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Toddlers: 24 Months+
honeybee111
member
Moms of 2+ kids
honeybee111
member
OMG, how do you do it???
DD is 3, and DS is only 2 weeks, so I'm new at the whole juggling kids thing, but I almost cried right now out of panic. I was doing bedtime routine with DD, and DS was sleeping. DS woke up crying. I went to pick him up. When I came back, DD had had an accident(I think she's regressing a little bit in potty training since DS came along), and she was crying and upset about it. I put DS down to help her get cleaned up. DS started screaming because he was hungry. I ended up doing a crappy job brushing DD's teeth while holding DS, then sitting and nursing DS while reading DD a bedtime story. Now, both kids are asleep, and I am worn out by the last half hour.
Oh, DH was cleaning up in the garage. I could have told him to come in and help, but I kind of wanted to try it on my own, since there will be evenings when it's just me and the kids when DH works late. Up until now, we've been passing the kids back and forth, which I think works best, but won't always be possible. How do you handle two kids for bedtime routines?
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Re: Moms of 2+ kids
Cut yourself a break since your DS is so tiny! I understand you wanted to give it a whirl but I would have called in reinforcements at that moment. PP are right, you will get into a routine and that will make it much more do-able thus saving your sanity and giving your confidence a boost. With that said, there are times I wanted to cry (and did) during DD's first year when trying to PT DS, etc, etc, etc.
If one of us is not home for bedtime, DS "helps" get DD ready for bed or helps me bathe her. Once it's time for me to get DD in her crib, DS goes to play in his room or I put a short show on for him. When DD was very small, it was more difficult since DS was about your DD's age and i was still nursing and it took expoentially longer. I learned to read a book to DS and nurse at the same time all while we were in the rocker in the nursery. The transition from 1 to 2 is something!! Hang in there!
DH is usually home at bedtime but when he isn't I turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse in one room for DD1 and get DD2 ready for bed. Then I move onto DD1's routine. I don't like to use TV often but I also don't like my toddler in the baby's bedroom when I'm trying to get her ready for bed or it can get ugly fast!
Oh and you should cut yourself a break and just accept help when you can get it. 2 weeks is really early and #2 will get a little bit easier over time (and #1 more adjusted).
I didn't have to put both to bed alone until #2 was 8 weeks old.
At first I would put #2's PJs on and BF then put her in her snug a bunny chair while I did #1's routine. She sometimes would cry a bit and I would sometimes have to stop and tend to the crying.
Now I bathe both together. I get #1 out lotion PJs and in the snug a bunny chair the I finish #2's bath, lotion, teeth, PJs, books and last potty time. #1 is so much more relaxed with the warm water every night.
My DD was just over 3 when DS came along. For a lot of that first year, I felt like a failure as a mom because I thought juggling two was HARD! But like everyone else says, it does get better! For me the real challenge came when I went back to work and my DH was working a ton. I did hire a mom's helper for one evening a week for the summer and that helped. But mostly it took the younger one getting a bit older and more independent.
Also I agree with the person who said most of the time I tried to prioritize the older one because she would remember, the baby wouldn't. Hang in there.
I don't have much advice right now but wanted to assure you that it does get better! My DS1 is 3 now and DS2 is 7 months and I can tell you that those first few months were horrible! My DH travels out of town a lot and in the early months we were preparing to move from NY (in the middle of winter) down to FL where we are now and I was a basketcase on the nights DH was out of town (did I mention that I also work full time?) there were evenings I would drop both kids off at my SIL's house for a couple of hours just so that I could sleep on the couch.
Once the baby gets into a routine and your older one gets used to her brother it will get MUCH better, trust me. Just take a deep breath and remind yourself that it doesn't have to be perfect. Do what you can and prepare for the unexpected because no night will ever go perfectly or how you hope. I have found that it helps to have activities for the older one while I feed the baby or put him to bed. And I know a lot of parents out there are against TV but it really helps the situation to have some shows that DS1 can watch while I tend to DS2. GL and hang in there!