Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
cynthiasun79
member
Re: Downs
First - I'm really sorry about this situation. I'm a little behind you on testing but even if (and hopefully it is!) everything is fine, this is just such a scary and emotional time.
I just took a Harmony (same as Matern21) test last week which has a 99% detection rate. It takes up to 2 weeks to get results. For me, as I understand it the Nuchal/blood has 85% detection rate and CVS has 100%. So this new Harmony test allows me to get very high accuracy without the invasive procedure.
Personally, if I had that news I would do Harmony and if results were the same I would do CVS or amnio (depending on timing)- but as PP mentioned- that's just my own personal decision.
I would probably recommend you do Harmony/Matern21 immediately, plus your NT scan. It will get you much more certainty.
ETA: I just noticed there is a board called "Special Needs" - didn't check it out but wonder if you may get some great info on raising a child with DS
My dr is not concerned, he is optimistic. They aren't trying to prevent liability, they simply want to provide me with as much information as they can. The level 2 ultrasound looks for soft markers which would indicate a risk, but it still isn't a diagnosis. Nobody would choose a disability for their child but I have a friend who has a son with downs and he is the most lovely, happy child. If you are eventually diagnosed with a downs baby I would highly encourage you to talk to someone who has raised a child with this disability. But like I stated previously, they have simply given you a risk assessment at this point so try not to let your fears run away with you.
When pregnant with my DS, our NT result was a 1:78 risk for Downs. I proceeded with an amnio at 17 weeks; no Downs or Trisomy 13, 18.
I'm 40 and 12 weeks pregnant with LO#2. My NT came back low risk (surprisingly) this time but I've done the blood draw from the MaterniT21.
I believe** (**not certain) the MaterniT21 is currently, while NOT 100% accurate, the most accurate of the non-invasive testing. There is a slightly newer test, the Panorama, that claims greater accuracy.
Our genetic counselor quoted the MaterniT21 as being 99% accurate for detection of Downs and somewhat less so for Trisomy 13 & 18.
Only a chromosomal sample by CVS or amnio would be conclusive.
I hope all will be well with your pregnancy and your baby! I was so worried with DS and everything turned out fine.
"5.01.09"
This is exactly how we felt and opted for amnio to be sure. We did look into doing M21 or Harmony and there is still some chance that you would get a false negative.
I was 1:37 for chromosomal issues because of my age, we did the Harmony blood test and it came back negative for all.
Suggest looking into these types of blood tests as they are non-invasive and have better accuracy than quad screening/NT screening which only give you odds.
Remember, the odds are still very good that your baby is normal.
IF your mat21/harmony, etc. comes back positive, remember that false positives are rare but can happen, so you might want to consider amnio at that point if you want to know for sure.
I hope everything is ok
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
With my first my NT was 1:23 for downs. I was miserable. The worst three weeks of my life. During that time I looked up everything I could find on having a baby with downs wanted to be a prepared as I could. I had to wait for the amino until i was 15/16 weeks (dont remember) than it was another two weeks after that. All said and done my son did not have downs. Take a breath and know that the NT scans are very accurate if it is negative for downs but have a very high false positive for having downs. Stay as calm as possible and do the next round of testing.
I am actually debating taking this test again. I'm five years older and know the numbers can be worst. I'm leaning toward not taking it.
Keep in mind there is no 'positive' or 'negative' on NT scan results - all they can give you is odds. 1 in 100 means there is a 1% CHANCE that the baby has downs. The only way to know for SURE is to have Mat21 (or similar), CVS, or Amnio. The WORST odds you can get on NT (and I've never seen anyone get this) is 1:2, meaning 50/50 odds. But keep in mind that even 1:5000 means there is still a chance, it's not 'negative'.
BFP#1 1/31/12, EDD 10/6/12 Harrison Gray born sleeping @ 18w6d. You changed our lives little guy.
BFP#2 EDD 10/29/13, C/P 2/25/13, Bye little Ish, we barely got to know you.
BFP#3 EDD 12/21/13, Baby Boots born 11/23/13 My rainbow baby!
January PAL Siggy Challenge: Good Advice
Due to my age, before any tests were done, my odds were 1:81. My nt scan was good at 1.9 and no soft markers, but they didn't change my odds. However, I did opt for the Harmony test that gave me odds of less than 1:10,000. The Harmony test never said negative or positive, but I'll take the odds that I got without doing invasive testing.
My risk after nt and blood work was 1:20 with a normal nt scan. We did materniti 21 and came back positive. We did not do a amnio due to risk of miscarriage. We opted to get a fetal echo and if bad would have probably terminated since I would never want to put a child through multiple heart surgeries. Thank goodness the echo came back completely normal! Our baby did have duodenal atresia and had surgery at 5 days old and we spent 3 weeks in the NICU.
Now we are home and he brings me more joy than I could ever put into words! He is completely healthy and at this point shows no developmental delays. Granted he is only just over 2 months so that may not last as he gets older.
We spoke to many parents of children with down syndrome and did a lot of research. My best advice is do the maternity 21 first and then go from there.
Also baby center has a wonderful down syndrome community if you are looking to get more perspectives.
You are welcome to PM me if you want.