SAHM "wage"

ChristyML · June 2013

Since people are talking about paying babysitters and such, I thought I would bring this up:

I saw a picture on facebook, and it said that if SAHMs were paid minimum wage for all the "jobs" they do (such as cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, etc.), they should be making about 112K a year. I did the math of what I do, and if I were to get paid 8 bucks an hour, I should be making about 73K a year (that's a bit high, since I calculated it without remembering that MH is home on weekends). The 73K is including "overtime" (more than 40 hours a week).

I'm not saying I think I should be paid for being a SAHM. I just thought it would be interesting to see what the real "wage" would be.

Any thoughts?

LoriLee14 · June 2013

I look at it more at what I could be spending. Since little man is still in day care age, I have made my husband look at the prices for day care for his age for the year. And that I am able to cook more and we eat out less (he doesn't care about that one) But I don't think I could count the time that I clean and cook as a wage because we both clean (I obviously clean more since I'm here more) and cooking would get done whether I worked or not. I also remind him how much more he would have to do when we compare to other parents that both work and the husband does much more around the house.

Rink08 · June 2013

I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.

ChristyML · June 2013

LoriLee14:
I look at it more at what I could be spending. Since little man is still in day care age, I have made my husband look at the prices for day care for his age for the year. And that I am able to cook more and we eat out less (he doesn't care about that one) But I don't think I could count the time that I clean and cook as a wage because we both clean (I obviously clean more since I'm here more) and cooking would get done whether I worked or not. I also remind him how much more he would have to do when we compare to other parents that both work and the husband does much more around the house.

All of that makes sense. I was thinking about that too; that I stay home because anything I'd make would just go to daycare, so there really would be no point of me working. I wouldn't want to work just to put DS in daycare.

ASullivan1231 · June 2013

Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.

I think the idea behind it is to highlight all that SAHMs do. It's not that we should actually be paid, but be appreciated. I do think that as a SAHM we are at timed undervalued.

notkateanymore · June 2013

ASullivan1231:
Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.
I think the idea behind it is to highlight all that SAHMs do. It's not that we should actually be paid, but be appreciated. I do think that as a SAHM we are at timed undervalued.

Who undervalues you? Your DH? Society? I'm confused I think.

I think it's silly too, because SAHM don't do the job of a full time driver and cook...hell, half the people on this board don't cook. You also aren't in the car every day all day. It's just silly. I mean, I don't clean at all. I pay somebody to do that and the laundry for me and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than what they're saying it costs.

roxy_jj · June 2013

Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.

I agree. I roll my eyes whenever I see that posted.

bumpuser8448316 · June 2013

I've seen that before and I think it's ridiculous. It must have been written by some SAHmartyr who wanted to feel good about herself.

penguingrrl · June 2013

Most of those are part of life, parent or not, WOH, SAH, WAH, whatever. I would consider the cost of caring f/t for 3 children my contribution to the family. Anything else (cooking, cleaning, driving, laundry) is all part of life, not specific to being a SAHP.

crystalite2004 · June 2013

KateMW:
ASullivan1231:
Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.

I think the idea behind it is to highlight all that SAHMs do. It's not that we should actually be paid, but be appreciated. I do think that as a SAHM we are at timed undervalued.
Who undervalues you? Your DH? Society? I'm confused I think.
I think it's silly too, because SAHM don't do the job of a full time driver and cook...hell, half the people on this board don't cook. You also aren't in the car every day all day. It's just silly. I mean, I don't clean at all. I pay somebody to do that and the laundry for me and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than what they're saying it costs. 

Salary.com has a calculator to enter how many hours you perform each task per week and figures it out that way. There was also a calculator to figure out how much a working parent would make in addition to their job.

I saw it on FB a few months ago.

