FFFC

Ilumine · June 2013

I have not worn my wedding and engagement ring in 48 hours and probably won't put it back on until right before I fly out.

DH is being a *** lately.

Snide comments about spending his money.

Being upset that I am visiting my parents - EVEN THOUGH this is not a vacation but a visit that includes my grandmother who was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in December, my siblings whom I have only seen once in the last 5 years and my niece/nephew whom I have only met ONCE. - EVEN THOUGH he gave me his OK to do so. EVEN THOUGH my parents are helping us pay for the tickets

DIssmissing and even countering my parenting decisions with DD (not SS, but DD) because HE thinks I am being too tough on DD (hello, if we had been this "tough" on SS we might not have had DFS at our door).

Nitpicking the fact that I have not done some larger house hold chores - even though I explained that I cannot paint a full room when I have a 4yo running around. I even gave him a demonstration a couple weekends ago and he still doesnt get it (even with the spilled paint).

And that we have not had sex in almost 2 months.

I am just not feeling the wedding band right now.

HisChamaoleGirl · June 2013

I'm sorry he's being so douchey. I don't even like that word, but in this case I think its appropriate. I totally get not wanting to wear the band.

I took mine off around the same time my fingers starting swelling and when DH did something not so great. I haven't put them back on and I'm blaming the pregnancy when I know that is part of it, but not all of the reason.

fellesferie · June 2013

Sorry, Illumine. I hope you have a nice trip and he manages to pull his head out of his butt while you're gone.

Here's mine-

I'm completely pissed at just about everyone right now.

I'm irritated at the kids because they're kids. I'm irritated at MH because sometimes his communication sucks rocks (and last night was one of those times).

I'm irritated at my parents because they drove 30 minutes to come to DS's swim meet last night and then up and left (without saying a word) like 2 minutes before his last event.

I'm irritated with our realtor for blowing smoke up my skirt about how fast our house would sell. It's been over a month.

I'm irritated with DS's 2nd grade teacher because she tried to retain him last year, but in the last month he has been out of school I have covered 9 weeks of 3rd grade math with him with no problem.

I'm irritated with the dog because she has a TERRIBLE habit of running into DD's room at night, jumping on her bed and stealing her stuffed bunny. It wakes DD and scares the beejesus out of her.

I'm irritated with myself because I'm totally unmotivated to lose the last 10 lbs I need to lose. I'm irritated that between swim, taekwondo (for DS & DH), DH being on call for work, and obedience/protection training for the dog there is no time for my stuff. Soon DD will start extracurricular stuff, and there will (somehow) be even less time. The stuff I want to do is consistently backburnered, and I let it happen.

Cheerilee · June 2013

We are going back to our home state this week. We haven't heard from BM in over 2 months other than when DH sent her a text to say SS's surgery went well (if she cared). Her reply was, "Good. How's your DD?" DH isn't planning on telling her we are back in town unless she calls.

When we were home over Christmas, we set up six different times for her to see SS - even driving him to her. She canceled every time - even after we'd driven him to the next town where she lives. My favorite excuse was, "I'm celebrating Christmas with my family tonight so can't see him." Is SS not your family as your son...

If she doesn't see him while we're home, it will be a full year. I'm not pushing DH to contact her about our visit.

2chatter · June 2013

I am unspeakably nervous about the grad party for SS. It is a joint party with SIL and nephew. I know this means we should be doing a ton of planning and spending at this point, but frankly I am just not into it as I am not convinced SS will even show up. So I am just doing nothing. DH should take the lead and has not because he feels the same way. Layer in that now we will have all 5 kids when the skids are with us overnight for the first time this year - and I am super tense. I really try to shelter my girls from the drama/disrespect of the skids, and that will now not be possible. Obviously, I expect the skids to either not show or to be less than polite. UGH.

twister22 · June 2013

I am sick and tired of living in a two bedroom, one bathroom apartment. I want a house. And I want DH to get an awesome job. And I want to go back to being a SAHM. I miss my kids. I hate working. I count the hours until I can be with the kids. I love my mom to pieces, but I feel like she's raising them and not me. She's basically a SAHG. I hate that I'll miss firsts with DD and she'll get to see them. I just want to quit my job. I've called off sick the past three days, and even though being sick sucks, I've loved being home with the kids.

Again, I want a house. I want my dream house. I want a 5 bedroom, 3.5 bathroom house with an upstairs laundry room and a huge kitchen with an island and lots of counter space and a walk-in pantry and a finished basement and a huge fenced in backyard with a trampoline and swing set for the kids. Oh, and let's throw in a pool. And while I'm dreaming, a pool boy who does all the crap with the pool.

I just want to win the lottery. Although, you have to play to win...

Okay, I need to appreciate the wonderful things I already have and not 'covet my neighbor.' So much easier said than done...

Alohalove · June 2013

I want more alone time with my baby. I resent that my time has to be split so often because the SKs' mother only get them 4 days a month. I want her to have them half the time. My daughter is my only child and I hate that she doesn't get the benefits of that.

Nineoceans · June 2013

I saw BM for the first time in like a month and she looks horrrrrrrrible. Like she looks like she's either extremely bad into drugs or late stage anorexia. I struggle to imagine people at SS's school and people in the community look at her and are not immediately horrified. Wtf BM.

