Furious & heartbroken

olson2903 · June 2013

Didn't think I was going to take our last IUI so hard... Today was IUI number 4. Last night I had a melt down knowing this was our last attempt before we move on to crazy expensive IVF that wont be possible for at least a year. Well I pulled myself together and went there this morning. I left balling in the hallway. I couldn't leave fast enough! Some lady I have never worked with was there, and I explained the difficulty with my cervix. I mentioned she will have to use the smallest catheter, then probe around with some instrument to help find my cervix, and they also use u/s guidance. After 15 minutes of doing none of these things, in my opinion SHE GAVE UP! She said the catheter just wont go in so we are using the "cupping method". WTF is that you ask, I will tell you because google doesnt even know! Basically she "suctioned" a small cup to my cervix attached to a catheter and inserted the sperm through that into the cup. Now I leave this cup inside for 6 hours then pull it out. She said the sperm just have to swim through my cervix... Except my cervix scars closed and thats why we are doing IUI's, to by pass the cervix you dumb f***ing moron!!!

Knowing my husbands morphology is terrible, I had little hope that this cycle would work. But they reassured me all it takes is one normal sperm. Now, that one normal sperm will probably never have the opportunity to get to the egg... I was speechless. I couldn't even talk for the fear of crying. I practically ran out of the office and started crying in the elevator. I knew being its a Saturday that its only NP's that do the IUI, but last cycle I had no problem with just the NP.

I feel like our last IUI is a total bust...

katib77 · June 2013

That really sucks that she didnt listen and try everything she could to do a proper IUI. i'd call your RE on Mon and complain. See if they agree to do another IUI at a discounted rate since this happened. Cant hurt to ask.

Hugs

olson2903 · June 2013

It was done at 28 hours. And I agree, why the on-call wasnt called is beyond me! And of course, I didn't mention that idea because I was kind of in shock, I wasn't thinking clearly... I feel bad so I dont want to, but I have been contemplating calling the after hours line and getting a hold of the on call doctor myself. Explain the situation and see if they would want to do another one tomorrow, but I fear that it will be to late by then. I just dont know what to do at this point. I feel like i've already excepted the defeat.

Olive925 · June 2013

Yes, I would definitely complain. This is ridiculous!

PrdUSMCWyf · June 2013

Rumbera28:
olson2903:
It was done at 28 hours. And I agree, why the on-call wasnt called is beyond me! And of course, I didn't mention that idea because I was kind of in shock, I wasn't thinking clearly... I feel bad so I dont want to, but I have been contemplating calling the after hours line and getting a hold of the on call doctor myself. Explain the situation and see if they would want to do another one tomorrow, but I fear that it will be to late by then. I just dont know what to do at this point. I feel like i've already excepted the defeat.
Even if you don't do anything this cycle, please don't accept defeat. It is not fair for some RN to switch up the plan and to make seriously final decisions about you and your fertility. I can't tell you what to do, but I do think it's a very good idea to call and demand to talk to an RE right now.

mmb248 · June 2013

Rumbera28:
olson2903:
It was done at 28 hours. And I agree, why the on-call wasnt called is beyond me! And of course, I didn't mention that idea because I was kind of in shock, I wasn't thinking clearly... I feel bad so I dont want to, but I have been contemplating calling the after hours line and getting a hold of the on call doctor myself. Explain the situation and see if they would want to do another one tomorrow, but I fear that it will be to late by then. I just dont know what to do at this point. I feel like i've already excepted the defeat.
Even if you don't do anything this cycle, please don't accept defeat. It is not fair for some RN to switch up the plan and to make seriously final decisions about you and your fertility. I can't tell you what to do, but I do think it's a very good idea to call and demand to talk to an RE right now.

This. I would definitely ask to speak to an RE immediately. I'm furious for you!

ErinSays · June 2013

What a terrible experience! She sounds like a truly awful person. I am so sorry - please call and relay your experience to everyone superior to her. She should not be in the position she is in, period.

((HUGS)) for you, throat punches for her.

Twinkie0612 · June 2013

katib77:
That really sucks that she didnt listen and try everything she could to do a proper IUI. i'd call your RE on Mon and complain. See if they agree to do another IUI at a discounted rate since this happened. Cant hurt to ask. Hugs

I agree with Kati. If I went in for an IUI and they didn't do everything they could to make that happen, I would definitely complain.

sueann911 · June 2013

mmb248:
Rumbera28:
olson2903:
It was done at 28 hours. And I agree, why the on-call wasnt called is beyond me! And of course, I didn't mention that idea because I was kind of in shock, I wasn't thinking clearly... I feel bad so I dont want to, but I have been contemplating calling the after hours line and getting a hold of the on call doctor myself. Explain the situation and see if they would want to do another one tomorrow, but I fear that it will be to late by then. I just dont know what to do at this point. I feel like i've already excepted the defeat.
Even if you don't do anything this cycle, please don't accept defeat.  It is not fair for some RN to switch up the plan and to make seriously final decisions about you and your fertility.   I can't tell you what to do, but I do think it's a very good idea to call and demand to talk to an RE right now.
This.  I would definitely ask to speak to an RE immediately.  I'm furious for you!

