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Didn't ever think it would take this long

MDMom2512MDMom2512 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Hello,

First, let me explain that I just created a new profile. My old one was used through the knot and my first pregnancy, and for some reason I used my entire maiden name. I guess that I am also looking for a fresh start after these past few weeks.

I went to my initial prenatal appointment on 6/4. Should have been measuring over 8 weeks. The ultrasound showed only about a 5 to 6 week growth with no visible heartbeat. We were shocked and felt pushed out of the office too quickly with no answers. They told us that they had no way of telling if it was a viable pregnancy for another 10 days and I could have just ovulated late.

We spent 10 days trying to stay positive and distract ourselves with our busy toddler. I calculated every possible ovulation scenario to match the new dates. 

On 6/13, we went for the follow up ultrasound. There had been growth in the two sacs and still no heartbeat or fetal pole sighted. This time the doctor was excellent about talking to us and explaining that he was 99% sure that we had a blighted ovum. However, since I was not having any bleeding or cramping he wanted to make 150% sure and scheduled us for another follow up today.

(graphic) On Friday the bleeding started. The cramping has been intense at times, even causing me to vomit from the pain. The bleeding has not been to the point of going to the hospital but have passed many small clots.  

 I expect that the blighted ovum will be confirmed today and then we will find out the next steps. I guess that I am just having a hard time being in this limbo state for so long and now feeling like I have been losing the pregnancy for four days and trying to go about regular life. 

I am hoping that the doctor can give us definitive information today and that this can all be over so that we can move on and heal. I feel cold hearted in some ways for saying that. This has all been so confusing emotionally. I keep thinking that I would be approaching 11 weeks according to the initial date I calculated and I know that I shouldn't think that way.  

Thank you for letting me share.  

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Re: Didn't ever think it would take this long

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    apietro1027apietro1027 member
    I am sorry for your loss. I can relate to the state of limbo I had gone to the Dr on a Friday and the Dr couldn't find the baby went back on Tuesday there first opening found the baby but didn't measure right and couldn't find a visable heartbeat. Went back wednesday found the baby with no heartbeat. It was a horrible few days. I also just want to start to heal and find comfort knowing that it wasn't caused by anything I did or didn't do. I hope you can heal and feel better. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
    Me and DH 27 DD 4.5 TTC since June 2011 once IUD was removed Irregular AF since removal Fertilaid 9/2012-10/2012 finally regularity with AF 11/2012 spotting for a week no AF
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    I am so sorry for your loss, and that your experience has been more traumatic than it needs to be. We also had to go through that waiting period with our first pregnancy, and it was awful. Since I was tracking ovulation with OPK's and BBT, I knew there wasn't much room for error in terms of my ovulation date. We expected the worst, but had a tiny bit of hope that our second u/s would show growth and a heartbeat. Having experienced two losses, I can say that they have been the hardest thing I have had to deal with. Please know that things do start to get better little by little. Once your body starts to heal and go back to normal, the emotions start leveling out too. I think of my little angels every day, and I still cry sometimes but it's getting a little easier/manageable each day.
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    MDMom2512MDMom2512 member
    Thank you so much for both responses. The doctor's appointment went as expected and I am having the D and C done on Thursday. There is some comfort in knowing that will be the end point and from there we can move on to healing both physically and I hope emotionally. I am so sorry to hear of both your losses. Giving support to others in grief while you are still grieving is an incredibly selfless act. I hope to pay it forward when others in my life approach me in their time of need. 
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