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Well, well, well....what do we have here...

dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
in Blended Families

So as you may recall I am still friends with BF's exwife.  We texted a little bit over the weekend and she mentioned that her girls told her that BF's GF was not there this weekend.  They spend two or three nights there and it appears that her and her kid were not home.  They live there.  And I didn't ask or want him to but my FI asked my son if he saw her this weekend and he said no.  I don't want to jump the gun but I think they may have broken up.  We shall see.  It is very odd for her to not be there because from what I can tell they are ALWAYS together and it is especially odd that she would not celebrate Father's Day with him.  Especially since she was telling everyone that he was her kid's father now since her child does not have a father. 

Obviously I have mixed emotions about the whole thing.  I don't doubt he would find a new GF within months if they did break up.  After almost 2 years I think I have it in me to be nice to him if she is out of the picture.  I think it would be a real turning point for our coparenting. We shall see....

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Re: Well, well, well....what do we have here...

  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Why can't you after two years be nice to him even if she is with him?

    And they migh have broken up but she might have been away visiting her father or grandfather or any other situation. Time will tell.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • Sunday924Sunday924 member

    So you would rather them break up and then have other women in and out of your son's life?

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  • Annplus1Annplus1 member
    Why does his relationship status have any effect on your coparenting relationship? This is coming from someone who was left after ten years of marriage while pregnant and my xh is living with the ow. My xh's relationship had zero to do with my parenting relationship, unless I allow it to. And that would be unhealthy for me and my DD. And your interest in this should be a giant red flag to your FI.
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  • PamelacakePamelacake member

    unless gf in question was pushing x to do something that was harming your child, I don't see how this would effect anything. Maybe it will be easier to co-parent. Every situation is different but I don't get from this post that co-parenting is your main concern.

    I don't word things the best when I post at times. I could be reading it wrong.

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  • HisChamaoleGirlHisChamaoleGirl member
    imageLittlejen22:
    Why can't you after two years be nice to him even if she is with him? And they migh have broken up but she might have been away visiting her father or grandfather or any other situation. Time will tell.
    I really wouldn't count on it. DH and I have been together for about 6.5 years and BM still has her high school moments. This chick here is much worse so maybe 8?

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  • 2chatter2chatter member
    I thought I might understand the point of the post if I read the responses.  But I really think I am still missing it.  Is the point that you would be happy if they broke up because ex will listen to you? 
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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member
    Her point is that he cheated on her with the GF and everything will be happily ever after with her out of the picture because you know it's the GF's fault he cheated and all.
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  • fellesferiefellesferie member

    Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't. 

     

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  • IlumineIlumine member
    DO NOT FEED THE TROLL
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    imagefellesferie:
    Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't.nbsp;nbsp;

    This! OP might hate the GF because he cheated with her, but now he could pick someone that isn't nice to DS.
    And...I agree with all the posters that say his relationship shouldn't make a bit of difference on how you coparent with him.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member

    imageLavender P:
    imagefellesferie:
    Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't.nbsp;nbsp;
    This! OP might hate the GF because he cheated with her, but now he could pick someone that isn't nice to DS. And...I agree with all the posters that say his relationship shouldn't make a bit of difference on how you coparent with him.

    ^^ All of this.

    Seriously, in all your hate-filled posts you never once offered up any examples of how "horrible" this woman is.  Ever.  You never said she treated your DS badly, you never said that she ignores your DS when he's visiting.  Seems to me that she wasn't a bad influence in DS' life, and now you're happy she's gone just because you have personal issues with her?  When does your DS get to come first?  When does your bitterness and refusal to let go of the past come second to your DS' happiness?

    Get over yourself and grow up.  Yes, BF cheated on you with the GF.  Big frigging deal.  She's not solely to blame in that equation.  But my God woman, move on already and quite worrying about what their relationship is like. 

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  • WWMSWWMS
    imagewendilea:
    OMG OMG OMG nbsp;maybe if they broke up, you still have a chance! nbsp;Do you realize how high schoolish you sound?Seriously, FFS, get a life.nbsp;


    THIS x1000!!!
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  • 2chatter2chatter member

    I totally missed that.  I am on the receiving end of that - BM is obsessed (and I was not the other woman, there was no other woman).

    Just a little strange to read this - I cannot get my head around it.

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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
    imagePamelacake:

    unless gf in question was pushing x to do something that was harming your child, I don't see how this would effect anything. Maybe it will be easier to co-parent. Every situation is different but I don't get from this post that co-parenting is your main concern.

    I don't word things the best when I post at times. I could be reading it wrong.

    Mainly this was my point.  She is the type of person that has pushed him to cut of all communication with me.  Any mature woman in her shoes would do what was best for my son and encourage respectful communication for the better of the child.  Obviously with her out of the way there is more room for improvement.

