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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
CIO
Hey ladies,
I need some help with CIO (no judgement please if this is not your method of choice).
My son is almost 8 months old and he has been a terrible sleeper since day one.
I got in the terrible habit of co-sleeping with him because I was too exhausted to keep getting up every hour.
We have been trying CIO since monday. He is still getting up 3-5 times a night.
How long did it take your child to adjust to sleeping on their own and self soothing?
I am at my wits end. I am ready to give up.
Our routine is sleeper, bottle, story, and I put him down awake. I let him cry no longer than 20 minutes. If it goes on that long then I go in to him and rub his head and reassure him and then leave. But the crying gets worse once I leave.
Most of the time he can put himself down after 5-10 but he always wakes up.
Any advice or info is greatly appreciated!
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Re: CIO
Do you think it is getting better? If so just be consistent with it & you will get there. It took us a long time. It got better slowly but I want to say it took is 2-3 weeks to get to waking once a night. Naps were awful & they are much better now too. I had some nights after a few days that she would cry for 45 minutes so I know how you feel. Same thing with crying worse when I would leave her. They are just pissed!
BFP 7/2009 m/c
BFP 9/2009 m/c
Clomid IUI 12/2010, 1/2011, 2/2011 All BFN
IVF #1 6/2011 BFN, no frosties
IVF #2 2/2012 BFP
DD born 10/2012
IVF # 3 11/3/13 Canceled after retrieval d/t severe OHSS, 3 frosties
I read the Ferber booked and followed the instructions in it. I did this when DS was 6 months old, transitioning out of swaddle + from RnP to crib. I followed the instructions in the book to the minute (there is a chart in it on when to re-enter the nursery and what to do), and it worked for us in about 3 nights.
He's never cried more than 15 minutes, but I've read of other babies that do.
We started a modified CIO at 4 months per the direction of our pedi because LO was waking every 30 minutes. It was awful. He was overtired, we were overtired. While I can't say it will work for you, I can share what we did/do, and I just know it made a huge difference for us.
Bedtime is early--feeding/bed/bath routine starts at 6pm here.
LO gets bottle, then a solid.
Directly into bath (mostly to scrub off the solid food). ;-)
Lotion, PJs.
Bottle(s), then into crib with pacifier and white noise.
What we do for the CIO portion:
Allow 5 minutes of babbling/fussing - check, rub, patting.
Allow 7 more minutes fussing/crying - check, rub, patting.
Allow 10 more minutes fussing/crying - check, rub, patting.
I've never had to go more than those 3 stages before LO gives up the fight. He is super stubborn (just like mom and dad) and we knew he'd fight going to bed. We're finally now at a point where he fusses for maximum 5 minutes and then goes to bed. But getting to that point took a LONG time.
He sleeps from roughly 7:30/8pm to 12/1/2am, then bottle(s), then back to bed until about 6am. Occasionally we'll have a second wake up, but now that's rare.
Best wishes!
Just an FYI; co sleeping (or bedsharing) is not a "bad habit" and I'm insulted that you use that term. There have been studies that it is actually perfectly healthy, and safer in regards to SIDS.
As far as the CIO, I know my son's cries from: "oh my gosh, I am so sad and I want my mommy" or "I'm actually hungry/wet/poopy" apart from what is just a "fit" (which is him just fighting his sleep, and the only thing that will make him fall asleep is crying for a few minutes. I have tried holding him, but he just squirms and kicks, and it takes way long to try to put him to sleep that way, than it is to just let him CIO).
Actually sounds like you are making a little progress. Keep it up!
I recommend reading the Ferber book, too.
We sleep trained at 6 months and it only took her a few days. But I think it gets tougher when they are older, have more habits to change, and are more aware of their surroundings. Do you do the same thing when he wakes up at night? Ferber has you work up to letting him cry for I think 25 minutes before going in-- my LO figured out how to fall back asleep in that window.
Also, only try sleep training if he is healtlhy and not teething-- if he's in the middle of that, I'd wait until that is over...
And can you have your husband or partner go in for the middle of the night checks? that made a huge difference for us because it was a change in habit and LO knew to go right back to sleep if daddy came in... Whereas if I came in she was expecting to be picked up and rocked etc and would get upset if that didn't happen.
https://www.troublesometots.com/cryitout/