Beta 1 came back with great numbers, I just can't help but feel some trepidation, because I know lots of people have great numbers to start with and end up with nothing in the end. It is very upsetting. I know right this moment I should probably just enjoy a "successful" cycle, but still. I'm worried about numbers doubling. If they double, I'll worry about u/s, etc etc. It's so frustrating when you work this hard only to continue to worry and STILL not have any control over anything. I'm PARANOID about this being a successful pregnancy. I want to be able to enjoy this, but I simply cannot. I've been reading a lot of siggies lately and it causes me to wonder how numbers can be so fantastic in the beginning, but some of them have ended in loss, some of them for no apparent reason. I just can't fathom that at all. It would seem with good numbers to back you up, you should have some sense of security, and you don't. **PANIC MODE**
Re: XP: Vent and Anxiety
I am sorry you are so anxious and looking at my siggy wont help but you have to enjoy good new when you get it otherwise you will be miserable all the time. Alot of bad things have happened to me and I don't wait for them I just let things play out how they will then deal with whatever comes at that moment.
And if you do miscarry you will get through it.
Anovulatory cycles, increased Synthroid Diagnosed Sep 2010
1 Clomid/Ovidrel BFN May 2011
Natural cycle Aug 2011 BFP M/C 4 Weeks
1 IUI Sept 2011 BFP M/c 7 weeks
Provera Dec 2011 BFP M/C 3 Weeks
IVF March 2012 BFP m/c 4weeks 5 days (IL, Prednisone)
IVF#2w/DS July 2012 MEGA FAILURE BFN (IL, Dexamethasone)
Diagnosed No real HLA Match, DQ Beta Triad, High TNF, Low NK Cells
Oct 2012 Natural Cycle m/c 4wks (Lovenox, Prednisone)
Went to Beer Center- high tnf, low lad, implantation failure
Jan 2013 BFP
Humira,LIT,Prednisone, Lovenox, IVIG, Baby Aspirin
Miracle Born August 2013 Premature
Yours doesn't have to be a sad story
Me: 33, DH: 35, DX: PCOS & MFI (low everything)
IUI #1-3 - Low Post-Wash Counts - All BFNs
IVF #1 w/ ICSI: Long Lupron Protocol - Freeze-All Cycle due to Severe OHSS
ER 4/27, 33 Eggs Retrieved, 13 Frosties
FET #1 6/5, Transferred One Perfect 4AA Blast, HPT BFP @ 6dp5dt
Beta #1 - 209, Beta #2 - 508, Beta #3 - 1,059
EDD 2/20/14
I'm sure all new mom's worry to some extent, but IF really messes with your brain. It makes it so hard to trust and believe in anything. You're not alone. Eventually it does start to get a little better. For me it was after our 18 week ultrasound that I finally felt like I could stop worrying as much. Each person is different though.
Just try to remind yourself that today you are pregnant. Today you are the best possible mom this baby could hope for. Today you love this baby more than s/he will ever understand. What happens tomorrow is out of your control.