of the other 2 docs that you saw will be able to take you on as a patient if you like them.  Good luck. 

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  • imageLC2010:
    That's ridiculous.nbsp; One doctor is not the be all end all of information.nbsp; If he has that bad of a complex then I guess it's a good thing he dropped you.nbsp; Hopefully one of the other 2 docs that you saw will be able to take you on as a patient if you likenbsp;them.nbsp; Good luck.nbsp;


    Ones an RE and the other is the leader in research regarding molar pregnancy and the cancer it can cause. But we have easily 6 ob offices here so it won't be such a big deal.
  • That really sucks!  I never considered the possibility that a doctor would drop you and I'm the queen of 2nd opinions!  I would write them a "nice" letter and give a bad review online.

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  • Like pp said, if that is their attitude thenyou might be better off. But man, does thag suck! I hope you find someone wonderful soon!
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  • imageellajune2012:
    Wow. I am just stunned by this. It's pretty standard to get second and third opinions on something that might affect your wellbeing. Your OB must be extremely arrogant and/or insecure to 'fire' you based on getting outside opinions. All I can say is that maybe it's a good thing I mean, I'm not sure how much confidence I'd have in a doctor who isn't open to hearing any other professional opinion than their own!

    This exactly

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  • KMW08KMW08 member
    imagebethclosen:
    imageQfrump:
    I'm sorry, are we in junior high again?? nbsp;Not only would I never want to go there again anyway, I would make sure that I steer my friends away from this practice. nbsp;Did they say in the letter that was the reason why? nbsp;Not some insurance something or other?


    No no reason. And my insurance and secondary insurance are pretty freaking amazing. They cover basically everything and anything. It even pays for IVF and what not


    That's ludicrous! It's definitely their loss, esp since your insur is that awesome. I'd call that office and have some words with them.

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  • Eliz77Eliz77 member

    I'm sorry, that is rough! I don't remember what you were told, but did the 2nd and 3rd opinion recommend you could try earlier than what your Dr suggested? That's the only thing that would make sense, like your Dr felt you were endangering your well being or something.

    I had a friend who was taking her dogs to a hollistic vet because one had several health issues and could not tolerate traditional medications. When her other dog blew her ACL, they only recommended acupuncture and rest. She was not responding well and was clearly in pain, so I and a couple friends recommended getting a 2nd opinion with an ortho surgeron and her dog had double knee surgery. The holistic vet then "fired" her as a client and refused to relase medical records for almost two months. So unprofessional, and I suspect egotistical as well...


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  • imageL&C2010:
    That's ridiculous.  One doctor is not the be all end all of information.  If he has that bad of a complex then I guess it's a good thing he dropped you.  Hopefully one of the other 2 docs that you saw will be able to take you on as a patient if you like them.  Good luck. 
    This! I'm sorry Beth. What a weird and immature situation! I'm glad you get to find a new doc.
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  • imageBeth&Derek:
    Wow. I never even considered that a doctor could do that. That sucks.

    This. I am sorry that this happened.


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  • Wow. I can't believe that. Sorry to hear

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  • Ugh! I'm sorry. That is crazy but I would say good riddance, a dr should not be that sensitive. It is your body and getting other opinions is logical!
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  • What the heck? I've never heard of such a thing. How do you even word a letter like that? How do you tell a patient your ego is so fragile that if they get a second or third opinion you can't see them anymore?
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  • imageshaylovessly:
    What the heck? I've never heard of such a thing. How do you even word a letter like that? How do you tell a patient your ego is so fragile that if they get a second or third opinion you can't see them anymore?



    Hahaha that literally made me laugh.


    Thanks everyone for all the support today. I'm still kind of dumbfound about it
  • As many of the other ladies have already posted, you are probably better off!  Obviously, there is a problem if they feel like getting a 2nd opinion is that big of an issue.  If they are confident in their own abilities, I think they would encourage you to get a 2nd opinion.

    I'm thinking of firing my OB.  She was fine when all I needed was BC.  I don't feel like she was interested in me at all when I was going through my m/c.  I really only dealt with her staff, she barely talked to me at all about it since it was diagnosed at a seperate ultrasound facility.  After I had my 2nd loss, she didn't even really want to see me since it was c/p very early on.  With two losses in a row, I feel like she should pay a little more attention to me as a patient.

  • I am shocked! And so sorry! I can't even imagine if my OB dropped me because I had a second opinion, or any doctor for that matter. You would think they would encourage it if they valued you as a patient. Hopefully this means you will find an even better OB!!! Hugs

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  • Wow. What a cr*ppy doctor.


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  • If a doctor is willing to drop me bc I sought a second opinion, then clearly I was right to seek other medical advice.  I hope this leads you to a doctor that is more in line with what you are looking for. 

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