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New mother & baby fever

CCabrera93CCabrera93
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

Hi everyone. I know a ton of mothers have posted nearly about the same thing, but I need to talk to someone about it.

 My husband and I have always wanted a big family, as in at least four children. I gave birth to our first child the end of January (2013). With everything that has occurred since the birth of our son, I'm wishy-washy. I go back and forth from wanting another one to being one and done.

 I say that I want another baby, but I don't know if its simply because ours is growing up so quickly. I love our son so much. I'm just not sure how I'd do with another child. I feel like I'm so attached to our son that I won't treat them the same, that I won't love them as much as I love our firstborn. I don't want to be a bad mother. I don't know if this is common new mother worries or what.

 I don't ever feel like I don't want anymore children because I didn't enjoy pregnancy or being a mother. Its the happiest that I've ever been. I loved/love each and every moment of it.

 Please, someone help me. My husband wants another child so badly, but I need to figure this out first. 

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Re: New mother & baby fever

  • rjeller32rjeller32 member

    If you don't feel 100% ready, don't pressure yourself. I remember before DD2 came along, I had no idea how I could love another child at all. She is my whole world. It's definitely not being a bad mom, it's just lack of understanding how you can love more than one.

    I found that I love my second in an entirely different way, and if anything, I love my firstborn more. They both make my days great, and of course there are hard times, but I love every second. 

    I personally am glad I waited until DD was16 months old to TTC. I got to enjoy her baby stage completely focused on her, and when DD2 was born, I felt like I wasn't cutting her short of her baby days. Now she helps me clean and cook and entertain her sister.

    Just do what works for you, and let your DH know completely how you feel. 

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  • sschwegesschwege member

    Your love doesn't divide, it multiplies.  I worried about the same thing and I can tell you that I love both of my children the same.  I will admit, that in the very beginning after DS was born I felt a stronger attachment to DD.  I know in my heart I loved them both equally, but I think DS was so new that I was still getting to know him, where DD and I had been together the last two years.  I would say it took a month for that to pass and now I feel like I can't remember a time before them and love them more than words can say.

    I wouldn't make a decision right now as to whether you want more kids.  Let your son be the baby for awhile, let yourself forget the newborn stuff and then think about what you want to do next :) 

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  • momofmanyinthemittenmomofmanyinthemitten member
    imagesschwege:
    Your love doesn't divide, it multiplies. nbsp;I worried about the same thing and I can tell you that I love both of my children the same. nbsp;I will admit, that in the very beginning after DS was born I felt a stronger attachment to DD. nbsp;I know in my heart I loved them both equally, but I think DS was so new that I was still getting to know him, where DD and I had been together the last two years. nbsp;I would say it took a month for that to pass and now I feel like I can't remember a time before them and love them more than words can say.I wouldn't make a decision right now as to whether you want more kids. nbsp;Let your son be the baby for awhile, let yourself forget the newborn stuff and then think about what you want to do next :nbsp;


    This exactly.
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  • amykins1283amykins1283 member
    DH and I knew we wanted a 2nd child after our first came along but it still took until our DS1 was just over 2 years old before we felt ready to TTC. They are 3 years apart and it is a really good age gap. DS1 is mature enough to be helpful and handle the changes that come with being a big brother.

    That being said, I had a difficult 2nd pregnancy and a difficult recovery. Tack on trying to care for DS1 at the same time and it definitely took me longer to bond with DS2. Now, though, I love both my boys equally but differently because they definitely have different personalities. I am super glad we had another.

    Now I am trying to convince myself that we do not need a third. I don't want to be pregnant again but I can't shake the feeling that, deep down, I really want one more.

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