IF Rears Its Ugly Head Again!

wordslikeswords · June 2013

DH and I aren't actually trying. We're just not preventing, thinking "Well we're infertile, and we'd want another one anyway, so whatever happens happens". For a while we weren't ready but figured we'd make it work. Well now I do feel ready. We're still not trying/not preventing, but every time I realize it's technically possible I get all.. hopeful. And I analyze symptoms and think "ooo what if!?". I know I'm going to get my hopes dashed again. And again. We have 3 frosties but were waiting to see what my kidneys do. We're pretty religious and kind of operating under "Well it's so incredibly unlikely that if it happens it's meant to be".

Is anyone else in a similar position? I really thought it would hurt less after I had one, and for me... it doesn't really. I know that sounds awful. I don't mean to or want to. I just... still have those wounds. And I guess I wanted to vent/look for solidarity?

ELF4321 · June 2013

I'm not in the same position, as we only ever wanted one, but I think the IF feelings never really go away. Hugs.

TJ1979 · June 2013

Huge hugs! I'm in a similar boat. We are trying, but the completely ok fashioned way. No charting, no temping, no meds. I know there's almost zero chance of it happening. And yet I somehow have stupid high hopes that I know will get crushed month after month. I don't think the IF pain ever goes away.

kmc84 · June 2013

We are not there yet, but we decided that I won't go back on any BC after I am done BFing. We would be so happy if I got PG without much effort. DH does not want to do IF treatments again. I'm afraid that I will get to a point where I will want to do treatments. IF sucks.

Mrs.AmyDylan · June 2013

We are officially trying without preventing. I got my first PP period Memorial day weekend. So I haven't had my hopes dashed yet, since I haven't had a full cycle. We are staying with my parents for a few weeks due to a massive house project. I'm not expecting much this month due to our accommodations. We don't have frosties, so it would be a start over from the beginning IVF cycle. Sigh.

Hugs to you. IF sucks.

LuvWIfootball · June 2013

It's impossible for us to get pregnant naturally due to Dh's retrograde ejaculation, yet I still get excited when I see EWCM and I get sad when AF comes around. And this has all occured during the last two cycles after having my triplets. Yes, call me crazy, but I'd already love to try for another baby and I hate that it's not possible without doing a FET. I think it's all part of wanting what I can't have (an unassisted pregnancy) and will probably never go away.

Ms H13 · June 2013

We're definitely not planning to use BC ever again - like most everyone here, the odds of us having an oops baby is slim to none. And we would be overjoyed if that happened. We still have 2 frosties that we will use during a FET cycle at some point, if they don't take I'm not sure what our path will be. GL to you.

Mr. & Mrs. Woodtick · June 2013

I think I?m in a pretty similar situation?kinda?. We got pregnant with DS on a break cycle and had decided long before that we would never use BC again. After AF came back I was hopeful that we would get PG again on our own, and we have twice, but neither have stuck. Now I?m more convinced that DS really was a fluke and that we will have to go back to the RE, but I don?t want to. The only times I?ve ever gotten pg have been naturally, but there is obviously something wrong with me.

It doesn?t hurt less for me either and I also thought that it would after I had one. In fact, now I sometimes feel greedy for wanting another.

jensahokie · June 2013

IF never goes away, at least not for me. I've had TWO amazing surprise BFPs while being overseas and away from our frosties. Despite having 3 perfect, perfect girls, I was still crushed when our recent FET didn't work. I am sure this sounds horrible to many of you and I might have wanted to throat-punch you myself about 5 years ago. However, I'm committed to our frosties and hate to lose any of them, especially after storing them for so long and even shipping them across the country. We have always believed in keeping and using them. And DH seems to think he has super semen now, but it is just not so and I've already said that if the next FET is unsuccessful, he is getting a SA immediately. I am not going to stress myself out through every cycle, trying for one more, wondering what his count, morphology, motility looked like. It is just too miserable.

imoverit · June 2013

Im right there with you. I was hoping we would conceive on own and got my hopes up each month but when it didnt happen I was bummed that treatments were inevitable. Damn it!!

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