Two Under 2
michellepeanut
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Hiring Help?
michellepeanut
member
in Two Under 2
Hey Ladies,
My DD just turned 1 and I'm 8 weeks pregnant with #2. My family lives in another province, my DHs family spends the winter in another country (when we're expecting the baby) and my closest friend is due the month before me sooo we're a little short on free help.
I'm currently a SAHM and just can't wrap my head around daycares for her so young (around 19months) so we're looking at hiring a nanny to come and play with DD 3 mornings a week. Does this sound like a good plan, is there anything I'm missing or any advice you have? I live in the north so it'll be quite cold in January so they'll probably be mostly stuck in the house but I figured I could use the extra set of hands to try and do outings with 1 or both of them.
TIA
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Re: Hiring Help?
If you can afford to hire help, go for it! Personally I'd recommend hiring a cleaning service once every 2weeks or so. I had my DH or my mom with me for the first 3 weeks after DS was born (DD was 18months). After that I was on my own for the most part (DH works long hours with long commute). I managed to get out with both kids almost every day. We would go to music class, gym class, library storytime, playgroups, grocery store, the mall.
If you are going to hire a PT nanny, I would suggest sometimes having nanny watch the baby so you can do some fun activities with your older child, and sometimes have her watch both kids so you can get some "me time" to go shopping, take a nap, even just take a shower.
In your situation, I would also be looking for a few people you can call on to watch your DD when you go into labor. Even if you are planning on having family fly in or something, you need to be prepared in case LO comes unexpectedly.
This. I guess it just seems silly to me, but I'm kind of funny about stuff like that.
If you don't think you could handle them both, I would go for daycare over a nanny. I think she would benefit more from playing and learning from peers, rather than another adult at home.
Agreed. I know my toddler would not want to play with a stranger in my house while I am there. If I am there, she wants me so the only way this would work would be if she left the house. I think putting your child in daycare once or twice a week would be nice and then you could also hire someone to clean your house.
my older son occasionally would play with the babysitter in the house so my husband and i could get stuff done (when we were "checking out" new babysitters), but i would echo previous posters that your older daughter may not see it as black and white as, this is time to play with nanny not mommy.
my son goes to an in home day care about once a week to give me some 1 on 1 time with the little guy and get more done around the house, but he went there for awhile before LO was born. whatever you do decide, i'd start it before you have the kid to give her time to adjust.
Do NOT let anyone here shame you or make you feel like you should be able to cope totally alone. I do not believe anyone saying you should be able to handle it all yourself is in your situation, where you have a lack of family and friends nearby. Not many women are unfortunate enough to have a near complete lack of a support network.
I understand what it's like, my family live in England, I live in the US. My husbands mother died a few months before DD was born and his step mother died when she was 3 months old, then his sister moved state and out closest friends moved away. Now our nearest good friends are a half hour drive away. The only family DH has left here is his dad, who looks at babies like they are aliens. I have no one.
So yes, hire help, because having that person there even for a few hours a week can save you. I fully intend to do the same when the next one arrives in January.
Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
Eleanor Gwendolyn