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Update

NdsalesNdsales member
in Blended Families

I didn't update last night because by the time we got out of court (which ran 2 hours late), we met with out attorney again for a new plan, and then out flight home. We were exhausted.

The Judge sided with CPS. SS will be going back to BM in August for School. The only issues CPS found with BM was that her home needed to be cleaner for a child to live there. The judge also felt it was reasonable that SS could have contracted herpies from not washing his hands. BM's doctors claims that quite a few kids in their area have cold sores and SS could have came into contact with the disease and then did not wash his hands before touching his genitals (ya we do not buy this at all). The judge feels that since SS is not claiming he has any form of abuse, then it is all speculation on our part (he is 7 and scared).

The only thing the Judge did do in our favor was to tell BM that she could not change our Custody order based on this. We did what we felt was necessary to protect SS when we learned about the bumps.

We are appealing the ruling. Some of you mentioned that Dh should have gone right away, but we were told by CPS that we would have to wait until they released SS to us anyway before we could take him or see him. We needed to make arrangements at home for when SS arrived, and get a few things in place as well.

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Re: Update

  • KTdiditKTdidit member
    I'm so sorry, that is completely ridiculous! Prayers that your appeal has better results and that your SS is safe...
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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    I am so sorry things turned out this way. I understand how crappy the CPS system is. How in the world are they qualified to tell us what is safe for our children? They do not know what has been going on, and frightened kids are not going to just tell the whole world about their problems at home. Especially when it is turned into a serious, formal occassion. Whoever dreamed this utopian ideal never had kids.

    My heart is broken for you and your family. I am right there beside you in spirit. I know you said this summer has been very difficult behaviorally with SS and has pushed you to your breaking point, but I really believe that if his behavior is so drastically different from before, it is probably a sign that something is not right. Even if it isn't sexual abuse, which is pretty hard to rule out based on what you provided, behavioral signa indicate something is wrong.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    Oh my God.  I am so incredibly sorry for you, DH and SS.  I cannot even begin to imagine what your family is feeling right now.  It's stories like this that just break my heart and make me question the system that is supposed to fight to protect the children.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this time.  I hope things work out with the appeal and that SS stays where he is safe. 

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  • NdsalesNdsales member
    Thanks everyone. Sorry I have been MIA for the past couple of days. Playing catch up at work, and all of my free time has been on the phone to attorneys. Dh had to get back to work, or risk loosing his job. We have been granted an appeal, but court will be Sept 9. Until then we are hoping to find a way to keep SS with us and not have to send him back.
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