Just sad

JessicaG220 · June 2013

Hi ladies,

It's comforting that we all post about the same problems, worries, and fears. I know this board is less active than others because late loss is less common than miscarriage, and we tend to discuss the same topics. I don't want to harp on stuff, but I am just so, so sad. Thursday is Ava's EDD and I imagine I will be a basketcase that day. I told DH this morning that this is the first time in my life that I want to wish the summer away. I hate the month of June now and it makes me depressed because I love summer so much.

I just want to feel less sad. Stupid things upset me, like all of these stories about Kim Kardashian and Kate Middleton. I try to focus on the future and I try to cling to the idea of trying again so that I can feel better, but it doesn't really help. I miss her. I am so sad about everything that she and I will miss out on. I'm sad that I can't kiss her little cheeks or hold her little fingers or watch her sleep. I have two cats whom I am absolutely obsessed with, and my gray tabby, Jack, slept under the blanket with me last night and I felt like Ava sent him to comfort me. It reminded me that I should have my sweet girl next to me, but it really helped that Jack wanted to snuggle.

Thanks for listening to my randomness. You ladies are the best! I hope my sadness eases up. I assume it will once June 27 passes, so I will hold onto that hope for now.

princezjk · June 2013

Thinking of you and sending you thoughts and prayers for you upcoming EDD. I hope you have something nice planned for yourself that day, to help you get through. (((hugs)))

OSUWifey09 · June 2013

***siggy warning***

Devon was born sleeping at 34 weeks, so his EDD landed at the very end of my medical leave [I took 6 weeks]. While I did spend most of that morning crying, I took the time to write a letter to Devon, to talk to him and reflect on what my life had been like the previous six weeks. My mom took off that afternoon and spent it with me, which helped me a lot.

I hope you find the time to spend some of the day with H, or even by yourself if that's what you want. I know that day will be hard, but I hope the days after start to become a little easier. I'll be thinking of you this week. *hugs*

tuscanbride2007 · June 2013

I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad lately. My EDD was only 2 and half weeks from my loss. We decided to take a vacation and I was on an airplane that day. I cried the entire flight while DH just held me. When we landed, I felt better and we went on with our day. Be gentle with yourself on that day, but know, just like everything else that we have been through, that you will be able to survive it.

((HUGS))

angelsnight · June 2013

I'll be thinking of you on Thursday, big hugs and I hope you feel better once it has passed. Are you doing anything special that day? I'm taking mine off work and I hope MH will too. Just make sure to be good to yourself, anything to make the day easier.

Noethola · June 2013

Big ((hugs)) to you. For me, the days leading up to her EDD were much worse than the actual day. I hope that you are able to celebrate the life she had and the time you were together. Do whatever you have to do to get through the day.

JessicaG220 · June 2013

Thanks, girls. We are going to the cemetery and we'll bring some flowers and release balloons for her. You are right. I think the days before are worse than the actual day. I hate that April 17 and June 27 will forever be bad days. Thank you all again for your support!!!!

shandorfml2 · June 2013

Thinking of you and lots of hugs...I agree with wishing time away....I wished spring away, and I actually wish summer away to so I can get closer to getting KU (Just want to fast forward until that happens). In time it will get easier, but you will probably always have sadness. (((((hugs)))))

SoonaBailey · June 2013

sending TandP your way. I understand how you feel and I am soo sorry! I don't know if this will help at all but for me it made it easier to know the worst was behind me. nothing I went through, including LandD or lisy's due date were as hard as the day I found out I lost her... also, try doing something for the memory of your beautiful little angel... that always helps me

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