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Friends, I just need to let this out...(vent)

GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member
in LGBT Parenting

My DW is still on the hiking trail and unreachable and I consider you all friends, so here I go...

When I graduated with my law degree and became involved with my wife, I didn't have a great job. Her family thought I was using her, but in their next breath they needed someone to represent them in Court. They never had a problem with my always being available because I didn't have a great job. Now i have a great job. 

My family has leeched off of me for years. They have this ability to find the one thing that will guilt me into helping them. I have recently learned how to say no. To both families.

 And now I am the bad guy. 

I have a real job. I work from home. I work 50-60 hours per week. Every week. Yet my family believes that because I am at home, I have time to represent them in Court, go visit, take them to appointments, babysit...

Does any one else have this problem with their family? Why is it that just because I do not go to an office, they don't take my job seriously? I have the dream job! I just thank GAWD that they don't know our plans to create our own family. We'd for sure be forever the "bad guys."

Ugh.  

TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
  • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
  • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
  • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
  • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
  • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
  • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
  • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
  • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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Re: Friends, I just need to let this out...(vent)

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    keepsawaythenargleskeepsawaythenargles member
    I work from home too and everyone thinks I'm just sitting around...while I do a lot of sitting, I am still super busy. I was fortunate to find a company that is totally internet based and feel very lucky that I get to work from home. Some people just don't GET it. As long as you and DW understand it, then no need to worry about others. But I understand totally where you're coming from!
    M: 25  DW: 26
    Married 5/31/13
    TTC #1
    Lesbian mamas to our fur babies
    11/13 - Waiting for test results to get the party started!

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    GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member

    Melissa, I'm sorry you deal with this too! What is funny is that no one ever complained when I always said yes to them. The moment I started saying no and putting my family first was when my job became a joke. I have a B.A, J.D., Law License and Mediator Certification....clearly I'm just sitting around doing nothing. Didn't you know that "nothing" always pays the bills :) 

    I wish I could say that to them! :) 

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


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    image
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    irandaann03irandaann03 member
    As a therapist I have to commend you on setting boundaries :
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    irandaann03irandaann03 member
    melissa can I ask what you do for a living? I would love to be able to work from home after we have a family.
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    keepsawaythenargleskeepsawaythenargles member

    I do customer service for an online photo gift company. It was a Craigslist find that I was sure was a scam...but it's been 3 months and I've been paid all three months... and it's turned out great!  

     

    Goalies, you go girl! That's impressive right there! You have to do what's best for you and DW and that's what's gotta matter. :)

    M: 25  DW: 26
    Married 5/31/13
    TTC #1
    Lesbian mamas to our fur babies
    11/13 - Waiting for test results to get the party started!

    Report Reply
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    GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member

    imageirandaann03:
    As a therapist I have to commend you on setting boundaries :

    Thank you. It's not easy, but if I want to have my own life it had to happen.  

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
    image
    Report Reply
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    Twinkler2011Twinkler2011
    imageGoaliesWife123:

    My DW is still on the hiking trail and unreachable and I consider you all friends, so here I go...

    When I graduated with my law degree and became involved with my wife, I didn't have a great job. Her family thought I was using her, but in their next breath they needed someone to represent them in Court. They never had a problem with my always being available because I didn't have a great job. Now i have a great job. 

    My family has leeched off of me for years. They have this ability to find the one thing that will guilt me into helping them. I have recently learned how to say no. To both families.

     And now I am the bad guy. 

    I have a real job. I work from home. I work 50-60 hours per week. Every week. Yet my family believes that because I am at home, I have time to represent them in Court, go visit, take them to appointments, babysit...

    Does any one else have this problem with their family? Why is it that just because I do not go to an office, they don't take my job seriously? I have the dream job! I just thank GAWD that they don't know our plans to create our own family. We'd for sure be forever the "bad guys."

    Ugh.  

     

    I feel you 100%, here is a little back story....

    Right after high school I got my Associate Degree in Business. I got bored with all the entry level positions I was being sucked into so I decided "I want to do hair" so I got my cosmetology license. After I finished Cos school, I realized I was kidding myself because being a stylist in OH does NOT pay the bills. So I finished my B.A in Business Management and am finishing my Master?s program now.

    I (with my partner) have 3 kids to take care of, go to school full time, work a full time job 8-5 in logistics (stress) and yet I get all kinds of guilt trips from family as to why I can?t Cut, Highlight, Color their hair FOR FREE any time they need me to!

    I, like you, stopped doing it! Every time someone asks I say, my schooling isn?t free neither are my hair do's. Maybe they think I?m a B***h but all well! I don't have the time!

    Just stick to your guns!

