Am I overreacting? Daycare question...

jessica_gail2 · June 2013

So this is the second week LO has been going to daycare. This place was the one we got the most good comments on while I was still pregnant, aside from the super awesome expensive one in town.

I'll preface by saying they haven't done anything horrible. LO is getting fed, changed, etc. But, I'm not sure how much attention or rest she is getting. Her naps are super short at 20 to 40 minutes (whereas at home she sleeps two to three hours), and I honestly don't know if I trust that she's ASLEEP that whole time at DC. Every time I pick her up, she's just sitting in this bouncer, and the girls are holding or tending to other babies. When she comes home, she's just not herself. She's exhausted. I know she's not used to the extra noise, not having her swing to sleep in (although they aren't forcing the crib on her and are letting her sleep in the bouncer), etc. Yesterday the girl that was in there said none of the babies had gotten any rest because one baby had screamed all day long.

There's also always somebody different in the room. Maybe 4 of the 6 days the same girl has been there first thing in the morning, and in the afternoon it's anybody's guess who will be in there. And these are all "GIRLS" - I guess they can drive but they're certainly younger than me.

Today when I went to pick her up another mom was getting her LO. S was crying in the bouncer (not screaming, but clearly fussing) and the girl in the room offered to hold the other mom's LO while she was getting her bag together, instead of going over to comfort S (I was heading to a different part of the DC to grab her carrier). When I got back in there and rushed over to S, the girl was picking her up finally and said not to fuss, that I was there to get her. I asked her if she'd been fussy today, and she said "Oh I don't know. I just got in here."

How is S supposed to get used to people there if there's always someone different? And how is it OK for them to not know what kind of day the babies are having?

I just don't know that I'm comfortable with this place. But I don't know if I'm just looking for reasons for it to be bad because nothing will ever be good enough for S. Am I being completely ridiculous by wanting to look for something different?

TJ1979 · June 2013

Dc is so hard! I was really upset by a lot of things in the beginning. First of all, you should know that DC is a huge adjustment for baby. E was exhausted for at least a month. They have to get used to napping in a different, louder environment, plus they are doing a lot more and having a lot more stimulation.
I would definitely voice my concerns to the director. Perhaps initially in the phrase of a question... How much should I expect her to be held, how many teachers should I expect to be in the room each day, etc. If you aren't happy with the responses or the response isn't meshing with the reality then by all means look around. It doesn't hurt to look. And you know she is at least safe whole she is there.
Do they have a video feed?

Run20K · June 2013

You have to trust your gut, but I will say that the first few weeks of daycare were truly an adjustment. Baby K didn't nap normally (overwhelmed by other babies) for a week or so. There were two main people watching her, but other girls would watch her when they went on break or there was a shift change. I would give it a couple of weeks at least. I was super critical at first but my baby is so attached to the girls that work there. I've also been there when every baby is screaming and they just can't get to all the babies at once.

ccam · June 2013

You're right - nothing will ever be better than your care, but you need to find somewhere you are comfortable with. If that means looking else where, then I would do it. I personally would give it a little longer though.

Just wanted to share a few things about our experience with daycare. First, DS took a while to get used to the napping there. The first few weeks were a really hard transition and he'd come home exhausted and cranky. But, even though I never thought he would, they get used to sleeping with all the noise. Our daycare has a down time - around noon the lights go off, curtains closed, soft music, so that all the kids can be put down and try to sleep. This is when DS sleeps the best, but he still does take a shorter nap in the am when there is a ton of noise.

Also, there are 2 main "teachers" in DS's room. It feels like the kids are kind of assigned to one of the two and we consider one his main teacher. She comes in early in the morning and leaves before I even pick DS up. So when I pick him up the other teacher is there along with a floater, who will always be different depending on who is there. At first I was worried about the different people everyday, but at least there is one teacher that is consistent and is able to tell me how his day was. All of the employees are certified, too, and none of them are high schoolers or anything. Most of them have an early education degree, which was important to us.

firewife9278 · June 2013

ccam:

Also, there are 2 main "teachers" in DS's room. It feels like the kids are kind of assigned to one of the two and we consider one his main teacher. She comes in early in the morning and leaves before I even pick DS up. So when I pick him up the other teacher is there along with a floater, who will always be different depending on who is there. At first I was worried about the different people everyday, but at least there is one teacher that is consistent and is able to tell me how his day was. All of the employees are certified, too, and none of them are high schoolers or anything. Most of them have an early education degree, which was important to us.

Ours is set up very similarly to ccam's DC. Depending on the number of kids, there are 1-3 "main" teachers per room (the ratio at this age is 1 teacher to 4 kids). In DD's room now there are 10 children, so there are 3 teachers. Each teacher is assigned as primary caregiver for up to 4 children. All the main teachers are certified early childhood teachers, and most of them have a college degree (or are working towards a college degree) in early childhood education. There are 2-3 float teachers who cover breaks and afternoons, but the same float covers the same rooms, for consistency. The minimum age is 18 to work at our center as a float, and DD's primary teachers have been 24, 26 and 27.

The two infant rooms (6 weeks-6 months and 6-12 months) are on demand, so it is an adjustment to napping, since the children get to eat and nap on their own schedule. It was tough at first, but honestly, after about a week or so, DD was fine! And now, in her current room (12-18 months) and every room from now on, it's a set schedule. The children nap from 12-2:30pm. They start laying them down around 11:45 (after lunch). The lights are off, curtains closed and soft music plays. It's amazing, actually, because DD keeps this schedule at home now too.

In my experience, be as vocal as you want to the director of the center. Speak your concerns. They can monitor the room if you/they think something is amiss. Even if you think it's just a small thing, talk to the director. That's what they're there for! And give it a little more time. After LO adjusts, I think you'll find that you love DC.

jensahokie · June 2013

Run20K:
You have to trust your gut, but I will say that the first few weeks of daycare were truly an adjustment. Baby K didn't nap normally (overwhelmed by other babies) for a week or so. There were two main people watching her, but other girls would watch her when they went on break or there was a shift change. I would give it a couple of weeks at least. I was super critical at first but my baby is so attached to the girls that work there. I've also been there when every baby is screaming and they just can't get to all the babies at once.

I agree...I've done this 3xs since I was on active duty for all 3 girls and it is an adjustment. There are days where I stay an extra few minutes now that I have a more flexible schedule and play with DD3 and other babies when a meltdown occurs and the providers are busy. It's not going to be one-on-one all day and to be honest, it makes for a well-adjusted kiddo I am always receiving compliments about good behavior and I attribute that largely to daycare. Realize that if you had to start sleeping in the same room with a bunch of other people, your sleeping pattern would change, too I will say that even though I know there are times DD has to cry it out, most days when I pick her up, she smells like one lady's perfume and I know she's been spoiled all day. DD2 went through the same class when she was born and I always feel good knowing they got snuggled and cuddled. All of my girls love the ladies and DD3 reaches her arms out in the morning for her favorite lady. You probably are coming in at the end of the day when the shift is changing or people are taking a break. We can't expect them to work 50-60 hour weeks - I didn't know the morning girls until I changed jobs because they never stayed until I picked her up and DH never knew the late afternoon girls. I'd say that's pretty common, although it IS frustrating when they can't tell you about the whole day... just part of the process.

It sounds like you guys are experiencing normal DC growing pains - it will get better!!

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