Unmarried mommas going for #2.

Jillwithani · June 2013

Where does A12 think about this? We want to try for 2 next summer but are worried about our families reaction. We'll probably be engaged by then but until his credit score goes back up and a few things are paid off I don't see a legal reason to combine his pile of debt with my pile of debt and tank my credit score so we can buy a house.

Maybe a non-legal commitment ceremony will shut down the peanut gallery.

Tula214 · June 2013

Honestly, I wouldn't even worry about it. It's your business. One of my cousins was with his woman almost 10 years, and had 3 kids together before getting married.

Everyone in my family, and SOs mentions weddings all the time to me. I tell them this is 2013, and babies don't equal wedding anymore.

amaite · June 2013

If that's what you want to do, then go for it. And I wouldn't go out of my way to do something just to appease the peanut gallery.

Jillwithani · June 2013

Tula214:
Honestly, I wouldn't even worry about it. It's your business. One of my cousins was with his woman almost 10 years, and had 3 kids together before getting married. Everyone in my family, and SOs mentions weddings all the time to me. I tell them this is 2013, and babies don't equal wedding anymore.

And weddings also don't always equal lifetime commitment.

britvahok · June 2013

We're not married yet but have been together for 5 years. Our plan is to be married before having #2. In your situation I would be more concerned financially supporting another baby if you have piles of debt but that's just my opinion. But if having another baby makes you and your SO happy, I say go for it and not worry about reactions from family.

nopegoat · June 2013

Mathieu was not planned. We ttc Rhett for like 8mos. Rhett was 6mo old when we finally decided to get married. We had a lot of side eyes, rude comments, ect but we didn't care. We did what was best for us and on OUR schedule not what everyone else thought we should do.

Don't worry what others say or think. Do what is best for your little family.

sourapplemartini · June 2013

JSYK, his debt doesn't affect your credit score if it's in his name. It will only do that if it's joint debt (applied for in both your names).

megmb24 · June 2013

We are getting married this summer and probably won't be trying for another until after that point. Not because we will be married, butr because financially and emotionally we are no where near ready for #2. Everyone is different. Do what is best for your family regardless of what others think.

Cheerilee · June 2013

Being unmarried is NBD in my opinion. The only time I judge is when you're on baby daddy number 3, who you're on and off with, and TTC just because you want a girl. This would be DSS's bio-mom.

Mrs. Rohde · June 2013

kikimo327:
Honestly, if the only thing holding you back is what your family will say, then who really cares? Personally, I'd work on getting my debt down before trying for #2, but that's JMO.

this.

Andreabks · June 2013

its not your families business. i'd say if a commitment ceremony will give you peace of mind (keeping family off your back) then go for it, otherwise just wait until things are paid off and do the full thing. no need to do it twice.

AmySmolos · June 2013

sourapplemartini:
JSYK, his debt doesn't affect your credit score if it's in his name. It will only do that if it's joint debt applied for in both your names.

This. My hubby didn't have good credit when we married but it didn't effect mine. We want to pay down some bills before number 2.

WhitEm14 · June 2013

My sister had a two year old and was KU with #2 during her wedding ceremony. Honestly, no one made a deal of it at all. I wouldn't worry about your families' reactions. Do what feels right to you

Jillwithani · June 2013

To clarify our debt is student loans. They're low interest but not going anywhere soon.

ashS10309 · June 2013

kikimo327:
Honestly, if the only thing holding you back is what your family will say, then who really cares? nbsp;Personally, I'd work on getting my debt down before trying for 2, but that's JMO. nbsp;

This exactly. The wedding can wait I'd just get financially situated better and try for 2.

ashS10309 · June 2013

Jillwithani:
To clarify our debt is student loans. They're low interest but not going anywhere soon.

Oh. Well I don't think student loans bring down your credit score much because they are stable debt.

Jillwithani · June 2013

ashS10309:
Jillwithani:
To clarify our debt is student loans. They're low interest but not going anywhere soon.
Oh. Well I don't think student loans bring down your credit score much because they are stable debt.

This thread proves how much I really know about finances. Maybe it would be good to meet with an advisor. I've got a 740 and he has a 620.

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Unmarried mommas going for #2.

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