Blended Families
twister22
member
Long Distance Parent & Kid in legal trouble
twister22
member
My boss and I were talking today, and his oldest son lives with the BM 19 hours away. He was supposed to get his DS(14) for 8 weeks this summer, but now his DS is in legal trouble so the visit is up in the air. It's a busy day at the office so we didn't get to talk any more about it. How does this work? If his DS goes to a Youth Detention Center, my boss will miss his visit. Is it just considered lost time since neither parent will have the child? How does that work? I feel bad for my boss, it must really suck.
ETA: Clarification
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Re: Long Distance Parent & Kid in legal trouble
It depends on what his CO says. Or how kind and agreeable his ex is. In mine it says that the other parent does not get the option to make up that date. If XH misses a weekend, I don't have to let him make it up somewhere else. But if I'm nice...I will.
I could have opted to put wording in there that would allow him or myself to make up our scheduled time with DD, but I chose to not allow that because I figured it would just be more opportunity for XH to abuse it.
I feel like the situation is different, if your XH decides to go camping, and passes up his time with DD, I get you not giving him more time, but the BD in this case isn't volunteering to give up time.
OP- that's a tough one, I feel like his time should be made up, but not all blended families work like that
19 hours puts the kid on the other side of the world. Is the child here in the US?
Has your boss verified the legal trouble? Can the child not leave the state? Is the child actually incarcerated or have an upcoming court date?
Is this a situation where a change of scenery would be best for the kid? Perhaps it is time for him to contemplate moving for residential custody and having the kid move in with him?
19 hours is not the other side of the world. Maybe talking about flying it is. But I know from here in northwest TN to where SIL and SD's siblings live in Wyoming is a 24 hour drive straight through. I always in terms of driving time.
Both my boss & the BM are US, it's 19 hours driving.
Boss & BM used to live in the same state, boss moved here when our company opened an office here. Him & the BM have VERY good relationship, and have discussed having their DS move up here. My boss said when he accepted his promotion he gave his DS the choice of moving with him or staying (the kid picked staying due to established friendships, all of BM's and my boss's family are there, and sports.) They think as of now their DS's opportunities local to BM. That, and BM is staying where she's at, while my boss is looking at promotion again which would mean another move.
My boss and I talked more about it later on, and he joked that his DS is just like him - apparently he got into legal trouble as a kid? Awesome... He doesn't blame the BM in any way, which is good, I guess.
I really don't know how my boss would make the time up, he already gets 8 weeks in the summer, every spring break, every Thanksgiving break, and every Winter break. The only thing they rotate Christmas (day the DS gets out of school through through the 26th.)