     

    A 

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    GoaliesWife123GoaliesWife123 member
    imageTwinkler2011:
    imageGoaliesWife123:

    My DW is still on the hiking trail and unreachable and I consider you all friends, so here I go...

    When I graduated with my law degree and became involved with my wife, I didn't have a great job. Her family thought I was using her, but in their next breath they needed someone to represent them in Court. They never had a problem with my always being available because I didn't have a great job. Now i have a great job. 

    My family has leeched off of me for years. They have this ability to find the one thing that will guilt me into helping them. I have recently learned how to say no. To both families.

     And now I am the bad guy. 

    I have a real job. I work from home. I work 50-60 hours per week. Every week. Yet my family believes that because I am at home, I have time to represent them in Court, go visit, take them to appointments, babysit...

    Does any one else have this problem with their family? Why is it that just because I do not go to an office, they don't take my job seriously? I have the dream job! I just thank GAWD that they don't know our plans to create our own family. We'd for sure be forever the "bad guys."

    Ugh.  

     

    I feel you 100%, here is a little back story....

    Right after high school I got my Associate Degree in Business. I got bored with all the entry level positions I was being sucked into so I decided "I want to do hair" so I got my cosmetology license. After I finished Cos school, I realized I was kidding myself because being a stylist in OH does NOT pay the bills. So I finished my B.A in Business Management and am finishing my Master?s program now.

    I (with my partner) have 3 kids to take care of, go to school full time, work a full time job 8-5 in logistics (stress) and yet I get all kinds of guilt trips from family as to why I can?t Cut, Highlight, Color their hair FOR FREE any time they need me to!

    I, like you, stopped doing it! Every time someone asks I say, my schooling isn?t free neither are my hair do's. Maybe they think I?m a B***h but all well! I don't have the time!

    Just stick to your guns!

     

    A 

    Thank you! You totally get it. I did forget to mention that ANY legal services given to anyone in my family or my DW family was always FREE. FREE. FREE. Lawyers charge upwards of $300 an hour where I live and I never charged. When I stopped and my SIL asked me to do a custody hearing, I told her I would not. She then had the nerve to call me and ask if $1500 was "too much" to pay another lawyer. Then got a new car.

    That actually happened.

    Keep up the great work, A! You have your priorities in check! 

    TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 
    • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
    • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying


    image
    image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Twinkler2011Twinkler2011
    imageGoaliesWife123:
    imageTwinkler2011:
    imageGoaliesWife123:

    My DW is still on the hiking trail and unreachable and I consider you all friends, so here I go...

    When I graduated with my law degree and became involved with my wife, I didn't have a great job. Her family thought I was using her, but in their next breath they needed someone to represent them in Court. They never had a problem with my always being available because I didn't have a great job. Now i have a great job. 

    My family has leeched off of me for years. They have this ability to find the one thing that will guilt me into helping them. I have recently learned how to say no. To both families.

     And now I am the bad guy. 

    I have a real job. I work from home. I work 50-60 hours per week. Every week. Yet my family believes that because I am at home, I have time to represent them in Court, go visit, take them to appointments, babysit...

    Does any one else have this problem with their family? Why is it that just because I do not go to an office, they don't take my job seriously? I have the dream job! I just thank GAWD that they don't know our plans to create our own family. We'd for sure be forever the "bad guys."

    Ugh.  

     

    I feel you 100%, here is a little back story....

    Right after high school I got my Associate Degree in Business. I got bored with all the entry level positions I was being sucked into so I decided "I want to do hair" so I got my cosmetology license. After I finished Cos school, I realized I was kidding myself because being a stylist in OH does NOT pay the bills. So I finished my B.A in Business Management and am finishing my Master?s program now.

    I (with my partner) have 3 kids to take care of, go to school full time, work a full time job 8-5 in logistics (stress) and yet I get all kinds of guilt trips from family as to why I can?t Cut, Highlight, Color their hair FOR FREE any time they need me to!

    I, like you, stopped doing it! Every time someone asks I say, my schooling isn?t free neither are my hair do's. Maybe they think I?m a B***h but all well! I don't have the time!

    Just stick to your guns!

     

    A 

    Thank you! You totally get it. I did forget to mention that ANY legal services given to anyone in my family or my DW family was always FREE. FREE. FREE. Lawyers charge upwards of $300 an hour where I live and I never charged. When I stopped and my SIL asked me to do a custody hearing, I told her I would not. She then had the nerve to call me and ask if $1500 was "too much" to pay another lawyer. Then got a new car.

    That actually happened.

    Keep up the great work, A! You have your priorities in check! 

     

    Haha you too! Any time you need a reminder that you are NOT a doormat...I'll be here!  

    BabyFruit Ticker
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