LoriLee14 · June 2013

crystalite2004:
KateMW:
ASullivan1231:
Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.
I think the idea behind it is to highlight all that SAHMs do. It's not that we should actually be paid, but be appreciated. I do think that as a SAHM we are at timed undervalued.
Who undervalues you? Your DH? Society? I'm confused I think.
I think it's silly too, because SAHM don't do the job of a full time driver and cook...hell, half the people on this board don't cook. You also aren't in the car every day all day. It's just silly. I mean, I don't clean at all. I pay somebody to do that and the laundry for me and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than what they're saying it costs.
Salary.com has a calculator to enter how many hours you perform each task per week and figures it out that way. There was also a calculator to figure out how much a working parent would make in addition to their job. I saw it on FB a few months ago.

https://www.salary.com/mom-paycheck/ is this it?

notkateanymore · June 2013

cjcouple:
ASullivan1231:
Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.
I think the idea behind it is to highlight all that SAHMs do. It's not that we should actually be paid, but be appreciated. I do think that as a SAHM we are at timed undervalued.

I think it is silly, a bunch of that stuff you would do regardless of parental status. It's not like you just start cooking and cleaning when you have kids.

Well, let's be honest. I only started picking stuff up off the floor when she started trying to put it in her mouth. Wink I kid. Kinda.

I just don't feel the need to value myself...I don't feel unappreciated ever.

crystalite2004 · June 2013

LoriLee14:
crystalite2004:
KateMW:
Who undervalues you? Your DH? Society? I'm confused I think.
I think it's silly too, because SAHM don't do the job of a full time driver and cook...hell, half the people on this board don't cook. You also aren't in the car every day all day. It's just silly. I mean, I don't clean at all. I pay somebody to do that and the laundry for me and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than what they're saying it costs. 

Salary.com has a calculator to enter how many hours you perform each task per week and figures it out that way. There was also a calculator to figure out how much a working parent would make in addition to their job.

I saw it on FB a few months ago.
 
https://www.salary.com/mom-paycheck/ is this it?
 

That's it!

MountaineerMomma · June 2013

It is ridiculous...the only time I (jokingly) put a value on what I do is when I'm trying to justify the cost of a designer purse or shoes to DH. But let's be real, I cooked for DH long before we even got married, because I enjoy cooking, not because it's my "job," and I clean because I think it's important. If I truly had to put a value on what I do all day, I think it would be time to rethink SAH.

ASullivan1231 · June 2013

KateMW:
ASullivan1231:
Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.

I think the idea behind it is to highlight all that SAHMs do. It's not that we should actually be paid, but be appreciated. I do think that as a SAHM we are at timed undervalued.
Who undervalues you? Your DH? Society? I'm confused I think.
I think it's silly too, because SAHM don't do the job of a full time driver and cook...hell, half the people on this board don't cook. You also aren't in the car every day all day. It's just silly. I mean, I don't clean at all. I pay somebody to do that and the laundry for me and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than what they're saying it costs. 

Oh FFS, no one undervalues me. I'm just telling you why they do it. It's really not worth getting worked up about.

LoriLee14 · June 2013

ASullivan1231:
KateMW:
ASullivan1231:
Rink08:
I think that this is ridiculous every time that it's mentioned. What they are talking about getting paid for is just part of being a parent. Should the working parents recieve the same amount as well? Because they, in most cases, are doing the same thing except they have to do it around an outside work schedule. My feeling is you don't get paid to be a parent regardless of the amount.
I think the idea behind it is to highlight all that SAHMs do. It's not that we should actually be paid, but be appreciated. I do think that as a SAHM we are at timed undervalued.
Who undervalues you? Your DH? Society? I'm confused I think.
I think it's silly too, because SAHM don't do the job of a full time driver and cook...hell, half the people on this board don't cook. You also aren't in the car every day all day. It's just silly. I mean, I don't clean at all. I pay somebody to do that and the laundry for me and it's a heck of a lot cheaper than what they're saying it costs.
Oh FFS, no one undervalues me. I'm just telling you why they do it. It's really not worth getting worked up about.

