Trying CIO

Cbarajas08 · June 2013

So I have given in to trying CIO. When do I do checkins? How long? Can someone give me the cliff noted version. Her Dr told me to just let her cry until she fell asleep. Help! I am trying to be strong.

Andreabks · June 2013

we started with naps, as it was easier for me to deal with it during the day.

we started with 5 min checkins, then adding a minute each check. the first night she cried for 90 minutes. the next night was 70 or so, then it slowed down from there.

we still have bad nights from time to time, but typically those are nights where she's teething/sick/hitting a new milestone.

some people are ok with CIO, some not. I had a really hard time in the beginning, but it helped us in the long run. if LO is genuinely upset, i'll go back in and rock/feed again, but if she's just crying for no reason i try to just let her do her thing. she doesn't need it often and hasn't since she was about 4 months.

Cbarajas08 · June 2013

So when I go in, do I pick her up or just pat her??

katiejo1216 · June 2013

https://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html

Read this. Hang in there. Do what feels right for you but be consistent. DS cried for 43 minutes the first night and that was the only night he cried longer than 15 minutes.

Soon she will be falling asleep on her own without crying and you will all be much happier. You can do it!

jodegaard · June 2013

Someone else may be able to help you with check-in advice. We tried that at first, but it only served to make J angry, so we went with extinction (no check-ins). He would cry off and on, from a whining fuss to an all out bawl. But in the end he learned to fall asleep on his own.

With MOTN wakings, we did the same thing if it was before 4 am. After 4 am, I would feed him and he'd go right back to sleep. Hope that helps.

You can do it! You're helping your LO learn a valuable skill of self soothing and you won't regret it!

Andreabks · June 2013

LO is big on standing in her crib and crying at the door. i lay her back down, give her back the paci if she spit it out, hand her back her lovey, say i love you and then leave again.

if she's lying down, then i check the paci/lovi/blanket, pat her tummy a bit, shush her and leave.

if its the motn, then i try to just sush and let her go back to sleep. are you fixing night wakings or the initial going down?

Cbarajas08 · June 2013

Thanks ladies. DD pulls herself up so she was standing in her crib. DH has been pressuring me to do this so I finally gave in. I got up to go do the first checkin and DH was just standing at her door. He couldn't handle her crying anymore. He gave in and said we would try again tomorrow. He said tomorrow we will let her cry longer.

twoitalians · June 2013

jodegaard:
Someone else may be able to help you with check-in advice. We tried that at first, but it only served to make J angry, so we went with extinction (no check-ins). He would cry off and on, from a whining fuss to an all out bawl. But in the end he learned to fall asleep on his own.
With MOTN wakings, we did the same thing if it was before 4 am. After 4 am, I would feed him and he'd go right back to sleep. Hope that helps.
You can do it! You're helping your LO learn a valuable skill of self soothing and you won't regret it!

This was our plan, but I didn't have to do any MOTN feedings he dropped those immediately. Check out www.troublesometots.com for more info on the check in schedule.

Cbarajas08 · June 2013

Thanks for the links. They both have great info. I will share them with DH so he is informed as well.

katiejo1216 · June 2013

LiliDragon:
My best advice: stick to your plans. It will not work if you give in. You will literally teach her to cry longer.

I completely agree with this. She won't figure out the self soothing skills if you let her cry for 10 minutes one night and then pick her up and then 15 minutes the next night, etc. If you aren't ready, that is okay too, but committing to it that first night was key for us. Talk it through and see what you feel ready for.

Cbarajas08 · June 2013

katiejo1216:
LiliDragon:
My best advice: stick to your plans. It will not work if you give in. You will literally teach her to cry longer.
I completely agree with this.  She won't figure out the self soothing skills if you let her cry for 10 minutes one night and then pick her up and then 15 minutes the next night, etc.  If you aren't ready, that is okay too, but committing to it that first night was key for us.  Talk it through and see what you feel ready for.  

