Today Show (regrets of a SAHM) ugh.

dizzycooks · June 2013

OMG, I hate the 'mommy wars' crap. Hate it. So all morning they've been teasing a piece on a SAHM who regrets her time at home. I guess she wrote something in the Huff. Post (I haven't checked it out yet), but really if you regret is so much, why don't you go back to work? At some point those kids didn't require daycare and I've got to think you would have been making money. Did anyone else see this?

Andrewsgal · June 2013

Here is the article sorry no clicky

https://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/3402691

dizzycooks · June 2013

Diapers&Wipes:
I quit watching the today show. They always have crap on. I read a piece like this before. I don't care how much you love or hate staying home. At no point should you publish that info for your kids to read. "Hey kid, I totally regret the time I spent at home with you".

Right?? She went on to say how she was just too involved in their lives and WMs have to 'triage' and decide what's really important. Seriously, as someone who works part of the year, I am pretty darn involved in DDs life and the decisions I make for her. I think if she wanted to back off, she could have. Choices people, it's all about choices...

sbevmc09 · June 2013

I read this article a few days ago. I've been chatting about it with some friends. Basically my opinion boils down to this: I think it's brave of her to admit that she feels regret and that she made a mistake. However, I think she's wrong. I don't agree with a lot of her points (and take big issue with the "letting down women of previous generations"/feminists) and I really think she discounts the importance of the roles she held. Not only that, but it's easy to say she has regret when she's under the assumption that her life would have been peaches as a working mom. She has no idea what path her life would have taken if she had made different choices.

Ultimately though, these are just her perceptions and she's entitled to them. I think it's sad that she seems to have so much regret and seems to under-appreciate the experiences she DID have because she regrets those she thinks she would have had, but I guess it is what it is for her.

notreallyirish · June 2013

I regret not becoming a Fortune 500 CEO. All those lost earnings and benefits!!!!

dizzycooks · June 2013

amy052006:

I have an acquaintance like this -- total type A mega successful career person. Quit her job, and applies that same ambition and need for validation to her kids. I totally see it shaking out this way for her.
I've said it before, but lack of ambition is a gift.

That's awesome Amy I might hang that on my fridge!

aander6 · June 2013

Diapers&Wipes:
I quit watching the today show. They always have crap on. I read a piece like this before. I don't care how much you love or hate staying home. At no point should you publish that info for your kids to read. "Hey kid, I totally regret the time I spent at home with you".

I couldn't agree more. On this topic also I really want so shake people sometimes who are posting all over facebook complaining about their kids or things their kids are doing or missing out on things because they have kids. Ummm, HELLO PEOPLE, the internet is basically forever and your children may see this someday. If you want to complain or vent a bit call your BFF don't put it out on the internet for all to see.

notreallyirish · June 2013

dizzykates:
amy052006:

I have an acquaintance like this -- total type A mega successful career person. Quit her job, and applies that same ambition and need for validation to her kids. I totally see it shaking out this way for her.
I've said it before, but lack of ambition is a gift.
That's awesome Amy I might hang that on my fridge!

I think that quote is true, but it's more like you phrased it earlier in your post. It's not necessarily lacking ambition so much as not needing concrete validation or praise. And it applies to a lot more than stay at home moms. Anyone with a low paying, low respect job that they can take satisfaction from fits this bill.

I think this woman would have been depressed regardless.

notreallyirish · June 2013

Diapers&Wipes:
This is going to turn into a mommy war isn't it? Diapers and wipes was here!

Yeah, media outlets know their audience. This is why The Today Show serves up a re-heated version of the mommy wars every month. It always generates "buzz."

Andrewsgal · June 2013

MermaidsMagic:
Someone needs to raise these babies and I'd rather it be me.nbsp;

JFC you can not be serious. Pretty sure my WM raised me.

notkateanymore · June 2013

amy052006:
First and foremost her need to regret the outfits on those kids.

I only clicked to see the outfits...are those choices or like English school boy unis?

notreallyirish · June 2013

cjcouple:
I didn't see the Today Show and just read the article and I think she does have some good points. I absolutely can see a SAHM looking at her future after her kids are grown and having regret about things she should have done differently.

My sister is struggling with this a bit. she ran a successful in-home daycare for 20 years. Now her oldest graduated college, her 2nd is entering college in the fall and her baby 15 and she finds herself really struggling with what to do with herself. Although she has zero regret about being home, she is a little envious of those moms who work part time and have really great hours and pay (because they put in their time).

