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LGBT Parenting
two plus one equals four
I hope this is the right area of the boards for this intro post. The story of how our little family came to be is a bit unorthodox, but wonderful and at times surprising.
I am a 35 year old bisexual female with a long history of infertility and loss. I suffered several miscarriages before being diagnosed with endometriosis, followed by several surgeries and finally, a hysterectomy (removal of my uterus and cervix, but kept my ovaries as I was so young). In addition, I also deal with some other chronic health issues that are annoying but thankfully not life threatening.
I met my husband in early 2004 and we married in 2005. Last year, after much discussion and years of looking for the "perfect" person, we added another female to our family, so now we are three. She's 32, lesbian and has been a really wonderful addition to our lives.
We've decided to expand our family yet again and are trying for baby #1. We started our first cycle on June 11th and we're currently waiting to see if it 'took'. Our families are happy for us, and although they recognize that we aren't the typical family with one mother and one father, they seem excited nonetheless.
I have no reference for how a typical ttc journey takes, as any pregnancies I ever had were sporadic, not planned and always ended in loss. My partner who will be carrying the baby comes from an extremely fertile family, and as far as we know my husband has no health issues that would prevent him from being able to create a baby, so we're hopeful that it won't take too long.
I have not read too many posts yet as I am still finding my way around, but I look forward to meeting everyone and I wish you all the best of luck with your journeys! 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: two plus one equals four
Congratulations on starting your family.
I am curious if you have all looked into the legal ramifications of what you are creating. From what it sounds like, your female partner is the biological and gestational mother, and your husband is the father. In that arrangement, you must realize that unless your female partner or your husband relinquish parental rights, and you adopt the child ( a process that requires homestudies etc) you will actually not have any legal right to the child. There is no such thing as 3rd parent adoption.
Good luck.
Welcome to the boards! Please let me know if I can help in any way! Thanks for joining our community. For the most part people are welcoming.
My spouse and I are currently TTC (trying to conceive) and just had our 5th IUI today. This journey can be long and frustrating but this group is pretty great!
Queer coupled and having a BABY with the love of my life! Love my life and wouldn't have it any other way!
First IUI 1/22/2013 BFN: 2/7/2013, Second IUI 2/21/2013 BFN: 3/9/2013, Third IUI 4/23/2013 BFN: 5/8/2013, Fourth IUI 5/24/2013 BFN: 6/7/2013, Fifth IUI 6/24/2013 BFN: 7/8/2013
C began IUI's
7/23/2013 C's first IUI BFN, 8/21/2013 C's second IUI BFN , Took a break in September and October, 11/05/2013 C's 3rd IUI (TWW...we meet again...) BFN, Took off the month to switch to an RE. 01/01/2014 C's 4th IUI...BFP!!!!!!!! Beta #1- 17, Beta #2- 34, Beta #3-140.... 6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014
03/21/2014 IUI #10...BFP!!! Beta #1- 48, Beta #2- 416, Beta #3- 1018. GROW BABY GROW!!!
1st Ultrasound 4/22/2014 Baby Squints is PERFECT! Measuring at 6w2d with a heartbeat of 129. EDD: 12/12/14.
Ultrasound at 18 weeks on 7/14/2014. Baby is healthy and growing just as she should!
Check out my blog at: http://journeytoparenthoodandmakingmilk.blogspot.com/
There are so many cool ways a family can form and it sounds like your family has found a good recipe that works for you. Good luck in your journey!
Baby Hayden Frances born 12/20/14 at 11:11 a.m... Our perfect little miracle. Here's how we got here:
My lovely wife:
5 IUI's January 2013-June 2013- 3 Cycles with Clomid- BFN
Myself: Genderqueer guy who hopped in the driver's seat of the baby making train
IUI #6- 7/23- Monitored and Trigger on Day 12, with one 16mm follicle and one 18mm follicle- BFN
IUI #7- 8/21- Not monitored, 50mg Clomid- BFN
September and October: Missed Cycles due to vacation and a Half Marathon
IUI #8- Monitored and triggered on day 15, with one 23x18mm follicle- BFN on 11/19/2013
December: Moved onto to see an RE to make a good plan.
