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January 2014 Moms
lrsb11
member
Dealing with a Bridezilla *RANT*
lrsb11
member
ok, I'm pregnant with my 2nd LO, and standing in a wedding in 3 weeks. The dress is forgiving, however the fabric is not. I look good but I'm super uncomfortable!!
Earlier the year, The BTB demanded none of her bridesmaids be pregnant at her wedding (not sure if she meant whale size pregnant or pregnant in general??? didn't bother to ask seemed like a rude request) but... well, we can see where I'm at in the defiance situation already. (honestly, why should I have to put my family on hold? and of course I didn't know it would happen at this exact moment!)
Anyway, she knows now we are expecting, and when I asked her if I could make a slight alteration so that I could be comfortable she responded with "I didn't ask you to get pregnant"
!!!!
She has been a complete nightmare this entire process, and all of her bridesmaids are terrified for the day with her behaviour! It is stressing me out!
Should I go ahead and make the slight alteration without even bringing it up again? Should I tell her the other option is I have to take the dress off after pictures because I won't be able to wear it the entire night? I feel like she is being completely unreasonable!
*Life Is What You Make It!*
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dealing with a Bridezilla *RANT*
Unreasonable is right - how dare she ask her bridesmaids to not get pregnant!?! Is she normally a reasonable person?
So you asked if you could make the alteration and instead of answering you she just berated you for getting pregnant (nice friend!!). I would go ahead and make the alteration - what other options do you have. You're pg, you should be comfortable!!
I think she is being crazy but I'm also a little confused. You said the dress is fine besides uncomfortable fabric. Changing the fabric would probably be a big deal and its probably uncomfortable to the other girls too.
ETA: I just read your idea for the alteration, I say do it!
Yeah...I also would've told her to suck it at this point. If the alteration is minor - such as taking the dress out a little so it fits better - don't even tell her. Do it and stand in her wedding; like she's going to notice you altered the dress anyway.
If the alteration will be more than that, and she goes crazycakes on you, it might be time to consider backing out. She's causing a lot of drama, and if she's going to make your life hell because she really doesn't want a pregnant woman in her wedding party, it may not be worth it to be in her wedding...
BFP #5 11/15/14, Team Green EDD 7/22/15
BFP #4 4/30/13, baby girl born med-free Jan. 2014
BFP #3 9/24/12, Missed m/c at 9w1d (baby measured 8w5d)
BFP #2 9/23/10, healthy baby girl born med-free June 2011
BFP #1 5/21/10, Missed m/c at 10w4d (baby measured 8wks), D&C 6/29/10
"Life is like a camera, just focus on what's important and capture the good times, develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, just take another shot."
The style of the dress is this:
Get a seamstress to line your dress in super soft t-shirt material. A friend of mind did this with her wedding dress, brilliant! No one will notice and you will be more cozy.
I'd love to know the alteration you want to do!
oh sweetie, we are definitely the same type personality! LOL I'm saving grace for my husband who is very good friends with the groom!! My tongue is just about bitten off!!
If it is important to you to be there for her and you think the friendship can be salvaged, I would do the alterations. Like others said I doubt she will even notice the alterations.
This.
I simply chose the colour for my bridesmaids and they got to chose their style as we had their dresses made from scratch. My MOH (my sis) was 4.5 months pregnant at my wedding and she chose a dress that had a lot of room in the tummy area. Each of my BM's had their own design of dress and they were all happy.
Also agree with PP's - I'm much less patient with people who are so selfish and would have told her to suck a lemon by this point. If she wants you to stand up with her, she should be able to work something out with you. If not, she clearly doesn't want you involved!
I say go with the alteration but don't mention it to her. Even if she finds out/freaks, she will understand how important it is to feel comfortable when she gets PG. Clearly the stress of the wedding is clouding her ability to feel empathy.
Hope you and the other maids survive this ordeal!
Married: 9.22.12 - DD: 1.7.14 - EDD 2: 10.30.17 - J14 OG
FWIW, I know I turned into way more of a bridezilla than anyone would expect from my personality. In the end, I didn't care as much about the little details as I made a fuss about. I think the stress of wedding planning just came out in the wrong places sometimes.
So I say cut her some slack about being unreasonable and just get the dress altered without telling her. She will never know.
What happens if the bride does realize and throws a fit? Should she still cut her some slack?
Agreed.
LOL.. my thoughts as well, since now that I mentioned it assuming she would be fine about it and wasn't, she's going to have her eye on me like a hawk seeing if it looks any different!
And you might say "but she'll be so excited about marrying her best friend".. she is concerned about herself and I feel she is losing sight of the entire point of this wedding! to celebrate herself and her new husband becoming one!
I meant cut her slack for making such a rude comment. I'm also not saying that the comment was acceptable in any way. I was going off the statement that OP said she was not like this until wedding planning started. If she continued to be unreasonable it would be friendship ender for me.