I agree. I need to share the literature with DH so he is informed. Since he said he wanted to let her CIO, I had prepared myself with some candy, snacks, drink and my DVR.

ccam · June 2013

Have a plan, be consistent, and once you start, don't give in!! You'll just be starting over every time. Good luck!

smile50208 · June 2013

LiliDragon:
You will literally teach her to cry longer. My goal was to get her trained with the least amount of crying possible. Now she falls asleep at night and sleeps straight through. It is so worth it!

Agreed! We leave the door to DS's room slightly open so I can peak into the room from the doorway without disturbing him. If he sees me, it sets him off in a screaming fit. He now goes to sleep after babbling for about 2 minutes. If he isn't feeling well or teething it takes a little more time.

bigbootyjudi · June 2013

Cbarajas08:
Thanks ladies. DD pulls herself up so she was standing in her crib. DH has been pressuring me to do this so I finally gave in. I got up to go do the first checkin and DH was just standing at her door. He couldn't handle her crying anymore. He gave in and said we would try again tomorrow. He said tomorrow we will let her cry longer.

She's going to cry. That's inevitable, so be prepared for that. You both need to be on the same page because if you're just going to go in and pick her up, then she's crying for nothing. Here's some tips (from me, whatever I matter... :P):

1. If she's standing up, throwing her pacifier out of her crib, whatever, let her do it until it's time for you to check-in. When you go to check-in, you can set her down, give her back her pacifier, turn back on her soother, whatever the routine is.

2. I never said anything to G when I checked in because I felt like it just woke him up more/made him want to play. So, I would go in, kiss him on the forehead, lay him down, give him his pacifier, turn on his seahorse, and leave.

3. Shutting the door loudly pissed him off. I had to turn the doorknob in so that it shut quietly (I still do).

4. Do the same exact thing every time you go in, in the same order. Now, when I walk into G's room, the rare times he needs me to check-in, he automatically waits for me to kiss his forehead, then drops himself to his mattress (he's usually standing up), waits for his pacifier, then cuddles up next to his seahorse, turning it on.

5. Write everything down. Get a notebook. Write "8am - down, 8:03am - crying, 8:08 - fussing, 8:13 - playing, quiet," so that you can see in black and white over the days that it IS working.

6. Don't give up. Don't go in early. Get some headphones. Watch a movie. Run on the treadmill.

juniper75 · June 2013

Hang in there and Good Luck! We just finished night 5 and its going really well. We are still doing one or two MOTN nursing sessions but those are working well too. She is still crying for 510 min when I put her down for the night awake but she isn't crying at all when I put her down after the MOTN feeds and she falls back asleep almost right after I put her down! She's woken up a few other times and fussed a bit, not crying and gone back to bed on her own within minutes. No more endless rocking sessions in this house!!! The first couple of nights she woke up early around 5 am but that is gradually lenghtening to 6:20 today!

Before this she was getting harder to put down at night, waking up a lot and often staying awake for hours in the middle of the night. We may work on cutting out one of the feeds soon but now that I can be in and out in under 10 minutes its not a big deal for me to get up.

Naps will be next for us. I hear they are harder but so far the whole experience has been well worth it for us!

juniper75 · June 2013

Oops that should say one to two MOTN sessions not 12 darn phone

latnprincess · June 2013

jodegaard:
Someone else may be able to help you with check-in advice. We tried that at first, but it only served to make J angry, so we went with extinction (no check-ins). He would cry off and on, from a whining fuss to an all out bawl. But in the end he learned to fall asleep on his own.
With MOTN wakings, we did the same thing if it was before 4 am. After 4 am, I would feed him and he'd go right back to sleep. Hope that helps.
You can do it! You're helping your LO learn a valuable skill of self soothing and you won't regret it!

We did this exactly! And at 1 I am going to let him CIO that 4 am feeding. Not looking forward to it.

Cbarajas08 · June 2013

Thanks for all the tips. When we were on vacation last week, she slept with us. Now, she doesn't want to be in her crib. I have had a baby crawling on me and DH has been sleeping in another room. It is time to CIO. I sent DH the links and hopefully we will start tonight. I'll need some support tonight!

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