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Blended Families
+just+j+
member
PISSED at my lawyer.
+just+j+
member
I'm finally getting around to getting my Social Security Card updated to my maiden name. I thought my name was changed in the divorce decree.
I told him - even emailed him when I had to make my final decision - that I wanted it back to my last name. That didn't get done. I still legally have my husbands last name.
I am so pissed.
I'm also mad at myself for not catching it. I was so caught up in the CO and the divorce portion, I didn't see my name change was not in there. I assumed that would be seperate document.
The whole purpose of doing it in the divorce decree is it would save me money.
Not only did the divorce cost me $900 more than he quoted and was expected, he didn't get this done AND he lost paperwork with a signature that we had already gotten from XH. When we went back and asked him for him to sign again, I had to go thru XH being pissy and second guessing if he really wanted to agree with everything. He also did not include the document stating that XH and I had taken the Children in the Middle class - which we were VERY pro-active and got done and sent to him immediately after - and additional paper work had to be filed for that.
How much of the $900 extra is for processing his screw ups???
Needless to say, my lawyer is fired. I don't even know how to respond to his email informing me that this did not happen. I'm so damn livid I want to cry.
I wanted my maiden name back.
F*cking lawyers.
"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
This discussion has been closed.
Re: PISSED at my lawyer.
I am thinking about just leaving it. It makes me want to cry thinking about it, but I'm going to just let it sink in and then decide.
After I chill out, I'm listing out all the issues I've had and see if he can do this at no cost.
This!! Do you have it in writing anywhere that you requested this get done? In an email? If you can prove that you asked for it to be done and he didn't do it, I would absolutely hold his feet to the fire and make sure he does it for nothing. For goodness' sake, what a stupid thing to miss.
Also, for what it's worth, write him a bad review on Yelp. Or maybe threaten him with it? People nowadays rely so heavily on testimonials by other customers, a few bad reviews could mean losing a lot of business.
Sorry you're having to deal with this when you thought everything was over. That is so frustrating and disappointing.
I emailed him back our email chain from November that specifically discussed this and said I was not happy. I asked that he do it for free. I have not paid my outstanding bill in full and he has been very nice about letting me pay that down without hassle. At least he's been nice about that.
So I told him that if he'll do it for free, I'll pay it in full when he gets it done.
We'll see what he comes back with.
He's doing it for free, but he has to notify XH. Yay.
That will now stir up a lot of crap from XH that I really don't want or need, but he says the judge will ask and it's helpful to say, "Yes we've notified XH". XH thinks this was already done and didn't like it but no doubt I'll get another round of guilt. Which I will not listen to, but just the first words of "Are you sure..." will be enough to raise my blood pressure and he will try to change my mind at least 2 more times after that.
Still pissed.
He's still fired after this.
Oh I'm so sorry, but great that he will now take care of this for you, as he should. When I went to my divorce I didn't have a lawyer with me (I had a lawyer but she didn't come, it really wasn't necessary). But she had said to make sure I told the judge that I wanted to go back to my maiden name so it would go right into the divorce decree and I didn't forget to tell the judge at the time.
He should have been on the ball about it, glad he is working on this for free. And your XH should get over it, why should you want to hang on to his name?
You wouldn't think that to know and talk to him. I think it's because my divorce was so simple and easy that he didn't have to focus on I and slacked. There are a lot bigger messes out there. And for that, I am grateful.
I kinda new once I chilled out that he would do it for free. It didn't take much pushing.
My name change didn't make it to the divorce decree either. It was in the document but not on the decree. My lawyer made it sound like it was NBD and I didn't know better. It was a serious PITA. I had to walk around with my full divorce packet (which was signed by judge, XH, me, notarized, etc) to get my name changed. That particular section was directly after who got the dog, couch, and washing machine. It was embarrassing.
Good for you to push to get this on the decree!
full time stepmom to SS1 and SS2 since 2010
married since 2011
TTC since 7/2011 (no planned bc since 2008)
HSG 11/2011: one blocked tube
S/A 2/2012 and retest S/A 3/2012: normal
Bloodwork: normal
2nd HSG 5/2012: clear
Femara cycle 5mg #1 7/14/12 + IUI #1 7/23/12 = bfn
New RE appt 8/14/12
IVF #1 meds 8/30/12. ER 9/14/2012: 7 retrieved, 6 fertilized. ET 9/19/12: 1 perfect embryo 5dt.
Beta #1 BFP! 97
Beta #2 234
Beta #3 4937
ultrasound #1 heart beat 127
10/20/12 graduated!!!
EDD 6/7/12
Team PINK!!
I don't know what I'll get. More than likely it will be a seperate document amending the divorce decree. Thankfully, ours was simple and clean. We didn't fight over the details, and I think XH knew I could walk away with a lot more if we did fight.
I was lucky.
I really, really want my name back. More than likely I will never change it again. Even if I ever decide to marry. At my age and after one almost marriage (engagement ended after discovering his infidelity) and this marriage...I'm more on the side of living forever with someone than marrying. I don't need it to be legal to be faithful and forever dedicated to someone. Besides, I hear in Europe women don't change their last name. If I marry again - I'm legally keeping my last name dammit.