It wasn't just this one comment. Bridezilla was already being unreasonable for requesting that none of her "friends" be pregnant for her wedding.
OP, I would either back out completely or get the alterations done and not tell her. If she notices, she can either let you be in the wedding or not.
Agreed. She doesn't sound like much of a friend.
It never fails to amaze me how bridezillas are able to disregard the feelings and comfort of their friends and family because it's their Perfect Pretty Princess Day. Attendants aren't props - they are real human beings and are supposed to be those that are closest to you.
If you still want to stand up in this wedding I'd do the alterations you mentioned. It sounds like they will be quite subtle and it's doubtful anyone will even notice. I probably wouldn't mention it to the bride.
Would the two inches of silk fabric be visible on the outside? Like, two lines down each side of the dress (like tuxedo pants)? Or is this only to the inside lining, with the outside staying the same? How would she even notice if you took out the inside lining and left the outside as is?
I still vote for lining the dress in t-shirt material. Probably because I wish everything I owned was lined in t-shirt material right now.
I was just at the spawn of satan's wedding (mh's sister). It was flucking miserable, she made me sob like a child (in private) because I "couldn't do anything right" and kept ruining "her day" (I didn't, and I knew I hadn't, but she finally just broke me down). I know what you mean about keeping the peace for DH.
That's insane! I was just married in Feb, and I'm in 2 weddings this year (and attending 3 others...UGH). Both brides knew well in advance that we'd start TTC right after the wedding. I ordered both dresses 2 sizes up. First is in a month from now and I'm waiting until 2 weeks before to have it taken in and making sure they leave a little space. There's a few hours between the ceremony and the reception, so as soon as pictures are done after the ceremony, I'll get to relax in yoga pants for a while
One of the bridesmaids was actually pregnant when we were dress shopping, so that was great, we got to see it on her.
Second wedding is mid September. I'll be over 5 months by then, and that dress is definitely more fitted. But the bride is awesome and because there were two of us TTC she had the shop order extra fabric so we could add panels if either of us were very preg by then.
Honestly, I'd get panels added either on the sides or on either side of the zipper in the back. You won't see either in any pictures, and even if you do, that's so easy to photoshop out.
BFP 5/19/2013. MC 7/2/2013 (9w6d) with est. loss at 8w. Miso 7/3/2013 and emergency D & C 7/6/2013.
BFP#2 11/6/2013. CP 11/14/2013.
BFP #3 12/13/2013. Beta #1 @ 15dpo- 239. Progesterone 27. Beta #2 @17dpo - 90. CP 12/21/2013
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -Philippians 4:6-7
All PgAL and PAL welcome.
This, entirely. Being a bride is absolutely no excuse to treat people poorly. I know planning is stressful, DH and I planned and paid for our wedding within 4 months. Lots of late nights, prayers and tears involved and I wasn't nasty to any of my bridesmaids. Also, my sister was pregnant during my wedding. My dresses were all the same color, floor length but I let the girls pick their own style. She picked something that didn't show off her pregnant belly.
If the bride has that big of a problem with the alterations I'd back out, no hesitation. Really, a friend would be excited for your pregnancy not nasty about a little alteration. To think that a little alteration to make your dress more comfortable is going to screw up her big day is laughable.
I'm no seamstress but your alterations sound like they would show. Generally, you can't add material just to the inside of a dress without it looking different on the outside. Which would make you look different than the other bridesmaids and cause problems. Can you just cut slits in the lining of the dress ? If you leave the bottom hem intact it won't flap. but you could cut the slit all the way up if you needed too.
Maybe I'm just one of those people that is willing to suck things up but, personally I wouldn't make any alterations to the dress if I could fit into it. To me I can stand being uncomfortable for a few hours instead of causing a big fuss about myself. Believe me I know about being uncomfortable I preformed on pointe in a weekend long show last weekend. None of my costumes fit well but I managed because I committed to being in the show and wouldn't back out on such short notice.
Due June 25 2017
Don't let her get you down about being pregnant, some people don't have the luxury of choosing the right time and planning around others' lives... But even more so, no one should ask or expect you to!
no, they won't show at all, the outer layer of the dress is chiffon and the inner layer is the satin (which if I go to the same seamstress who made the guys matching ties, still has the satin fabric) its just to split each side seam and expand the inner layer. The skirting MAY poof out a little more than the other girls, but that could easily be blamed on my "child bearing hips" or the fact I had the gall to get pregnant before her wedding
Some days when I'm having a cranky day I figure leaving her down a bridesmaid is the best thing to do, for my own sanity!! I think DH is seeing a lot of it, too and even he is ready to let me do my thing and say how I really feel !!
yea! The outside will look 100% the exact same as it did prior! It's just the inner layer of satin I would add the same colour satin,and the chiffon would cover it!
How was your SIL prior to and after the wedding? did she apologize or anything? This girl didn't even thank any of us for the bachelorette we threw for her... IN MY HOUSE!
I can't wait to meet you Neva Margaret Rebecca