CFjo2010 · June 2013

Tomorrow I start a huge dental work schedule (I'm talking periodontal gum work, root canal, wisdom teeth extraction... Go big or go home, right?) and I'll be on all kinds of pain meds and antibiotics. Which means I can no longer nurse PJ. I don't want to pump and dump for the next month or so to maintain my supply, so I started weaning this week. And I am thrilled. I've spent the last 6 months monitoring everything I eat and drink, scheduling my life around nursing and pumping. And while I don't really want to pay for all this dental crap and wish I didn't have to do it, I'm secretly happy that I now have a valid excuse to stop nursing.

ambrvan · June 2013

I REALLY want to quit work and go back to school full time. Part of me secretly feels like it's owed to me. I did let DH go to school without working. I have busted my butt to support us while he went to school. And now that he is waiting to start his job, my patience is wearing thin. It's not his fault. But it is taking so much longer than expected.

DH always said he would let me go to school when he was done, but I am also wanting to pay off some debt and old student loans so we can qualify for a mortgage. DH is totally ok with continuing to rent right now, but I want a house. I want to be ready to apply for a pre approved mortgage exactly one year from when DH starts working.

So I guess I want everything... but I can't have it all, and it kind of bumms me out...

hopanka · June 2013

ambrvan:
I REALLY want to quit work and go back to school full time. Part of me secretly feels like it's owed to me. I did let DH go to school without working. I have busted my butt to support us while he went to school. And now that he is waiting to start his job, my patience is wearing thin. It's not his fault. But it is taking so much longer than expected. DH always said he would let me go to school when he was done, but I am also wanting to pay off some debt and old student loans so we can qualify for a mortgage. DH is totally ok with continuing to rent right now, but I want a house. I want to be ready to apply for a pre approved mortgage exactly one year from when DH starts working. So I guess I want everything... but I can't have it all, and it kind of bumms me out...

I think you should do it! It could be all kinds of good for you...plus, the faster you get done with your degree, the faster you start making the big bucks! How long would your schooling take to complete, if you could load up on all the possible classes vs. only so many while you juggle work and family?

karatechrissy · June 2013

It's still Friday here for 4 minutes...

I'm annoyed at SIL. She is hell bent on spending an exorbitant amount of on her friends baby shower that is tomorrow. I know the friend and was invited, but we are barely acquaintances. SIL tried to get me to go in HALVES w her for the stroller/baby carrier combo that would have been almost 200.00 for each of us. I laughed at her and told her I really wasn't planning on spending more than 20.00 as I don't really know this girl except that she is her BFF. Then tried to get me to but 50.00 of art work for the baby room bc it coordinated well. I purchased one of the pieces for 23.00. That was it. SIL went back and purchased the other one and brought it to my house and said 'this is for you to bring to the shower tomorrow'. Uhhh... Ok. Whatever. I made a bunch of the decor for free for her though. But I'm just irritated bc she didn't get anything for my baby shower for DS and she purchased a target dress for dd for that shower. Here she has spent over 400.00 on this other girl and keep just spending!! She keeps saying 'well I love her!'. It has just put me in a pissy mood. I feel shafted. She keeps saying 'well she did xy and z for us and new baby'. Well I took care of her dogs and watch her baby when she needs. I helped teach her how to swaddle and answer hours worth of BFing questions. I'm like HELLO!! I'm annoyed. And I have to go to this damn shower tomorrow. Suck

Ilumine · June 2013

karatechrissy:
It's still Friday here for 4 minutes... I'm annoyed at SIL. She is hell bent on spending an exorbitant amount of on her friends baby shower that is tomorrow. I know the friend and was invited, but we are barely acquaintances. SIL tried to get me to go in HALVES w her for the stroller/baby carrier combo that would have been almost 200.00 for each of us. I laughed at her and told her I really wasn't planning on spending more than 20.00 as I don't really know this girl except that she is her BFF. Then tried to get me to but 50.00 of art work for the baby room bc it coordinated well. I purchased one of the pieces for 23.00. That was it. SIL went back and purchased the other one and brought it to my house and said 'this is for you to bring to the shower tomorrow'. Uhhh... Ok. Whatever. I made a bunch of the decor for free for her though. But I'm just irritated bc she didn't get anything for my baby shower for DS and she purchased a target dress for dd for that shower. Here she has spent over 400.00 on this other girl and keep just spending!! She keeps saying 'well I love her!'. It has just put me in a pissy mood. I feel shafted. She keeps saying 'well she did xy and z for us and new baby'. Well I took care of her dogs and watch her baby when she needs. I helped teach her how to swaddle and answer hours worth of BFing questions. I'm like HELLO!! I'm annoyed. And I have to go to this damn shower tomorrow. Suck

So stop doing these things for her.

It is not a Tit-for-Tat situation, but a very important life lesson - The Golden Rule.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

And while people will tell you that YOU would be breaking said rule, Jesus never said you were to continue to turn your cheek until you died. At least what my Rector has said, his parable was not fighting nasty with nasty.

You stepping back from the equation is not doing it to be nasty to her, not to retaliate towards her, but so save your feelings from continuing to be hurt.

Have your DH take over these things for his family and let it go.

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