TTC for 7 months

Acandrews3 · June 2013

My wife and I have been ttc for 7 months and she is losing her mind. She has jumped to the conclusion that we can't have kids and says she doesn't see the point in being married. I hope this is just the stress talking but her comments have really hurt me. I couldn't imagine not being with my wife, kids or no kids.

We have an appointment with a fertility specialist next week and hopefully we can get some answers.

I have had two SA tests. The first was done at a hospital lab and reported somewhat low morphology of 41 normal range was 70100. Second test was done by urologist but he did not test morphology and was not concerned about first test. My count was 21/ml 84 mil total and my motility was 96.

My wife has completely convinced herself she can't get pregnant. Any advice?

ksgsmu · June 2013

sorry - no advice other than educate yourselves as much as possible and wait for your RE appointment. Make sure you have a list of questions you want to ask the DR. and bring a notebook to write down all the info you will get. hopefully after your RE appointment she will feel much better.

You might also want to consult a marriage therapist or minister as her comments seem extreme. Trying to get pregnant is extremely stressful. It can bring you closer to your partner or further apart. I would address this immediately before you proceed with even more stressful fertility treatments.

Good luck

NJHopeful · June 2013

I can tell you that TTC does drive you crazy, but I feel like she is being a little extreme. Your counts seem fine, so maybe she is just resentful because she thinks its her. Marriage is NOT all about having children. It's so much more then that. Going to a RE at 7 months seems a little premature to me? Maybe seek a professional to help with your realtionship. So sorry you have to be here. Good luck!

Acandrews3 · June 2013

Thanks for the advice everyone. My morphology was 41 normal or 59 abnormal. I know the scale they are using doesn't match up with WHO or Kruger standards. My urologist said the lab I first went to is horrible and he gets several patients a month with the same types of results.

Acandrews3 · June 2013

I forgot to mention my wife and I are both 29.

monimu13 · June 2013

jforsythia:
Acandrews3:
I forgot to mention my wife and I are both 29.
29 and it's only been 7 months? Does she have any reason to believe conceiving is going to be a struggle (prior miscarriages, suspected PCOS/other issues, genetic issues)? It can take a healthy couple up to a full year.

This.

vpine · June 2013

I understand, I've made similar comments before ("I don't see myself being married forever if child-less) but it's out of frustration of not being able to conceive. It can be stressful but your wife should know there's only 20% chance of conceiving each month and it can take up to 12 months or longer of having sex during fertile window to conceive. When you reach the 12 months, your wife should start the fertility testing with RE (blood tests, ultrasound, HSG) and go from there.

chickyclg · June 2013

I would say your morphology is good, and the other test are great. I hope your testing goes well, and it answers some questions. I know before my husband and I received our diagnosis I drove myself crazy, and had the same conversations with him. Having your husband stand by your side is important during this journey, you are her biggest support system. I can't tell you how many meltdowns that my husband has helped me through.

ashesinmo · June 2013

Going insane is pretty much normal from what I understand. My husband and I have been TTC for 2 years and I had a low point where I thought I would never get pregnant so after talking to some people I found a RE and an adoption agency to cover everything. Still not pregnant and getting close to year 3 TTC but I have hope. If I can't have myown my husband and I will be adopting in the next 6 months. I really think going through the adoption process, and becoming a foster parent has helped me a lot. but Good Luck! I hope all goes well and she can get some peice of mind.

mfarmer0811 · June 2013

First, you should tell your wife to breathe! It's only been 7 months, like other posters have said, it can take a healthy couple a year to conceive!

If she is saying already she doesn't want to be married if she can't have kids, and she doesn't even know if she can or not, I would highly recommend some counseling!

GermanGirl2007 · June 2013

I agree that TTC can be stressful, but I do think that it is premature to be worrying too much at 7 months - especially to be having as extreme of a reaction as your wife seems to be having. That doesn't seem healthy and it certainly sounds harsh. I would be incredibly hurt and upset. As everyone else mentioned, it is completely normal for it to take up to a year. (Although, I understand that doesn't make it easy!)

Also, you mentioned that you were seeing a "fertility specialist", if it is an OB, I would continue trying for a few months until you hit a year, and then get in to see an RE, who is specifically trained to help women get pregnant. OB's are notorious for not running all of the proper tests or doing the correct monitoring.

By all means too, feel free to stick around and learn a bit from the board. We've all been around the block with testing and treatment and can help with information and personal experience. Good luck to you!

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