Who doesn't like hearing a "attaboy" every now and then. I love it when my husband verbally says how much he appreciates me and everything I do. Do I need it to feel justified in the decision we made for me to stay at home, no. But It makes me feel good

honkytonk_kid · June 2013

If your husband doesn't value you (general you) as a SAHM, no silly "wage calculator" is going to change that.

I don't understand the idea that society doesn't value a SAHM, as that is much the opposite of my experience.

Mostly I just think it sounds silly, and very validation-seeking.

honkytonk_kid · June 2013

However... I would charge at least time and a half for the fact that this kid stiilllll wakes me up at night, and hazard pay for potty training.

bumpuser8448316 · June 2013

Diapers&Wipes:
Am I the only one that gets paid? Interestingly enough it's the same amount DH makes. His money is my money and all that jazz. yes I know I don't really get a paycheck

Again we're on the same wavelength.

roxy_jj · June 2013

amy052006:
honkytonk_kid:
If your husband doesn't value you (general you) as a SAHM, no silly "wage calculator" is going to change that.
I don't understand the idea that society doesn't value a SAHM, as that is much the opposite of my experience.
Mostly I just think it sounds silly, and very validation-seeking.
Thank you. Whenever I hear that someone thinks people don't value SAHMs, I wonder if they have any experience at all being a working mom. Because trust me, I got way more side eyes when I told I was working full time and sending DS1 to daycare.

When I was working full time and told people that my children were in daycare I got a lot of sad looks and "those poor babies" comments.

chardonnay24 · June 2013

I think it's ridiculous. Even if you work a full time job, you still have to be a parent (for free) when you get home. And my husband does his fair share of housework and kid duty when he is not working. It's not like I'm the only person cooking, cleaning, and running errands.

freezorburn · June 2013

honkytonk_kid:
If your husband doesn't value you (general you) as a SAHM, no silly "wage calculator" is going to change that.
I don't understand the idea that society doesn't value a SAHM, as that is much the opposite of my experience.
Mostly I just think it sounds silly, and very validation-seeking.

Lucky you. I grew up in a household where my mother was put down and undermined at every turn and made to feel like less of a person, because she stayed home with three of us and didn't bring in a paycheck. The sad fact is, there are lots of people in society who only care about a paycheck.

Thankfully my marriage is not like that at all and I have a husband who values what I do and supports my choices.

honkytonk_kid · June 2013

freezorburn:
honkytonk_kid:
If your husband doesn't value you (general you) as a SAHM, no silly "wage calculator" is going to change that.
I don't understand the idea that society doesn't value a SAHM, as that is much the opposite of my experience. 
Mostly I just think it sounds silly, and very validation-seeking.
Lucky you. I grew up in a household where my mother was put down and undermined at every turn and made to feel like less of a person, because she stayed home with three of us and didn't bring in a paycheck. The sad fact is, there are lots of people in society who only care about a paycheck.
Thankfully my marriage is not like that at all and I have a husband who values what I do and supports my choices.

My point is, that at least where I'm from/ my experience is that no, that's not "lucky," that's standard. Actually, around here bring a sahm is like the pinnacle of womanhood. Maybe it's very different elsewhere?

Yeah, some people only value a paycheck. Some people think good mothers stay home with their babies. Some people just always have something to say about things that are none of their business. But the idea that sahm are vastly undervalued has not been anywhere near my experience.

pastalady · June 2013

Yeah, I just don't get this at all lol! Who would pay? Would working parents not get the money as well? The truth is I cost my family money by staying at home. Even with daycare costs and eating out more, I would still make money.

ta78 · June 2013

I must be a terrible SAHM. I wouldn't make nearly that much with the amount of cleaning and cooking I do. DH works full time and still cooks dinner more often than I do. I watch the kids.. play with them.. take them to do things. But if I want to stay home on a rainy day in our pjs, we can do that. Not many day cares/babysitters have that luxury.

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