Preemies
pathfindermon
member
Options
Cry it out?
pathfindermon
member
in Preemies
Have any of you done the "cry it out" method with your lo? Long story short is that my DS is currently cosleeping with us. It wasn't something we planned on but it is where we are now. Now that my lo is 1, I'd like to transition him to his crib. We've tried and he just cries and cries. He gets so upset! The doctor said that we need to just let him cry but it totally kills me to hear him. I feel like its bad for him and that it will teach him that we're not there for him when he needs us. So I guess my question is how did you transition your lo into their crib? Did you do the CIO method? Would you recommend it? Thanks.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Cry it out?
I did CIO with my DD at 11 months old. She had been STTN since 4 months actual age and then in the course of a few weeks at 10-11 months actual, she popped 3 teeth and then learned to pull to a stand. She would stand in the crib at night and then scream because she couldn't sit back down. Every time you put her down, she would stand back up within minutes.
I was back at work at that point and could not deal with no sleep, so after a few nights of the stand and scream thing, I finally just let her scream her head off (no intervals, just cold turkey CIO). After about two hours the first night, she figured out how to sit back down from standing and passed out. It sucked and we felt like mean parents, but the next night it only took 20 minutes and then she was back to STTN again. I would do it again in a heartbeat, and will do it with this LO as well.
We let my DS CIO...it SUCKED at first but it was so worth it, for all of us. My pedi also reassured me that he was old enough to handle it when we started so that helped me feel better about it too.
I did not follow any particular method...I unfortunately do not remember the exact age I started, but it was last summer so he was probably about 6 months (4 adjusted). I didn't make him CIO cold turkey...I went in stages...the first time, I would go in and reassure him with my presence by picking him up, second time, I would just rub his back, and then I would let him CIO if he continued. I gradually lengthened how long I let him cry...a few times, my DH literally had to hold me back from going to him when I wanted to give in. I knew that if I did though, he would never learn to self soothe, and he would eventually settle down, but even just a few minutes feels like an eternity at those moments!
He is now 16 months (14 adjusted) and goes to sleep on his own with little fuss generally and STTN about 11 hours, give or take. Now when he wakes up in the MOTN and does not go back to sleep right away (crying), I will go in, pick him up and snuggle him for about a minute, then put him down and leave the room and let him CIO. Usually he will go back to sleep within a few minutes and often doesn't even cry at all and just lays down and goes to sleep on his own. If he doesn't go back to sleep right away now, it's usually a safe bet that he's teething.
It is not an easy thing to do at first, I had a hard time with it...you just have to remind yourself that it will be easier on him (not just you guys) to learn how to self soothe now than years down the road.
Good luck!!
It sucks in the moment, but it's so much better in the long run. We did it with both boys and they are excellent sleepers now and have been since they were babies. We'll do the same thing for DD when the time is right.
I have a friend who refused to let her son cry it out - he is now 6 years old and refuses to spend the entire night in his own bed. Now he has a baby sibling who is also a cosleeper, so her DH and DS are in the master bedroom every night, while she and the baby have been in the other bedroom for the last year. I'm not sure how that marriage is surviving.
We moved DS to his crib at 8 weeks with no issue, but we were still rocking to sleep. At 6 months adjusted we used Ferber because he was down to 10 minute naps and multiple wakings and we were all miserable. Before Ferber I'd also read Jodi Mindell's approach (also progressive waiting) but she suggests only attacking bedtime and the rest will follow, which didn't work for us. Once we moved to Ferber and figured out that we needed to tweak the interval checks to be 10 minutes (twice) and then 20, it took about a week. Naps took about a month overall to lengthen into anything significant, but I don't think that was a failure on CIO....just how DS was.
I would definitely read a few books before just cold turkeying it. At a year, for us at least, DS probably would have put up a much more stubborn fight.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
We started CIO with A when she was about 10 or 11 months old. She had been napping and sleeping overnight in the crib since she was about 4 months old, but we were rocking her to sleep. She was just getting to be too heavy, and we knew it was time.
We would make sure that she had a clean diaper and a fed her a bottle before putting her in the crib. We would turn on the Sleep Sheep, leave a blanket, and just go without looking back. We watched her on the monitor. We knew when she had a "whiny" cry and when she realized that it WAS bedtime and that she DID want that bottle. So, if it was hysterical crying, we would go back in, offer the bottle, relax in the chair, maybe read a book, and try again. A few times we let her hysterically cry, which resulted in her vomiting in the bed! So, we are pretty good at determining when to go in and when to let her figure it out.
When she is sick or not feeling good, I don't let her fuss for longer than 5 or 10 minutes. If she is fine, I don't go back in for at least 30 (unless she is hysterical).
I read a few books/methods and just kind of did bits and pieces of them to what worked for me. GL!
Me: PCOS DH: Low everything (MFI)
Clomid with TI x 3 2010 BFN
Clomid+IUI+Ovidrel 2010 BFN
IVF w/ICSI #1 2011
9/8/11 Beta #1: 2082!! 9/19/11 Beta#2 34,689!! U/S 9/22/11 HR 127! 11/8/11 HR 150! 12/6/11 HR 136! 12/14/11 HR 139! Born at 26w2d on 2/4/2012! After 83 days in the NICU, Adalyn came home on 4/26/12!
FET 1 3/2013 BFN
FET 2 5/2013 BFN
I didn't agree with the idea of doing full-on CIO, so we did a limited form of it. I started by letting her cry for 5 minutes at a time, then I'd go in, soothe her, and put her down. If it lasted too long or it seemed like she was getting really worked up, we scrapped it for the night and repeated the next night.
We never let her cry more than 15 minutes, and we paid close attention to how she cried. If it sounded like she was really upset, we put an end to it. I know some people do full CIO, but I just don't like the idea of plopping a kid in bed and saying, "here, cry yourself to sleep."
We did read several books from different perspectives on it before starting.
FTR, all kids are different. With DS, he gets inconsolable after just 5 minutes, so it's taking a much longer to teach him.
I didn't do CIO and Lo is a great sleeper. He had bad reflux and and use to throw up when getting too upset, so I decided to avoid CIO, even though I wanted to do this at first. I got books about CIO and not CIO like Baby whisperer, I never had the time to read the books entirely but some of the main highlights in both methods which I implemented. What worked for us was to have a structured routine, a set schedule for bath, bottle and bedtime, swaddle and white noise. I would rock him and put him to bed. He would wake up rarely and still does but goes right back to sleep.
Good luck with the method you choose!