I think I'm about to open a can of worms (ADD/ ADHD)

Re: I think I'm about to open a can of worms (ADD/ ADHD)

• Ginlyn0 member

  June 2013

  These days it's just ADHD with an indicator like inattentive or hyperactive type. ADD is not really used anymore. For example, my DD has the inattentive type which is what they used to call ADD but her diagnosis is ADHD. Here is a link that shows the DSM IV criteria https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html. The new version (DSM V) is slightly different but I can't find the criteria.

  I took DD for complete neuropsychological testing without her BD's consent. At the time, I had a protective order against him and he wasn't allowed near me so it's not like he could have gone anyway. Plus all the testing was done with out a parent present. There were of course parent questionnaires I filled out.  However, that said, in my state joint custody specifically gives either parent the right to consent to anything other than non-emergency surgery. I sent him a copy of the findings and told him if he had any questions he could consult her doctors.
  

  The problem with possibly not having another parent on board is when it comes to medication. For example, DD's BD does not "believe" in ADHD nor that she has Asperger's so he will not give her ADHD meds on his time, but she doesn't really need them on his time because she's not in school then. He never did contact the neuropsychologist or the psychiatrist which served as my second opinion so he just believes what he wants.
  

  
  

  DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)
  
  

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• sweetdreamz6700 member

  June 2013

  I've opened this can of worms recently....and it was closed quickly I'm afraid. I discussed my suspicion that SS2 is ADHD with FI.(On the CDC link, SS has 6 of the 9 inattention symptoms and 7 of the 9 in hyperactivity-impulsivity) FI agrees....but won't do anything to address it.

   I feel so sad for SS knowing that he could get help and things could be easier and yet nothing is being done about it. He gets in trouble for things that he doesn't seem to be able to control. I'm to the point that I'm considering asking BM about it but don't want to overstep my bounds.

   Good luck with everything. Gin gave some great insight/experience!

  

  
  

  

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• Pamelacake member

  June 2013

  My 10yo DS has the same type Gin was speaking off.. the inattentive or ADHD.

  I was in denial at first because I wasn't seeing the signs at home, I told his Kindergarten teacher that wasn't something he would just be able to turn off when he got home. I finally took him to see a psychologist about it when his 1st grade teacher was sure he had it, I spoke with the school counselor.. everyone would always tell me how bright he was.. he just couldn't sit still and wouldn't do his work. I was ready to homeschool him.. that's how much I was in denial.

  Until the teacher invited me in to sit in her office while the kids were in class. I watched my son for about 45 minutes. Do everything but his work. I was in tears! He never acted like that at home. I then took him to the DR. after talking to everyone about it that I needed to at the school

  I'm sorry, I didn't have the issue of having another person or parent's approval.. I would say, if you can get the school involved the school is a really big influence and if you have to get it in a court order. They will definitely not like it if the child's grades are hurting because of it, and if it needs to be done and you're noticing it at your house..He's probably doing it at theirs too. Good Luck!! 

  

                                                     

                                 

   

  My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5 

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• AmeliaKris member

  June 2013

  That's a tough one. We are considering having SD tested this year. She struggles a lot with school. We held her back a year which helped tremendously but she is still taking 3 hours to complete homework at night. Ive literally watched her rolling around on the floor trying to do her reading. She also gets overwhelmed with things that require decisionmaking and attention ...like cleaning her room. This takes her days because she distracts so easily. BM only gets her occassionally on weekends so she wont need meds then anyways. Bm doesn't ever question DH choices since she knows she is responsible for 50 percent and doesn't want to deal with bringing it up. We hope to start testing this fall. Good luck.

  

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• fellesferie member

  June 2013

  Do people have COs that specifically say that you cannot take the child to a doctor without the other parent's consent? Or are we talking about the issue of joint legal custody?

  Honestly, unless I was specifically prohibited from doing it (ie, my CO states that I shall not take the child to a doctor without XH's written consent) I would take him to see any doctor I pleased. I'd probably let XH know if it was something serious/new, but I wouldn't ask his permission.

  I think that interpreting 'joint legal' as 'I cannot take the kid to the doctor without permission' is too broad of an interpretation. Would you hesitate over an ear infection? Mental health is as important as physical health.

  We're currently in the midst of getting DS evaluated for ADHD. He meets (depending on who you talk to) 5-7 of the inattentive type criteria. XH is aware he's being seen by a neuropsychologist. When we have a dx, I plan to let XH know and ask him if he has any input on how he would like to proceed. 

  I get that it is different for NCPs. But get a diagnosis. Get a second opinion. If BM refuses to treat a diagnosed condition, go to court. 

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