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imagedmndsr4eva:
    imagePamelacake:

    unless gf in question was pushing x to do something that was harming your child, I don't see how this would effect anything. Maybe it will be easier to co-parent. Every situation is different but I don't get from this post that co-parenting is your main concern.

    I don't word things the best when I post at times. I could be reading it wrong.

    Mainly this was my point.  She is the type of person that has pushed him to cut of all communication with me.  Any mature woman in her shoes would do what was best for my son and encourage respectful communication for the better of the child.  Obviously with her out of the way there is more room for improvement.

    So when are you going to start improving?   

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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member
    imagewendilea:

    OMG OMG OMG  maybe if they broke up, you still have a chance!  Do you realize how high schoolish you sound?

    Seriously, FFS, get a life. 

    Seriously, coming from the woman who refers to BF's wife as the Amazon?  I'd love to see your comments the day you find out they are getting a divorce.

    And I didn't say a single thing about getting back together with him. 

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  • dmndsr4evadmndsr4eva member

    imageLavender P:
    imagefellesferie:
    Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't.nbsp;nbsp;
    This! OP might hate the GF because he cheated with her, but now he could pick someone that isn't nice to DS. And...I agree with all the posters that say his relationship shouldn't make a bit of difference on how you coparent with him.

    Yes, actually it will make a difference because it is glaringly obvious that she has mandated that he not communicate with me.  It's pretty clear that if she is out of the picture we will at least have minimal communication vs zero communication.  When she is not there at the pick ups there is a huge difference in the way the exchanges go.

    And I can assure you he will not stay with anyone who mistreats my son.  He has proved that over and over by citing the reason for all of his break ups as the women were not nice to his daughters.

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imageLavender P:
    imagefellesferie:
    Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't.nbsp;nbsp;
    This! OP might hate the GF because he cheated with her, but now he could pick someone that isn't nice to DS. And...I agree with all the posters that say his relationship shouldn't make a bit of difference on how you coparent with him.

    Yes, actually it will make a difference because it is glaringly obvious that she has mandated that he not communicate with me.  It's pretty clear that if she is out of the picture we will at least have minimal communication vs zero communication.  When she is not there at the pick ups there is a huge difference in the way the exchanges go.

    And I can assure you he will not stay with anyone who mistreats my son.  He has proved that over and over by citing the reason for all of his break ups as the women were not nice to his daughters.

    Maybe the exchanges go better when she's not there because you're not sitting there shooting daggers at her with your eyes and making your hostility "glaringly obvious".

    Word of advice: Stop caring about BD's relationship.  I can tell you that it will end badly for you.  People are going to realize that you're obsessed with him and his life and they will start backing away from you.  It will get even worse when DS is in school and you continue this behavior around the parents of DS' friends.  BM in my situation still bad mouths me and DH every chance she gets (and it's been over 5 years) and now she is finding that no one at the school wants to be around her.  Parents of K's friends want to do playdates when K is with us, not BM.  Do you really want that future for your DS?

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    So you never answered my question about how you resolved things with your FI about not using eat poison around your young child.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imageLavender P:
    imagefellesferie:
    Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't.nbsp;nbsp;
    This! OP might hate the GF because he cheated with her, but now he could pick someone that isn't nice to DS. And...I agree with all the posters that say his relationship shouldn't make a bit of difference on how you coparent with him.

    Yes, actually it will make a difference because it is glaringly obvious that she has mandated that he not communicate with me.  It's pretty clear that if she is out of the picture we will at least have minimal communication vs zero communication.  When she is not there at the pick ups there is a huge difference in the way the exchanges go.

    And I can assure you he will not stay with anyone who mistreats my son.  He has proved that over and over by citing the reason for all of his break ups as the women were not nice to his daughters.

    If BD actually followed her "mandate" that he not communicate with the mother of his child, I would have no faith that he wouldn't be with someone who would mistreat his child.  Or maybe he didn't communicate with you by choice  because he realized that you were impossible to communicate with....

    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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  • Lavender PLavender P member
    imagedmndsr4eva:

    imageLavender P:
    imagefellesferie:
    Sometimes the devil you know is better than the one you don't.nbsp;nbsp;
    This! OP might hate the GF because he cheated with her, but now he could pick someone that isn't nice to DS. And...I agree with all the posters that say his relationship shouldn't make a bit of difference on how you coparent with him.

    Yes, actually it will make a difference because it is glaringly obvious that she has mandated that he not communicate with me.  It's pretty clear that if she is out of the picture we will at least have minimal communication vs zero communication.  When she is not there at the pick ups there is a huge difference in the way the exchanges go.

    And I can assure you he will not stay with anyone who mistreats my son.  He has proved that over and over by citing the reason for all of his break ups as the women were not nice to his daughters.

    If BD actually followed her "mandate" that he not communicate with the mother of his child, I would have no faith that he wouldn't be with someone who would mistreat his child.  Or maybe he didn't communicate with you by choice  because he realized that you were impossible to communicate with....

    "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu
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