Pregnant after IF

XP: Vent and Anxiety

Beta 1 came back with great numbers, I just can't help but feel some trepidation, because I know lots of people have great numbers to start with and end up with nothing in the end. It is very upsetting. I know right this moment I should probably just enjoy a "successful" cycle, but still. I'm worried about numbers doubling. If they double, I'll worry about u/s, etc etc. It's so frustrating when you work this hard only to continue to worry and STILL not have any control over anything. I'm PARANOID about this being a successful pregnancy. I want to be able to enjoy this, but I simply cannot. I've been reading a lot of siggies lately and it causes me to wonder how numbers can be so fantastic in the beginning, but some of them have ended in loss, some of them for no apparent reason. I just can't fathom that at all. It would seem with good numbers to back you up, you should have some sense of security, and you don't. **PANIC MODE**

On 10/23/13 Baby Sophie and Baby Gabriel born at 21+5 weeks. They grew wings and flew away from us. May God bless them always. We love you beans!
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
Phoebe Jaslene born at 19w3d. We love you beba! Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers



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Re: XP: Vent and Anxiety

  • It is really hard not to always worry.  Try taking it one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time!).  For today, you are pregnant and have great beta numbers! 
    Me (37) DH (39); PCOS changed to Unexplained, changed to DOR in 2012 (finally a correct diagnosis!); 
    Started TTC 2009 with RE after 6 months.  
    Clomid + Trigger x2; 
    IUI + Femara x1,
    IUI + Follistim x2;
    IVF #1 (MDL) February 2013- BFN.
    IVF #2 (antagonist) May 2013, First BFP of my life. 
    Identical twin miracle BOYS (!!) headed our way- due date is technically 2/4/14 but c section is scheduled for 1/7! 


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  • I am sorry you are so anxious and looking at my siggy wont help but you have to enjoy good new when you get it otherwise you will be miserable all the time. Alot of bad things have happened to me and I don't wait for them I just let things play out how they will then deal with whatever comes at that moment. 

    And if you do miscarry you will get through it.  

    6 m/c
    Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
    Natural cycle Dec 2010 BFP M/C 6 1/2 Weeks, D&E Jan 2011
    1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
    Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
    1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
    Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
    DQ ALPHA HLA MATCH, High NK Cells Diagnosed Dec 2011
    IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
    IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
    Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
    Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone) 
    Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
    Nov/Dec 2012 LIT Treatment
    Dec 12 Humira
    Jan 2013 BFP
    Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
    Miracle Born August 2013 Premature

    Yours doesn't have to be a sad story



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    Lilypie - (ugiy)


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  • I don't mean to scare you but you will worry and it will never stop. You will worry about the tests, then the ultrasound, then birth, then feeding, then a cold, etc. Motherhood is a lot of worry.




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  • I feel ya hun, I'm pretty stressed myself.  I feel like the days are just dragging in between my u/s appointments (and they are weekly).  I just want to be happy and enjoy this!!  I look forward to finishing 1st Tri, but then I'm sure I'll be stressed with something else after.  Ugh!
    TTC #1 since Sept 2011
    Me: 33, DH: 35, DX: PCOS & MFI (low everything)
    IUI #1-3 - Low Post-Wash Counts - All BFNs
    IVF #1 w/ ICSI: Long Lupron Protocol - Freeze-All Cycle due to Severe OHSS
    ER 4/27, 33 Eggs Retrieved, 13 Frosties
    FET #1 6/5, Transferred One Perfect 4AA Blast, HPT BFP @ 6dp5dt
    Beta #1 - 209, Beta #2 - 508, Beta #3 - 1,059
    EDD 2/20/14
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    Pregnancy Ticker
  • LuCloLuClo member

    I'm sure all new mom's worry to some extent, but IF really messes with your brain.  It makes it so hard to trust and believe in anything.  You're not alone.  Eventually it does start to get a little better.  For me it was after our 18 week ultrasound that I finally felt like I could stop worrying as much.  Each person is different though.  

    Just try to remind yourself that today you are pregnant.  Today you are the best possible mom this baby could hope for.  Today you love this baby more than s/he will ever understand.  What happens tomorrow is out of your control.

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