what I used to say about parenting, venty

MamaAloha · June 2013

"when you have a baby, you have to keep living your own life"

Yesterday a well-meaning friend encouraged me and another new mom to go camping with our big group of friends next weekend. In her enthusiasm for this event she 'reminded' us that "just because you have a kid doesn't mean you stop living your own life." While I had to stop myself from an impulse to claw her face off, I realized that I actually used to think that too.

But now, that idea is beyond absurd. No, you are not living your own life anymore, not AT ALL. You are spending your every waking moment caring for, or cleaning up after, a completely dependent mini human being, and it is a time consuming and often deeply stressful existence. I'm tired of my childless friends being surprised that I'm exhausted and disinterested in dragging myself and my screaming baby around anymore than I have to.

Mrs.Castaldi · June 2013

YES!! Childless friends are surprised I don't really go out anymore. Friends with older kids seem to have forgotten what it was like when they first had a baby. One of by closest friends is having a big birthday weekend in Vegas in a few weeks and DH is pushing for us to go! It's driving me insane! Vegas! With a 3 month old! How is that suppose to be fun for me?

kmornelas29 · June 2013

MamaAloha:
"when you have a baby, you have to keep living your own life"Yesterday a wellmeaning friend encouraged me and another new mom to go camping with our big group of friends next weekend. In her enthusiasm for this event she 'reminded' us that "just because you have a kid doesn't mean you stop living your own life." While I had to stop myself from an impulse to claw her face off, I realized that I actually used to think that too. But now, that idea is beyond absurd. No, you are not living your own life anymore, not AT ALL. You are spending your every waking moment caring for, or cleaning up after, a completely dependent mini human being, and it is a time consuming and often deeply stressful existence. I'm tired of my childless friends being surprised that I'm exhausted and disinterested in dragging myself and my screaming baby around anymore than I have to.nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;nbsp;

Amen!

luvbug6315 · June 2013

I'm pretty sure my husband thinks this way too! Drives me nuts to have to explain to him why it wouldn't be fun for ME to go camping or anywhere different overnight with the baby.

Crequito · June 2013

MamaAloha:
I'm tired of my childless friends being surprised that I'm exhausted and disinterested in dragging myself and my screaming baby around anymore than I have to.

This! We had a bday party and a housewarming party on the same day and I decided to only take DD to the bday party (we received that invite first). DH went to the housewarming on his own. People were upset he didn't bring DD but hello, I'm trying to keep her schedule as routine as possible and she had already been overstimulated.

findmenow · June 2013

I'm going camping next weekend with DD. It will be a fun adventure and I'm looking forward to it more than DH! That being said, it will be a family-type atmosphere and not childless couples looking to party so it will be a lot more forgiving if DD isn't her best.

PippaLee33 · June 2013

Agreed. I find it's even harder now with 2 kids and most things are just not worth it. I've come to the sad conclusion that going out to eat with young kids is just not fun anymore which is sad because it used to be our favorite thing to do. I get so jealous when we go out and I see parents with their 7 year+ kids sitting and talking at the table while I'm trying to wrangle my two year old and discretely nurse an infant. No fun.

mon.petit.chou · June 2013

eh, we're going camping with friends soon and I'm really looking forward to it. We're also planning on hosting a poker night next month. We're not going out as much as we used to, but we are still enjoying going out occassionally. We've gone out to dinner several times where there has been crying followed by me nursing him at the table and not getting to finish my food right away, but it's really not that bad I don't think.

Mrs.Castaldi · June 2013

britt1430:
Mrs.Castaldi:
YES!! Childless friends are surprised I don't really go out anymore. Friends with older kids seem to have forgotten what it was like when they first had a baby. One of by closest friends is having a big birthday weekend in Vegas in a few weeks and DH is pushing for us to go! It's driving me insane! Vegas! With a 3 month old! How is that suppose to be fun for me?

Omg!! My LO is 3 months and I won't even go to the grocery store alone for fear he will scream for boob when I have a full cart and am about to check out. Vegas?? No freaking way!!

Yeah, I was trying to explain "worst case scenario" to DH this morning. Overall LO is pretty good, but he doesn't always like being in the car, so some time in that 3 hour drive he could flip out and start crying his eyes out. He's not sleeping through the night yet and we would have to keep alternating who stayed in the room with him. Since I'm still breast feeding it's not like I can leave DH in the room to watch lo and go seriously party it up at night with my friends and if you can't heavily drink Vegas for a birthday loses a lot of appeal.

what I used to say about parenting, venty

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