THIS!!!

She should have called someone. That's not even IUI so try better not charge you for it. Plus, they need to consider the loss of the meds that you used this cycle because this incompetent boob didn't want to do it the right way! I'm so pissed for you.

Hugs!! I know you are so mad and you have every right to be. Please let us know what happens. I would be calling immediately if I were you!

SweetTea420 · June 2013

OMG that's horrible! I would definitely call your RE to complain and demand a repeat. By definition you didn't get an IUI, because you were not inseminated in your uterus. That's really not fair and definitely not what you signed up for! Sorry you had to go through this

PrdUSMCWyf · June 2013

PrdUSMCWyf:
Rumbera28:
olson2903:
It was done at 28 hours. And I agree, why the on-call wasnt called is beyond me! And of course, I didn't mention that idea because I was kind of in shock, I wasn't thinking clearly... I feel bad so I dont want to, but I have been contemplating calling the after hours line and getting a hold of the on call doctor myself. Explain the situation and see if they would want to do another one tomorrow, but I fear that it will be to late by then. I just dont know what to do at this point. I feel like i've already excepted the defeat.
Even if you don't do anything this cycle, please don't accept defeat. It is not fair for some RN to switch up the plan and to make seriously final decisions about you and your fertility. I can't tell you what to do, but I do think it's a very good idea to call and demand to talk to an RE right now.

(Sorry for the second post. My phone sent the message before I typed anything.)

I agree with not accepting defeat. I would demand to talk to your RE as well. So sorry for having to go through all of that.

RunCC37 · June 2013

I'm so sorry you had that awful experience. I agree with everyone above: you should call!!!

rox825 · June 2013

I'm sorry, that sounds terrible! I agree with the others, I would call ASAP and complain and make sure that they do another IUI for you next month, on the house if your insurance won't cover it. And make sure they don't code it as IUI on the insurance bill. Maybe even call insurance and explain so they don't count it or reimburse as an IUI.

thebeefamily · June 2013

Call and complain. I would also demand a full refund that includes the cost of medications or a free IUI cycle with ultrasounds included.

What the nurse performed on you is an ICI (Intracervical Insemination) and it's NOT the same as an IUI. As a matter of fact since the sperm were washed for IUI it's highly likely that they won't even make it to the fallopian tubes because they've been stripped of the seminal fluid which causes the sperm to die faster.

I'm sorry this happened to you.

mmhopeful · June 2013

I'm sorry........

caroeliz02 · June 2013

thebeefamily:
Call and complain. I would also demand a full refund that includes the cost of medications or a free IUI cycle with ultrasounds included.
What the nurse performed on you is an ICI (Intracervical Insemination) and it's NOT the same as an IUI. As a matter of fact since the sperm were washed for IUI it's highly likely that they won't even make it to the fallopian tubes because they've been stripped of the seminal fluid which causes the sperm to die faster.
I'm sorry this happened to you.

Exactly this!! I am so sorry this happened to you. Your RE should definitely be made aware and they should make this right!!!!

katekat8721 · June 2013

PrdUSMCWyf:
Rumbera28:
olson2903:
It was done at 28 hours. And I agree, why the on-call wasnt called is beyond me! And of course, I didn't mention that idea because I was kind of in shock, I wasn't thinking clearly... I feel bad so I dont want to, but I have been contemplating calling the after hours line and getting a hold of the on call doctor myself. Explain the situation and see if they would want to do another one tomorrow, but I fear that it will be to late by then. I just dont know what to do at this point. I feel like i've already excepted the defeat.
Even if you don't do anything this cycle, please don't accept defeat. It is not fair for some RN to switch up the plan and to make seriously final decisions about you and your fertility. I can't tell you what to do, but I do think it's a very good idea to call and demand to talk to an RE right now.

Definitely. I wouldn't count this as IUI #4. She did some weird cupping thing, I don't think it should count before moving on to IVF. So sorry this happened to you and fingers crossed that next time will work out better.

Akiesha · June 2013

That is terrible, I am sorry you had to deal with that idiot. I would definatley talk to them and see if you can get money back or another one for free. Don't give up yet, let us know what you decide to do.

Spookster · June 2013

Oh gosh! I am so sorry you had to deal with that dolt. I agree with PP I would get a hold of your RE asap. There is no excuse for your terrible experience and how unprofessional. I would make a formal complaint on the witch.

Toriables · June 2013

Omg, I thought our last IUI appt went bad. Yours is 10 times worse. I am so sorry that happened to you! FX that one little one makes it to the egg!

NYCGal276 · June 2013

I know that this is probably the last thing on your mind, but I would ask for your money back. You didn't pay for "cupping," you paid for an IUI. I don't know if you used injectables or orals, but either way it's money that can be put towards your IVF fund. That's ridiculous.

On a different note - I'm sorry you had that terrible experience. As if IF isn't stressful enough. Sheesh.

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