It is also important to know it goes both ways, if this woman was a work a holic she would also have regret about missing her kids childhood. This woman definitely has some issues but it does make a younger sahm think about her future. I know a lot of people have these grand illusions of just picking up where they left off and that it will be easy to just go get a job, in reality that is not the case

Yeah, I think most people do a kind of "taking stock" when their kids leave home or are close to doing so, or just when they reach a certain age or milestone. There will always be regrets about work, kids, home life, your marriage, your relationships with other family and friends, things you did and didn't do. That's life. You make choices and live with them. But people need to remember your life is not over at 50 or 65 or whatever. You might not have the same possibilities and you can't go back in time, but you can still LIVE. Take up painting, volunteer, get a new job. No, you're probably not going to develop a high power career or become famous at this point, but you can do SOMETHING.

Dochas · June 2013

Another moron. "No part of my brain, thought, at no point did I examine, not once did I think". I put more thought into buying shoes than this woman gave to leaving her job. Will they just now publish anything written by any woman with a child? Maybe tomorrow we can get back to hearing about how American parents are doing everything wrong.

rockyrollgirl · June 2013

So she regrets her choices. Nobody cares,so why make a point to broadcast it.

KaylaL08 · June 2013

cjcouple:
I didn't see the Today Show and just read the article and I think she does have some good points. I absolutely can see a SAHM looking at her future after her kids are grown and having regret about things she should have done differently.

My sister is struggling with this a bit. she ran a successful in-home daycare for 20 years. Now her oldest graduated college, her 2nd is entering college in the fall and her baby 15 and she finds herself really struggling with what to do with herself. Although she has zero regret about being home, she is a little envious of those moms who work part time and have really great hours and pay (because they put in their time).

It is also important to know it goes both ways, if this woman was a work a holic she would also have regret about missing her kids childhood. This woman definitely has some issues but it does make a younger sahm think about her future. I know a lot of people have these grand illusions of just picking up where they left off and that it will be easy to just go get a job, in reality that is not the case

I agree with all of this.

I know this article was posted as nonsense, but reading it has just reinforced my decision to work part-time.

sbevmc09 · June 2013

scatteredtrees:
I kind of don't care if someone regrets SAH. Like I don't care if someone regrets working, or buying a red car or naming their child Jazzlynn.
Someone "going public" about her regrets on SAH doesn't shame SAHMs, it just tells her story- a story that for some reason people want to hear.

Ha! Jazzlynn.

I totally agree. I'm kind of interested as to why people are so interested in this. Like she's the first mom to have regrets. Is it because she's so publicly admitting her regrets? Is it because she's "in support of working moms"? Anyone have a theory on this?

ASullivan1231 · June 2013

amy052006:
.I've said it before, but lack of ambition is a gift.nbsp;

You just made me laugh out loud! I'm totally stealing this line. I will forever look at my lack of ambition differently!

cheffymama · June 2013

It seems like she made a poorly thought out decision and is regretting not considering all the ramifications. Making such a big decision without thinking it through all the way is a recipe for regrets, and that's just what she got.

She sounds like she could have been a workaholic, and when she quit became sort of a momaholic instead. It seems like that would be equally unhealthy, because as she said, now that her kids are grown, what now?

DD is still so young, and I know it will be more difficult when as we add to the brood, but I want to make sure that I still have a life outside my family. Yes, I want to volunteer, and be there for them, and they will be a huge, if not the biggest factor in almost any decision I make, but I don't want that to be all I am or have.

caybeh · June 2013

sbevmc09:
I read this article a few days ago. I've been chatting about it with some friends. Basically my opinion boils down to this: I think it's brave of her to admit that she feels regret and that she made a mistake. However, I think she's wrong. I don't agree with a lot of her points (and take big issue with the "letting down women of previous generations"/feminists) and I really think she discounts the importance of the roles she held. Not only that, but it's easy to say she has regret when she's under the assumption that her life would have been peaches as a working mom. She has no idea what path her life would have taken if she had made different choices.
Ultimately though, these are just her perceptions and she's entitled to them. I think it's sad that she seems to have so much regret and seems to under-appreciate the experiences she DID have because she regrets those she thinks she would have had, but I guess it is what it is for her.

Agree! You said it so well.

blushingbride_08 · June 2013

It's all about balance.

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Today Show (regrets of a SAHM) ugh.

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