Add another one to the unsafe list, BD....
KTdidit
member
BD has apparently been working in Wisconsin. He leaves me a voicemail Tuesday saying that he may not be back in time for our usual meeting time and asked if he could pick DS up on the way home "in the work truck". And then says "i know how you are about car seats and all" and that he will call me back. I couldn't wait to find out what that statement meant. He just texted me, this is our text convo:
BD: Hey I'm getting DS right? I'll be back home by 4 so let me know if I'm getting him please.
Me: Yeah I'll meet you normal time and place. What was that line in the voicemail "I know how you are about carseats" supposed to mean?
BD: Well it would've been down from **my town** to my house in a semi, that's it (FYI 1.5hrs). If I would've ended up getting back late then grabbing him on the way would've solved any issues reagrding my picking him up and all. I take that as you not thinking I put him in a carseat and that's not even a question he's in one every time like he's supposed to be.
Me: Well it sounds like you didn't plan to have one for him if you picked him up on the way home.
BD: There's no place to put one in a semi and that's why I mentioned it to you instead of not telling you.
Me: Having a 3yr old in a car and not in a carseat is unacceptable, dangerous, and against the law. I wouldn't have let you take him. I'll meet you at the normal place and time tonight.
BD: Geez it was just a fuukkin suggestion so as to not impede on our schedule. See you normal time.
So lets add this to the file with the pics of DS at 2yrs old behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. Would taking this to my lawyer even do any good? I don't know if this will mean anything since he didn't actually have DS in a semi with no carseat. How much of this stuff do I have to have before it does any good? I'm getting less and less sure of DS's safety when he's there. I can imagine BD and his GF leaving the kids at the house to run to the gas station or something. "Geez it was only 2 hours"
Re: Add another one to the unsafe list, BD....
Well he did admit to letting DS "drive", he says it was just down the driveway, but the car was still moving.
And I think its so messed up that BD can put DS in that situation, and even say that he was intending on having him in a vehicle without a carseat, and there's basically nothing I can do about it. That I can't do anything about it until DS is actually hurt because of BD's bullshyt. BD doesn't give a shyt about DS during the 11 days between visits - no calls or texts to see how he is, no trying to get extra time, doesn't pay CS, and does stupid crap like this. But still deserves to be called his father.....
Believe me I get it. Unfortunately that's how the court system works. In all aspects. Can't prosecute until a "crime" happens. And even then, in family court, it's such a "he said she said" environment that most judges dismiss a lot of things as just couples squabbling. Just keep the faith that you didn't procreate with a complete moron and that he will at the very least keep your son alive and in tact in his care. And as your son grows, he'll learn what's what!
^^This.
A Judge will more than likely say, "No harm no foul". BD didn't show up and intend on taking DS without a carseat, so there isn't anything to "punish". It sucks because you know that would very likely happen, but since it hasn't actually happened you've got nothing.
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sadly, it doesn't seem illegal either
IC 9-19-10-1
Application of chapter
Sec. 1. This chapter does not apply to an occupant of a motor vehicle who meets any of the following conditions:
(1) For medical reasons should not wear safety belts, provided the occupant has written documentation of the medical reasons from a physician.
(2) Is a child required to be restrained by a child restraint system under IC 9-19-11.
(3) Is traveling in a commercial or a United States Postal Service vehicle that makes frequent stops for the purpose of pickup or delivery of goods or services.
(4) Is a rural carrier of the United States Postal Service and is operating a vehicle while serving a rural postal route.
(5) Is a newspaper motor route carrier or newspaper bundle hauler who stops to make deliveries from a vehicle.
(6) Is a driver examiner designated and appointed under IC 9-14-2-3 and is conducting an examination of an applicant for a permit or license under IC 9-24-10.
(7) Is an occupant of a farm truck being used on a farm in connection with agricultural pursuits that are usual and normal to the farming operation, as set forth in IC 9-29-5-13(b)(2).
(8) Is an occupant of a motor vehicle participating in a parade.
(9) Is an occupant of the living quarters area of a recreational vehicle.
(10) Is an occupant of the treatment area of an ambulance (as defined in IC 16-18-2-13).
(11) Is an occupant of the sleeping area of a tractor.
(12) Is an occupant other than the operator of a vehicle described in IC 9-20-11-1(1).
(13) Is an occupant other than the operator of a truck on a construction site.
(14) Is a passenger other than the operator in a cab of a Class A recovery vehicle or a Class B recovery vehicle who is being transported in the cab because the motor vehicle of the passenger is being towed by the recovery vehicle.
(15) Is an occupant other than the operator of a motor vehicle being used by a public utility in an emergency as set forth in IC 9-20-6-5.
As added by P.L.2-1991, SEC.7. Amended by P.L.67-2004, SEC.2;
P.L.214-2007, SEC.6.
IC 9-19-10-2documented proof is where it's at in most cases. If the judge will want to see or hear it.
I have numerous voicemails and texts from BM saying " I got a carseat for SD1 now..and then show up with one booster seat for 2 kids. These messages from BM happened almost on a weekly basis..
I'm not sure if that's proof enough but when BM finally did get a booster seat, a text was sent to BM thanking her for finally getting one. (I would make DH go out to check for the seats in her car.. it was never brought up by BM that she didn't have them, DH made her wait and she would use ours and end up not giving it back.)
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5