What is easier?

Esteps · June 2013

The drs are going back and forth on sending me home for bedrest vs staying in hospital for bedrest. I desperately want to go home!! I am 27 weeks pregnant with what is being called a small recurring abruption.

My family and friends want me to stay in the hospital bc they don't think I'll actually sit still and do what I'm supposed to do at home. I know my husband wants me home bc with two young boys at home this is just a very stressful time.

I just don't know what I want the drs to say!! Is it easier to be on bedrest at home or hospital?? I know that's a ridiculous question, but if anyone has any insight that would be great. This has only been going on since Monday, but I'm just trying to get a grasp on this before this becomes my new normal.

Thanks for letting me vent...

aiche Umm Ayoub · June 2013

bed rest is stressful all around add young children to the mix and its more stressful. if sent home on bed rest you would basically be stuck in bed or on the couch depending on what type of bed rest you are ordered there is strict bed rest and modified bed rest modified means you can get up to get food and go to the bathroom but no lifting chores or picking up of young children

Esteps · June 2013

Thanks! I guess I'm trying to figure out what would be less stressful, me in the hospital only seeing my husband and boys once a day, if that. Or at home trying to stay still while being more involved. I've never had to do anything like this at all so this is all just new and scary!!

2have2hold · June 2013

When I was admitted, they said I could stay there until 32 weeks or continue my strict bed rest at home. For me, staying in the hospital would mean more monitoring and I'll adhere to the bed rest policies. BUT I just couldn't imagine being there for all those weeks especially when my doctor was okay with me going home and it didn't present an immediate danger to baby as long as I stuck to the instructions. I chose to go home and I'm doing pretty well. I'll admit I do a lot more than I would have been able to do if I were at the hospital, (ie move from one room to another, drive to my doctor's appts (fresh air!!), relax with my husband and occasionally fixing myself a quick breakfast. I limit my standing to no more than 10 minutes.

But our diagnoses are different and I don't have kids. I think this makes a huge difference. It's a tough decision; because you do not want to find yourself in a position regretting whatever decision you make. After all is said and done, it's not a matter of what is easier but what is best for you and baby. That's all there is to it. Ask yourself, what's best for baby?

Ok I'm rambling now Good luck!

ETA: I should add that the above advice is only if you're given the option to go home. If your doctors decide it's best for you to be in the hospital, I would listened to your doctors.

MrsCaseyK · June 2013

A lot depends on your support group. My house isn't perfect, but people come and make me lunch and vacuum and all sorts of amazing stuff. I've followed the rules VERY well. I can tell people almost exactly where stuff is and my husband and I can pay the bills together. A job that's usually mine. There were a few weeks that I considered asking for hbr due to living situations roommates, being 80 mikes from the hospital with contractions every night. But am glad I get to be with DH every evening and he has been immeasurable and phenomenal at helping me. I've been up no more than 30 minutes a day, which includes showers, toilet, and laps around the kitchen island, since this all started. It's up to you, but because our hospital is so far away, I'm thankful that everything worked out for me to stay home so I could see my support system every day. I hope you get insight and wisdom what will work best for you.

Don't go home if you're going to cheat is my advice.

Esteps · June 2013

Thanks ladies!!

CNYBride05 · June 2013

Until I felt "safe," I was uneasy about leaving the hospital. In your shoes, I'd probably opt to stay. There's no way you can be home and not overdo it with 2 kids. Why does your husband think you being home will be easier? Then he'll have 3 people to take care instead of just the 2 boys.

Not to scare you, but my friend had a partial abruption, pushed for discharge, went home and her water broke 4 days later. She was then back on HBR until induction at 34w. HBR is totally different from home - I've done/am doing both.

Hang in there!

Esteps · June 2013

I don't think it's that my husband wants me home, but he just knows I'm bummed out with all this. This is very new to both of us, my first 2 pregnancies were completely uneventful. It's just so frustrating bc they're calling it a partial abruption but they still don't see anything in the ultrasound and baby is doing amazing!!

NantucketSunset · June 2013

MrsCaseyK:
Don't go home if you're going to cheat is my advice.

This. CNYBride's advice is very good as well. I have a 3 year old and have done both home and hospital bedrest with this pregnancy. Hospital bedrest is harder, but safer, IMO. Hospital bedrest is emotionally very difficult, especially with small children at home, I'm not going to lie. It is hard to see them for only a limited amount of time each day. But you will not have to travel to Dr appts, and if you are likely to do more at home, it will prevent that. Maybe consider hospital bedrest until you are a little further along?

takmjs · June 2013

CNYBride05:
Until I felt "safe," I was uneasy about leaving the hospital. In your shoes, I'd probably opt to stay. There's no way you can be home and not overdo it with 2 kids. Why does your husband think you being home will be easier? Then he'll have 3 people to take care instead of just the 2 boys.

I agree with this. I know emotions change while you're in the hospital, which my doctor said is understandable but kinda funny to see: At first, I was crushed I had to have hospital bed rest (woke up soaked in blood on my 4th day of home bed rest and had to rush to the hospital 90 minutes away) and was asking when I could go home. After a few days (and waking up to another heavy bleed at the hospital), I didn't want to go home bc I was scared something would happen and felt grateful to be at the hospital where medical care was right outside my door, and I was asking how long I could stay. Granted, I live 90 minutes from the hospital, have different issues from the abruption, and didn't have kids at home then.

I'm pretty sure I'll have some sort of bed rest next pregnancy, and I'm not sure whether I'd prefer home or hospital bed rest, but I'm leaning toward hospital because I felt safer there and like I couldn't do too much. Yet, I have amazing and close-by support between my husband, in-laws 5 minutes away, and parents 30 minutes away (and on the way to the hospital, if I needed to quickly drop my daughter off), so I feel like they would all be a huge help and stay with me 24/7 if I was at home. I completely understand your dilemma. Being away from my daughter would be incredibly hard, but in the whole scheme of things, it's not a super-long time and I would feel better knowing I did everything for the health of my newest baby like I did for her.

Do what you won't regret later, and if you choose to stay at home, don't overdo it!!

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