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Success after IF
IBackBevo
member
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Do you think most couples who have IF...
IBackBevo
member
eventually become a parent one way or another? I was thinking about the people I know IRL who have been through IF and almost all of them eventually either got pregnant or moved on to adoption. For some, it took years and years, but most of them eventually became a parent one way or another.
What actually made me think about this was there was a woman on a tv show who had Cancer (twice) and she was saying the most painful part of the entire situation was not being able to have children. She then also said that you had to be Cancer free for so many years (I think she said five) before adoption agencies would consider you...and by the time she had been Cancer free for that long (after going through treatment and then having it come back some years later and then battling it again), she was advanced in age and didn't feel it would be fair to a child. It was such a sad story...
IF DX: DOR & Fragile X pre-mutation carrier
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Do you think most couples who have IF...
I feel like I read an article somewhere that said that more than 90 percent of couples dealing with IF had a child by the ten year mark.
I would like to believe that most couples are able to parent.
I assume the answer is yes, but it is such a tricky question. I think this is one of the most important roles of therapists at IF clinics- to ask patients and support couples as they ask themselves, "How far are we willing to go?" If someone had asked me if I would ever do IVF, I would have said no. I was an adoption/foster care worker and always saw myself adopting long before going through high tech ART. But, then I got pregnant and I loved that baby and felt the connection. When I lost the pregnancy, I just kept thinking, "But, I've been pregnant. I can do it again." And, I desperately wanted to be pregnant again. That kept me going when cycle after cycle was canceled or failed. Had we not been successful with IVF, we would have moved to adoption. However, I completely understand why some couples are not comfortable with that option and decide to be CFNBC.
On another note, I've often seen a five year, cancer-free period for domestic infant adoption. International adoption is not my forte, but I assume certain countries also have similar rules. It can also be extraordinarily difficult for individuals with mental health diagnoses or chronic health conditions to meet the qualifications for adoption. Adoption through foster care can sometimes offer more options for families dealing with extenuating circumstances.
12dp5dt: 765; 15dp5dt: 1979; 17dp5dt: 3379...TWINS!!!!!
Our perfect baby boys were born at 36w1d!!
Had to say...I can think of three couples that I know who tried ART to various levels and still have no children (and two for sure won't).
The first is a long shot, clomid failure and decided to pursue adoption (already 40), they have had two private adoptions fall through and still pursuing.
The second tried short of IVF and is going to stick with animals (now 40+).
The third tried ART, but failure resulted in a crumbling marriage and divorce. She is remarried with teenage step kids (also 40+). Not sure I would count teenage step kids as eventual children since she had no hand in raising them.
Im sure there are more that I don't know their specific status related to their history.
Sadly, a lot of it comes down to money and age.
Me-36, Unexplained Infertility, DH-35, all clear
Clomid 50mg 12/2011 = BFN
Clomid 100mg 1/2012 = BFN, with Cyst
IVF #1 Lupron/Menopur/Gonal-f/HCG Trigger
ER 4/19/12 = 11 retrieved, 6 fertilized,
ET 4/22/12 = 2 transfered (day 3), remaining 3 weren't good enough to freeze
Beta 5/3 = BFP, 87 Beta #2 5/7 560.9 Beta #3 5/9 1376.5 First u/s One Baby, 125bpm!
Second u/s, 176bmp! Kicked over to the OB by the RE at 8w. Team Green!!
I know of couple (both 40+) who tried IVF a few times and have now accepted that they will have fur babies only. It is sad, because they would be awesome parents, but they seemed to be in denial and shopped around for someone to tell them good numbers when they should have been starting ASAP.
I also have a friend who had 11 IUIs, 7 IVF cycles and several failed adoptions. 2 girls backed out and another changed her mind after they'd had the baby 4 MONTHS! Ridiculous. To add insult to injury, she and her husband are both OBGYNs - imagine seeing pregnant ladies all day long. The good news is that they had a successful adoption and were even able to be there for the delivery. It is final and they have their beautiful baby.
Me – 33 (no diagnosis), DH – 41 (MFI)
IVF #1/ICSI 2008 – 22 ER, 21 F, Day 3 transfer (8A and 8B) - BFP, 3 Frosties
Surprise BFP 2010
Surprise BFP 2011
Shipped frosties from TX to VA in 2012
FET #1 May 2013, single blast – BFN
FET #2 August 2013 2 blasts – BFN
IVF #2/ICSI/AH Jan 2014 – 8 ER, 7M, 6 F Day 3 transfer (grade 2 & 3), no frosties - BFP!
That is so sad, but I guess happy at the same time. I don't know if I could take it. There is a poster on one of the other forums I frequent who has severe DOR. First, she had a failed adoption. Then she finally got pregnant only to have her LO pass away during a freak accident during child birth. At that point, if I had been this woman you would have just had to have locked me away in the mental hospital. But she is still trying as far as I know. I virtually admire her.
But everyone in know IRL has sooner or later through one means or another (multiple rounds of IVF, adoption, DE, etc.) been able to eventually become a parent. I actually know a pretty high number who have adopted.
2011: FSH 13.3 & E 99; AMH 0.54 2nd FSH 6.2 E 40's AFC: 8
BFP from Clomid/IUI ~ Pre-e and IUGR during pregnancy ~ DS born 9/4/12
Feb./March 2013: AMH less than 0.16 (undectable) and AFC = 4;
BFP from supps ~ DS#2 due May 2014
May 2014 January Siggy Challenge:
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!