IUI #9- 1/1/2014 Natural Cycle, BFP on 1/15/2014, 6W Ultra-Sound Reveals nothing in Gestation Sack... Natural M/C at 7W, 2/3/2014
IUI #10 3/21/2014- Natural Cycle- BFP on 4/1/2014 (please don't be an April Fools. Beta #1 13dpiui- 48, Beta #2 16dpiui- 416, Beta #3 1018...
1st Ultrasound- 4/22/2014- 6w4d HB- 134!
Check out my Blog at: http://pregnantboithinksoutloud.blogspot.com/
Thanks so much for the warm welcome, firstcomeslove2013 & doodah1013!
I wish you both tons of luck with your ttc journeys! I agree, there are many different ways to make a family. Someday, (hopefully) the legal system will catch up. In the meantime, we all have to find our own happiness!
Welcome and good luck TTC!!
Welcome to the board. I have always found that people are open and welcoming. My wife and I have taken a small break from TTC,but I try to keep up on everyone else on here still.
I consider myself bisexual, but have chosen to be with my wife. I wouldn't say we have an open relationship, but we do joke about having a "sister wife" or a boyfriend. It takes a village to run a household or raise a child so I think the people to help out the better. We joke with some of our close friends that we are going to buy land and live in a commune and all help one another. I think it takes special people to make any relationship work, let alone a poly-relationship. So good for you and your husband and partner.
Great to meet you and welcome! Depending on where you live, there actually is indeed 3rd parent adoption in Washington state, for example. It's intended for re-married parents to be able to adopt their step-children so they can get them insurance, take them to the doctor, etc.
For us, when we considered a known donor who actually wanted to parent, we were looking into that route (we loved the idea of 3 parents and weekends off!)
But it did get too complicated...
Anyhow, congrats on your union and getting started with baby makin'!
Me (43) and J (45) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
June'12 - First RE Visit
Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect.
Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl!
Little S was born on 8/21/14 - 8lb, 14 oz and 20 inches long.
We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle
We're queer. I'm 33, have severe stage 4 endo, and had both fallopian tubes removed. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus). We lost our twins Tavin and Casey at 21 weeks gestation.
Our IUIs
with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.
Our IVFs:
IVF #1 my eggs November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response
IVF #2 my eggs/Manada's uterus January/February 2014
BCPs and lupron overlap Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
BFP eve of 6dp3dt; Beta 1 (11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (15dp3dt): 348; Beta 4 (19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (21dp3dt): 4255
1st ultrasound (3/6 6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm.
***July 18, 2014 we lost our beautiful babies at 21 weeks gestation. They were born too early. Tavin Sara T. and Casey Elizabeth T. are beautiful and precious and we will love them and miss them forever.***
FET #1 December 2014
Healz, you are right. You always know what to say. I'm in that category you mentioned. :-)
OP, you are obviously welcome here and I hope your partner will easily get KU by your husband and you won't need to go through all this TTC bs. I'm very sorry for your losses, and I'm sure having your partner wanting to carry seems like a blessing at this point. Best of luck to you.
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
TTC with RE since March 2012
3 missed O's, 6 IUIs = 1 BFP then 8 w M/C, 5 BFNs
(2 unmedicated IUIs, 2 clomid IUI, 2 femara IUI)
Shared maternity/partner IVF, transfer #1 BFP!
EDD 11/28/13
I'm more of a lurker on this board, but your post absolutely caught my eye!
I was married to a man, got pregnant, separated and am now dating a girl. So there's 4 of us too
We don't have the typical family, even to this board, but I have never felt out of place on this board. It's a really accepting place to come to! 
Welcome!
I'm glad you decided to post. I was once married to a man and had 2 children. I am now in a long term committed relationship with my partner. We conceived a 3rd child together and not many (if anyone) on this board knows, but my ex-husband is our KD (known donor). He will be part of our child's life and so far it has been a wonderful experience & best of all our children are blood siblings. My ex-husband and I get along like best friends, as does he with my partner. We have an unconventional family but it works for us!
I wish you luck on your journey!
A
Twinkler, I sent you a PM!
@newmompeanut
I sent you a pm back!