August 2011 Moms
ohyeahdollface
member
Options
Shoes in the house (Poll)
ohyeahdollface
member
So this has become a hot topic in my family.
Do you wear shoes in your house:
Do you allow people to wear shoes in your house:
When you go to someones house, do you remove your shoes:
Backstory. My family ALWAYS wears shoes in their house. Soon as I met DH I became a no shoes in the house person. I realized how many germs are outside, and how your shoes bring them all in. My kid rolls around on the floor, puts things in her mouth, etc. Basically all those germs from outside would be in her mouth. To me its the equivalent of letting her lick the sidewalk.
My mom and stepdad wear shoes in their house. When they come to my house, the take them off. They respect the fact that we prefer to keep shoes off. Well, when my grandparents came over I explained that we just bought a new rug ($350) and would appreciate it if they took their shoes off.
HOLY COW. It led to the biggest sh!t storm. My grandparents moved here a week ago and refuse to come over because they don't want to have to take their shoes off.
Am I being unreasonable?
Do you wear shoes in your house:
Do you allow people to wear shoes in your house:
When you go to someones house, do you remove your shoes:
Backstory. My family ALWAYS wears shoes in their house. Soon as I met DH I became a no shoes in the house person. I realized how many germs are outside, and how your shoes bring them all in. My kid rolls around on the floor, puts things in her mouth, etc. Basically all those germs from outside would be in her mouth. To me its the equivalent of letting her lick the sidewalk.
My mom and stepdad wear shoes in their house. When they come to my house, the take them off. They respect the fact that we prefer to keep shoes off. Well, when my grandparents came over I explained that we just bought a new rug ($350) and would appreciate it if they took their shoes off.
HOLY COW. It led to the biggest sh!t storm. My grandparents moved here a week ago and refuse to come over because they don't want to have to take their shoes off.
Am I being unreasonable?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Shoes in the house (Poll)
We are a half and half family. We both grew up on no shoes in the family homes. However when I moved out it was a big deal for me to be able to wear my shoes whenever I wanted.
Now if I am wearing sneakers or shoes they come off. Flip flops I wear all the time.
Guest I always say "Don't worry about your shoes" but I don't have a brand new rug either.
Sorry that people are getting upset
I don't understand why they would be so offended. Can you ask them why?
We don't usually wear shoes in the house, but we don't ask people to remove their shoes upon entry. If they ask us about shoes, we say that we don't wear shoes in the house but don't care if they do or don't.
At work (I'm a nanny in somebody else's house), we ask people to remove their shoes upon entry. DS is the exception to this rule because he wears orthotics all the time, and shoes must be worn with them. He wears his shoes in everyone's house.
I don't wear shoes in the house because I just don't like wearing shoes. I don't mind if people wear them in my house. If I go to someones house I follow their cues on whether they are wearing them or not. Maybe they find it rude for a young person to tell an older person what to do? It might be more about that than actually wearing their shoes.
Great idea, Gillie!
But, from what I gather, some people find it incredibly rude for a host to ask for shoe removal. I know it's regional.
I think it's rude to walk in someone's house and not at least ask if they should take them off.
I have hardwood flooring and people think they don't have to because there's no carpet. I don't think so.
They get super dramatic over the smallest stuff.
When Penelope was born they did not get a call to announce her arrival till almost three hours after she was born. Why? Because my phone died. I only had a chance to shoot a quick text to my mom, and it ended up not even going through.
She would not return my calls for three days. She had no clue that Penelope was rushed to NICU in an ambulance the morning after we brought her home.
We are generally shoeless in the house.
We allow people to wear their shoes. We did have a while where we had a no shoe policy in certain parts of the house (mainly DD's bedroom and the living room play area) but this was just when she was in the crawling stage and putting every single speck of dirt in her mouth. I do still prefer that people remove their shoes, but I don't make a big deal out of it.
If I walk into someone else's house and see them taking off their shoes, I immediately remove mine as well. Their house, their rules.
Your grandparents sound like they're being a little ridiculous.
We don't wear shoes in the house. We used to, but not anymore. The first place we rented in Hawaii had it as part of the rental agreement that we couldn't wear shoes in the house, and it's a big part of the culture there. (But most people wear flip flops anyway, so it's not a big deal to take them off.)
We just continued that when we moved to the next house, and now with this one. I think DH now realizes how many nasty germs get tracked around with shoes.
My parents mostly follow the rule when they visit. We've actually only had one other visitor in this house since we moved here, and I don't even remember what she did. (ie, I don't think I asked her to take them off, but I also don't remember if she saw the shoe shelf by the door and took them off on her own.)
I would never ask my grandma to take off her shoes - that would be really rough on her physically.
Exactly.
Mostly, we don't have to ask people to take off their shoes. Everyone who knows us does it without having to be asked, and others see us barefoot and take the hint. We will ask if the need arises, though. We're in a rental and try to take as good care of the floors as possible.
And yes, I always take my shoes off as soon as I enter the door of someone else's home. It's ingrained in me.
With the grandparents, do you think it could be a generational thing? Like being without shoes is more "casual" than they're comfortable with? Just a thought.
We're "whatever" because we rent and don't often have visitors, however once we get to our new place we will at least be a "no shoes upstairs" family - especially once we buy new carpet. I wouldn't be offended however if someone asked me to take my shoes off.
BUT now you have me wondering if I left my shoes on when I visited you.......uh oh.
Not unreasonable at all.
I take my shoes off when I'm at someone else's house, though in the summer, that means going around barefoot since I wear sandals all the time. :S
I tell my kids to take off their shoes because I swear they fill them with sand and dirt on purpose.
Not sure if it's an actual Chinese tradition or if it's just DH's family, but my IL's all keep a few pairs of slippers by the door for guests to wear. That way they can take off their shoes without having to go barefoot.