Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
jutimala
member
Re: "Taking the easy way out..."
I hear that! Why people think it's the easy way out is beyond me. It is far from easy and how dare people judge us for it. Whether you elect to have one or it is medically necessary it amazes me that people think they can judge and comment on the choices you make for your body.
Every person, situation is different but I feel like I always have to defend myself. Perhaps get a dart set and throw them at her pic.....or every time you see her mentally visualize slapping the crap out of her!
This.
I hate "the easy way out" comment. Everyone who has said to me either never had to have a CS or they don't have kids.
I had no choice to have a c section due to my vasa previa. I had surgery last Monday, and the two days following we're horrific. Just today I was able to do errands and I was very tired and sore. My stomach is swollen and who knows when I'll get it back.
This is definitely not the easy way out for me. My baby is in the NICU and I am waddling through to see her, holding my belly. The ladies with vaginal births are sailing through, on some of them you can't even tell that they gave birth just days ago.
DOR and AMA
2/12-5/12: 4 IUI cycles = all BFN;
7/12: DE IVF # 1 (with ICSI)- 20R, 16M, 14F, 5DT of 2 blasts; 6 frosties = BFN;
Lupus anticoagulant initially high, then found to be normal on hematology consult;
Follow up testing in September all clear;
Started synthroid for "high normal" TSH;
FET # 1- late October 2012- BFP on FRER; beta # 1- 21(low), beta # 2- 48 (still low), beta # 3- 132, beta # 4- 1,293; beta # 5- 5,606; last beta- over 100,000. First u/s 11/21- heard heartbeat
12/12- Officially an OB patient!
Level 2 ultrasound at 20 weeks shows vasa previa and VCI
Referral to MFM and mandatory c section for delivery
Beautiful baby girl born at 34 weeks
Finally home after 15 day NICU stay!
Trying for sibling: FET # 2- May 2014; beta 5/31, BFN
FET #3, early July 2014; beta 7/14, BFN
DE IVF # 2- August 2014; 14R, 13M, 11F, 5dt of 2 blasts (3 AA), 5 frosties = BFN
FET #4- December 2014, yet another BFN
Dr. KK work up shows borderline uterine blood flow, elevated NK cells, and MTHFR mutation (homozygous for c677t)
Added baby aspirin, prednisone, supplements, Metanx, and intralipids
Switched to large clinic for final attempt; had endometrial receptivity testing in January; FET March 2015 = yet another BFN
Likely OAD- NBC
GSx1 - 05/13/2013
GSx2 for T&B - EDD 6/21/2015 - They're having a GIRL!
I just tell people that the Dr and I decided that a c-section was the safest route to go in our situation. I do not go on and on about it and try to not discuss it with people at all, frankly it is none of their business and I do not care what they even think.
100% this.
If anyone ever utters those words to me, I will throat punch them. The first time a csection was brought up to me, I was 41 weeks. The ultrasound revealed a 9lb 8 oz baby; I'm 5'2, small framed normally 120 prepregnancy. My induction date was scheduled for 3 days later, and the doctor told me to study up on macromasia, and the complications regarding small pelvis's and bigger babies (i.e. breaking their shoulders)
I CRIED the entire way home and all night. I DID NOT want a csection, but I also didn't want to knowingly put my baby in harms way and cause her to have her poor shoulders broken because I didn't want to deal with the long recovery. I was SUCH a wreck, and my husband and I decided that if I didn't go into labor on my own, than we would tell the doctor to do a csection. My fear was her getting stuck (she was still in -2 position) and then it would be too late.
I went into labor on my own the day before. I was so excited, especially because I thought that meant she would come out on her own. NOT. 26 hours later, I'm 9.5 cm dilated, need to push, epidural wore off....and she is barely hitting 0 station when I do push. just the top of her head. for hours! finally the doctor called it, and I was sent to the OR. I cried some more when I found out I needed the csection and cried afterwards.
My daughters safety came before anything else. My pelvis was too small to support her, especially since her head measured in the 95th percentile since birth and she was almost 9 lbs. If it wasn't for modern medicine we probably both would have died.
I had a very similar experience. 5'4", small build, same prepreg weight. Just not enough room. I went through the whole process of labor (even unwantedly natural for a while) for him to get stuck. His head was in the 90th percentile and just would not budge, his heart rate was dropping, my BP was skyrocketing. I wanted him to be safe and healthy though, and will never regret my decision. The only thing that ate at me was that I had a family member tell me about a week before I went into labor, that she did not think I would be able to do it (birth a baby vaginally) because of my size. I swear if she EVER says "I told you so" she will earn herself the death glare of all death glares... lucky for her she is family or she would have worse coming to her, even if only in my mind
It upsets me, and she has said it again since then, because someone else said that she was also having a RCS.
This thinking speaks of an ignorance that is not worthy of any of one's time. Although, the hormones made me say 'just shut up', which I normally wouldn't.
My first was not my choice. I was disappointed that my dr would not ok a vbac. By the third, I was over it. This is just how I have babies. Pushing a baby out does not make you a mother, any more than sperm 'donation' makes someone a father.
My 4th will be another RCS, and this baby will be loved by a mom as real as any birthed by body or by heart.