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Blended Families
CFjo2010
member
Vacation update: loooong
CFjo2010
member
So after nearly 2 hours of back and forth last night, the Summer vacation is finally ironed out. But can I just say how much I loathe BM? Flame me if you must, but that woman is deplorable and I genuinely despise her. She does not act in K?s best interests and is completely selfish and self-entitled.
First she tried to claim that she had no record of any texts from DH regarding the proposed vacation. He told her the date of the text (which was actually sent April 21. not May 12 like I previously thought) and she sends him a screen shot of her texts from that timeframe and the text isn?t there. Her snarky- comment (that?s right, I said ?snarky-?) was, ?If only you could do screen shots and show me where you supposedly text this.? This woman feigns ?text message error? all the time and claims she doesn?t receive texts. DH?s old phone didn?t do screenshots and the way his messages were set up it was practically impossible to take a picture of the text and have it show who the text was to/from. I?m sure she was banking on him having that problem again. Well DH can do screenshots now and he promptly sent her one showing the text. Man, I wish I could have seen her face when he sent that text. We hear nothing from her for 30 minutes, and then she responds: ?According to the CO all vacation must be requested in writing 30 days in advance?.
DH very calmly replied through email and text, ?My original request was sent 100 days in advance, and the follow up for the alternate date was sent 72 days in advance. Just because you claim to have not received it doesn?t alter the dates I provided written notice. I have proof that the message was sent, and Jo can testify if needed that you and I verbally discussed this date on XX date at my home when you picked up K and you agreed.? And this is where I got angry: she texts him back and tells him that she has discussed the vacation he is requesting with K and now K is upset that she is going to miss out on plans that BM set up for them and that she (BM) thinks it would be in K?s best interests for DH not to use his vacation at the time he is requesting.
Why would you do that to your child? Why would you ?discuss? the change of plans 3 weeks in advance? Why? K is 7, you know she?s already forgotten whatever plans were set up and won?t even notice the change unless you tell her. Why would a mother deliberately upset their child like that and make Dad?s vacation time now a horrible thing that is making her miss out on something else? Why? I know I need to not let this stuff bother me. I know this. But I?m so angry for K. Let the 7 year old be a kid and have fun, no matter which house she?s at. Is that really so much to ask?
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Re: Vacation update: loooong
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
The three of our BMs were holding hands as they fell out of that tree together. What one doesn't dream up the other two must and share.
I digress....is your DH sticking to his plans?
He basically told BM to pick either the original week he proposed or the alternate week. She is grudgingly chose the alternate week which works great for us because it means we'll have K 4 weekends in a row
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I agree. In fact, years ago when I told her that DC is out of the picture and how the kids only see him once a year, BM went on and on about how happy she is that K knows her dad and spends a lot of time with him. Then of course DH got smart and demanded a CO reflecting the time he was spending with K and things went downhill...
We used to go above and beyond and plan these elaborate activities to try and counteract BM's crap, but that got exhausting and expensive. We are both very involved with K's classroom and DH has chaperoned field trips. Really, we don't go more than 3 days without having K at our house, and my DD and I see her every day at school. K has playdates at our home, and we do stuff as a family. Our main objective is to provide as much wholesome stability as we can for her, DS and DD. So we do family movie nights at the house, we just planted an herb garden and tomatoes, we go to the beach, etc.
When I pick K up this afternoon I'll try and gauge how she's feeling about it. But really, once she's away from BM she is so happy and excited about stuff. Once K finds out that Grandma is getting here the week she's with us, all will be forgotten and she'll be busy planning stuff with us.
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This has happened to us a few times. We will have plans on our weekend or our vacation time and BM will say she wants SS for tht same time, after we already have. SS would cry and say he was going to miss out on all the stuff BM told her they would do without him. We didn't even address anything related to her but would just focus on how much fun we were going to have at our event. We have talked to SS before about how he gets to do a lot more stuff since he is part of two families since he gets to do things, like go on vacation with both of us. However, that does mean sometimes he misses stuff but it will all work out eventually.
Sorry you have to deal with this every year...
We document everything. It's a large file we have and it's exhausting work, but we do it. I just wish she would start acting in K's best interests, become happier with herself and stop fighting us on every little thing.
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Because she's a b!tch, and because she puts herself above K. WAY above K. She doesn't deserve as much time as she has with K.
Please file contempt soon. I want to shake BM. Ugh.