Friend hated our name!

Missmarched · June 2013

I broke my own rule and asked a friend for help in choosing between Vanessa Claire and Vanessa Rose. She didn't like either! So now I'm wondering how many other friends or family members will respond negatively. What if they all hate it?! I'd rather know now than after I sign the birth certificate! Should I ask people IRL for their opinions or keep it private until the baby is born? What's the worst thing they can say?! Uggghh..so bummed!

Mochadoodle · June 2013

Keep it private.

hopefulmom81 · June 2013

I think it is so weird to tell someone who you care about that you don't like the name. That wasn't your question.

If they all hate it, who cares, it isn't their kid and they don't have to call them by their name multiple times a day every day.

If you love it, go with it!

Bexx24 · June 2013

Always private. Vanessa is a perfectly fine name.

Belle3184 · June 2013

My best friend HATED my daughter's name (Emerie), but I used it anyway. My husband and I love it! What matters is what YOU like.

sarahbeth27 · June 2013

Keep it private. In my experience, people are much more likely to say negative things about the name before the baby is born. If you wait, and the name is actually attached to a real, living, baby - they'll either keep their opinions to themselves or will feel differently about the name b/c its attached to the sweet baby..

FWIW - Vanessa Rose gets my vote.

erb82 · June 2013

Remember that naming is a personal style. Would you let this friend redecorate your house? Or plan your wedding? Just because you love someone doesn't mean they have to like your style choices (or vice versa). I'm terrible at keeping secrets so everyone always knows our baby names ahead of time, and some people are brutally honest. You have to have a thick skin if you decide to share the name- people are much more likely to be honest before the baby is born than if you wait until after.

kayjay10 · June 2013

hopefulmom81:

I think it is so weird to tell someone who you care about that you don't like the name. That wasn't your question.

If they all hate it, who cares, it isn't their kid and they don't have to call them by their name multiple times a day every day.

If you love it, go with it!

This. I personally wouldn't care if every friend I have hates DD's name. DH and I love it and that's all that matters. But to answer your question, keep it private. FWIW, I love both Vanessa Claire and Vanessa Rose!

zg49 · June 2013

I can see why you're bummed. It's perfectly fine to try out the name with other people but like PP said, if you love it and they don't, try to not let it bug you. It doesn't matter what they think if you and DH love it.

It's up to you from this point if you want to keep it private. It's kind of fun to share once you make up your mind but you'll have to keep in mind that some people may react the same way. If it bums you out too much then keep it private and once the little one is named they will likely not say anything!

FWIW - I love both options!

whoopsybaby · June 2013

The worse they can say is pretty bad and might turn you off a name you love. Keep it private or screen it here instead of IRL. Honestly, I think if people are polled during pregnancy, they will be blunt and "helpful" because the name is still floating in the ether instead of being firmly attached to a person. FWIW, Vanessa Claire is adorable.

TheWop · June 2013

hopefulmom81:
I think it is so weird to tell someone who you care about that you don't like the name. That wasn't your question.
If they all hate it, who cares, it isn't their kid and they don't have to call them by their name multiple times a day every day.
If you love it, go with it!

Yes

Ignore your friends. Vanessa is a fantastic name.

apc1929 · June 2013

If you love the name don't cave so quickly! I bet she has some names in mind that you probably would hate. Vanessa is a great name- Either stop sharing it or get ready for every single person to have a different opinion. People get influenced by names all the time that don't reflect on the actual name (maybe there was a mean vanessa in her school, or a distant cousin she hated etc.)

katie6/26/04 · June 2013

We kept it private until LO was born, but we were struggling with which name to go with so we finally gave our two options. I was not expecting such a strong negative reaction since I thought they were both really nice traditional names not heard that often but easily recognized (Emilia and Veronica). I was talking about the popularity of each name according to the SS website. Well, 2 relatives wrinkled up these noses and said " well not what I expected" in a disappointed tone while the other said "maybe there is a reason it isn't high on the list!". When they left my hospital room I cried and just felt terrible that I might give my child a name that would get such a negative response. I ended up calling the only friend who I had been discussing names with during my pregnancy and she helped talk me down lol. We ended up going with Emilia, have said which nicknames we are ok with them using and everyone seems to have gotten over it now (she's 8 weeks old). Neither one are bad at all. I like them both but would probably go with the MN Claire since Rose is such a common MN.

iErica · June 2013

Who cares, honestly? It only matters that you love it

It's your child. Everyone has different tastes, and you will never ever find that EVERYONE loves a name you choose.

megemoney · June 2013

Personally, I don't give a rip what others think of the names we've chosen. If you love Vanessa, use it. Keep it to yourself if you fear negative feedback. Your daughter, you get to make the decisions!

Dr.Loretta · June 2013

It's one person. Don't extend her opinion to that of everyone else you know.

Why do you care if other people like the name so much? if you love it and think it would work for your daughter, it really doesn't matter.

To be honest, I'd be telling everyone, and I'd probably find out that a lot of people like it.

queenbone · June 2013

Who cares if your friend doesn't like the name? I find that the people that don't care for our baby names usually have baby names that we hate too.

You will make this process way too difficult if you are searching for outside approval.

CeCe8579 · June 2013

hopefulmom81:
I think it is so weird to tell someone who you care about that you don't like the name. nbsp;That wasn't your question.nbsp;If they all hate it, who cares, it isn't their kid and they don't have to call them by their name multiple times a day every day.If you love it, go with it!nbsp;

I agree!

minervacullen · June 2013

Personally, I don't give an F what people think. My DH took forever to like anything I picked. Dang it, it's staying! We did break down and tell a few people and some were meh, others said they loved it. Of course DH had to spell it his way, rolls eyes.

Missmarched · June 2013

Well thanks everyone for jolting me back to reality. My friend called me and apologized for being so harsh. Apparently, she has a bad association with the names Vanessa and Claire. Regardless, I realized that everyone's opinion is somewhat biased and based on their own personal experiences. I have decided to keep our name private. I have good associations with the name Vanessa and do like the idea of honoring MH's grandmother who was a beautiful and high spirited woman with a beautiful and underused name. She always loved her name and received many compliments on it, and I hope my DD will have a similar experience. I'm pretty confident that we're going with Vanessa Claire.