Who is watching older children while you're in the hospital?

lalamakita · June 2013

For mobile Bumpers - Who is watching older children while you're in the hospital?

I'm having #3 and we need to come up with a plan about who watches our two older kids (5 and 7) while we're in the hospital. We don't have any local family and our wonderful reliable babysitter just moved out of the area to get married. So I think I might ask a friend whose daughter goes to school with my two kids.

She's always been wonderful with my kids and asks to watch them regularly so I can rest or get stuff done - she stays at home with her 6 year old, so (from how I see her life) she's pretty open and flexible. But she's still just a mom from our preschool (not a life long friend)

I'll set up our guest room for her, so it's nice to stay and of course her daughter can come for sleep over too if that makes it easier or more fun. But of course I don't know when I'll go into labor and that I might need to call in the middle of the night. So I can see that this wouldn't be all that appealing either. I can't decide if this is too much to ask.

My mom will be flying in "on the first flight out" after the birth from across the country but I can't ask her to come early to wait for the baby, just so she can watch the kids.

But my plan B is so much more harder - busting my rear to find a new sitter (ASAP) who I'll feel comfortable enough with to let her stay over night for maybe two days. Not sure of other options at this point. It's making a home birth sound like a good idea.

Any thoughts on asking a friend to be available? Or other ideas?

BelhurstBride · June 2013

Ask her, now. The worst that can happen is that she'll say no.

I had a friend ask me to watch her (then) 18 month old; he stayed the night here. I'd ask her/ let her decide what's easier for her- her house or yours.

AmeliaKris · June 2013

Nanny agencies provide drop in nannies but probably not on call. A mommy friend or neighbor is probably your best bet. However, I would definitely offer to pay something. They will probably refuse...in which case a spa appointment with you watching her daughter later is a good thank you gift. Good luck!

Mom2boys85 · June 2013

I'm so glad you asked this! I was about to ask almost the same question... I was going to ask my dr. Because if I am not mistaken...some hospitals have playrooms for the older siblings that have nurses/caretakers watching over them. DH and I also don't have any family here. My mom is planning on coming down but the drive is 5 hrs unless she prefers to fly. My babysitter for my son actually offered to watch him at any hour of the night or day which will be a godsend if I find out my son won't be able to go to the hospital, as I really wanted him to be there. Not in the room of course. And he, really is counting on being able to go to the hospital as well

WashingtonQueen · June 2013

I had to put out an add for an on-call babysitter for my kids. Family is not an option so it is what it is. I'll tell you it was really hard to find someone that was willing to watch the kids in my own home but, after about a month of looking I found someone. The babysitter I hired will be coming over a few times between now and labor so the kids can get use to him (yes we hired a him) and he can learn the routine.

I did mention to DH at one point that it would be so much easier to have a home birth given our kid situation but, that was really not a viable solution.

.

Rachey1082 · June 2013

AmeliaKris:
Nanny agencies provide drop in nannies but probably not on call. A mommy friend or neighbor is probably your best bet. However, I would definitely offer to pay something. They will probably refuse...in which case a spa appointment with you watching her daughter later is a good thank you gift. Good luck!

I like this idea.

We have both of our families in town. We haven't worked out the details yet. Last time my mom stayed with DS1 while I labored overnight. Then DH picked him up and took him home for the night that I was resting in the hospital. His mom took him the following day so he could come back to the hospital with the baby and I.

kmichln · June 2013

The plan right now is either my sister or my mom, which ever one is available. Between them, DS1 would probably go back and forth. After DS2 is born, DH will probably go home at night so DS1 can sleep in his own bed.

BlueJewelM · June 2013

All family is 5 hour drive away. But MIL will be headed over as soon as I go into labor. I will try to labor at home as long as I can and then go in. I do have one brother closeby, but he works a lot, so hoping he can stay with DS until she gets here. Also I have a few friends to help me out as well.

No Longer ERL · June 2013

The plan is for DS to stay with MIL. DH won't stay with ne at night after delivery. Unless I deliver in the middle of the night.

MrsNyberg09 · June 2013

My parents will have ds while I'm in the hospital.

vintageutopia · June 2013

I would ask your friend too. I know I would be more than happy to do it for a friend of mine.

With that said, my parents will be watching my kids, as they live close by.

NiksMama · June 2013

My parents are driving down a week early to help with DS when I go into labor. If I go earlier than that, we'll take him to a friend's house.

DH will only stay at the hospital for the first day, then sleep at home with DS. They'll visit us during the day.

lalamakita · June 2013

Thanks, I'll just ask her and see what she says. I will definitely give her a nice gift, too. And maybe it'll work out that we won't be laboring overnight and my DH can go home for the kids at night. I just won't know till then

Thanks ladies for all your ideas!

rissa06 · June 2013

My friend/neighbor are going to come over in the middle of the night... And then dd is going to her best friend's house for a sleep over and my son is gong to her godmothers house.

edenrivers · June 2013

I'm in the same boat, no family here where we live. We just have one son, 3, and I have a girlfriend that will come over when we have to go to the hospital. My family is a six-hour car ride away, so hopefully she won't have to stay long.

I also have a back-up mom friend just in case. But she has two little ones of her own, so I know it'll be tougher for her to do.

Worst case, we'll bring DS with us until my mom or someone else can be available to watch him.

wifeyvana · June 2013

We're having a home birth, but we're still not going to have my 3 year old running around the house (at least during the late labor stage). We're in your same boat with no family in the area, so we'll be sending our kiddo over to a neighbors house until my parents can drive into town (it's a 7 hour drive) and take over. I'm hoping to go into labor after bedtime so he'll just sleep in his own bed and wake up to a new sibling lol.

lalamakita · June 2013

Update to my original post. She said yes! And sounds thrilled to help. So great to have good friends and lotsa help. I just hope I don't need to rely on her for all that long.

Thanks ladies!

kcox123 · June 2013

Our nearest family is 1.5 hours away. So since preg with #2 we have had an arrangement with a good friend of ours. She has three kids of her own slightly older than ours. She loves 5 min from us. She will (and has) come over in the middle of the night to stay with our older kids if we need to head to the hospital. She can sleep in our guest bed if needed. The one time we had to do this/take her up on it, baby came within 1.5 hours of us calling her at about midnight so DH was able to go relieve her around 6:30am, get our older girls up and ready for daycare, drop them off and then return to me and baby. Big sisters came to meet baby after "school" that evening.

We do use full-time daycare/summer camp/school during the week, so we just have to make plans for night-time or weekend baby arrivals...

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