Stressed out or something more (LONG)
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now. We have DD who is 6 months and are expecting LO in Jan. He works 3rd shift and I'm a preschool teacher. So we have opposite schedules and it gets hard to spend time together.
This weekend we really got into it. I'm a super jealous person (always have been) and I can't stand it when he talks to other girls. Maybe because I have low self esteem or something idk. Anyway one thing lead to another and I straight asked him if he even cared anymore or if he wanted me to leave.
Of course he said he didn't want me to because of the kids. Well I'm not gonna stay around if I'm not wanted to. After HOURS of talking, he thinks he needs a couple days to himself. Away from work and home and just some down time. I agree and said that's fine. But I'm still worried that what if he comes back and nothing has changed? He hasn't decided for sure when he's going (his work is shut down for 12 days starting tomorrow am). He said it would only be for a few days but I'm scared to death.
Sorry it was so long. I needed to vent because keeping this in is driving me nuts.
Re: Stressed out or something more (LONG)
As long as you are being reasonable, he needs to respect your feelings and not talk to other girls.
I'm sorry that you are going through this and I hope that you can work it out.
This. You don't just get a few days off from parenting and being in a relationship. Suck it up or get out, dude.
I don't think that taking time to oneself is a bad thing in a relationship, but I also don't really see how his little "break" would benefit the situation here. If you are the primary caregiver to your infant, and working, AND pregnant, it seems to me that you're the one who needs the break. I think stress is a big factor here--as well as hormones--you're still dealing with post-partum stress in addition to pregnancy hormones. I think you would both benefit big-time from some relationship counseling, as your situation will only grow more stressfull after your second child is born. You need to work together to find strategies to cope with it.
Counseling would also help with the jealousy situation. I'm not sure what all is going on there, or what all "talking to other girls" entails, but it's possible that he sees his actions as innocent and doesn't understand how vulnerable and emotional you are six months PP. Counseling could help him understand how his actions are affecting you.
There is a difference between talking to girls and "talking" to girls. You can't expect him to talk to only the male species for the rest of his life. Counseling is a good place to start, whether you go together or by yourself.
A few days away would not fly in my house. Sure, take a breather...not a road trip. You aren't running away so why should he? You are in this together. You work it out together.