Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Lost at 9 weeks
I lost my baby about 2 months ago. I was 9 weeks pregnant. I keep waiting to feel normal again, and am trying to reach out but am finding nothing to find any support.... This is sort of my last option. I don't know anyone else who has experienced a miscarriage, and so I feel very out at sea...
It was our first baby. We couldn't have been more excited. My husband got over things pretty quickly, it seems. I haven't been able to. I still cry. I don't feel close to him or anyone at the moment. Has anyone else experienced this? I feel like I'm crazy mourning the loss of a child I didn't even know... Most people don't know what to say to me. Most of the time they just pretend like nothing happened. It all just comes back in waves...
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Re: Lost at 9 weeks
Began trying for a baby January 2012
BFP 4.25.2013 EDD 1.3.2014 MMC 6.3.2013 D&C 6.19.2013
BFP 11.3.2013 CP 11.6.2013
BFP 3.31.2014 EDD 12.10.2014 Baby boy Carlson born 12.19.2014
I think this is just a process and grief is different for everyone. Like people keep telling me, it's ok to mourn the loss of your child.
I'm so sorry this has happened to you too. You're in my thoughts and prayers!!!
I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Please know you are not alone and I hope you find the support you are looking for on here. Last week at just over 9 weeks I found out we had lost our little dream. I call it our little dream because it really was, we tried for 2+ years and finally we were pregnant and those weeks were the happiest we have ever been. I am so grateful for that time of being so happy because I got to feel that pure happiness and joy.
When I learned of my miscarriage last week I was devastated. I was devastated over the loss of what was lost and what would never be. I got on this board and found a post that was so comforting and reassuring I didn't feel so alone. I hope you find this also. I believe we are all here to help you in any way we can.
Today I had my D&C, it was tough but I think I'm going to be ok. I have an incredible network of friends to lean on and talking to them about what happened I found out that many of them also suffered miscarriages.
While things did not work out how I expected with our little dream I am not willing to give up and my husband and I will keep trying because we still have this dream and I have faith it will come true.
I know I've probably rambled too much and I'm sure I was not helpful to you at all but I just want you to know you are not alone. You will grieve and cry and be sad but please also have faith and believe that it will get better.
Thank you all for responding. It really helps knowing I'm not alone in how I feel. It's awful we have all had to experience this kind of loss. I think one of the worst things has been not having people to talk to. So thank you all again for being so open and honest. It makes the world of difference for me, truly
**picture warning**
I can definitely relate. We lost our first pregnancy back in 2007 and it took me an extremely long time to feel normal again. I really was totally not myself for months and months and months. DH also got over it quicker and while he was supportive, I know he was frustrated that I wasn't myself sooner.
I'm sorry you don't feel more supported. Sadly, miscarriage is a bit of a silent sisterhood. I was actually surprised at how many friends came out of the woodwork to tell me about their losses, however, I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I had babies a bit later so many of my friends were done with their family building. If you are younger and have less friends with kids I can see how you might feel totally isolated.
You aren't alone. That is important for you to know. I just had my third loss and that milestone (being the 1%) has been really isolating for me because even friends who have experienced a loss can't relate to my three. It makes me feel like a failure. On the upside, while I miss our baby more than anything and would give anything to still be pregnant, I have gotten back to my normal self much faster this time.
It WILL get better. Please take care of yourself.
Married 6/28/03
Kate ~ 7/3/09 *** Connor ~ 11/11/10
4 miscarriages: 2007, 2009, 2013, 2014
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No more TTC for us. We are done, and at peace, as a family of 4.
"Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” — Charles Dickens
Today is 8 wks exactly since my MC. And my sorrow comes & goes in waves now it seems. It was our first baby as well; we hadn't shared our news with any1 yet as we were only 8 wks along. My DH was over it pretty quickly as well. It kinda hurt my feelings at first that he wasn't more upset, at first, but as time has passed I've realized that it's just different for him. As many PPs have said we're moms from the moment we get our pink line but DH doesn't have that immediate attachment.
I still have only shared that I had a MC with a few select friends & family. It's hard to share when no one knew we were expecting, which is kind of a double edge sword. I don't have to answer any awkward PG questions but I also feel obligated to pretend everything is "normal", when it's obviously not.
I've had plenty of those "all alone" feelings. B/c I have no one to turn to who can relate/understand what I'm feeling. That's what is so great about these boards. Everyone here can relate....we've all (sadly) been there...and we're all willing to share our love, support, & lots of hugs whenever you need, whether you need info, opinions, or just to vent. WE GET IT when no one around you does.
I'm so sorry for your loss!!! TP to you and welcome to the board