2 Months

JessicaG220 · June 2013

Today is two months since Ava left us. It still boggles my mind that I am sitting here at work, 10 days before my due date, and there is no baby in my belly. Yesterday sucked... My family and I went out for dinner for Father's Day, and my mom and sister couldn't seem to understand why I was sad. That annoyed me. It was like, yes I am aware that it's Father's Day, not Mother's Day, but that doesn't make it any less significant. My doctor said Ava would more than likely be born early, so DH and I both thought she'd be with us on Father's Day. It hurts. So we didn't even go to my parents' afterward to visit. It sucks that no one fully understands unless they've been here. I know in my mind that she's gone, but my heart can't accept the gaping hole that she used to fill. I start to feel like I'm not making any progress toward healing, but then I remember the days I spent crying and laying on the couch, and I realize I am slowly recovering and that it's ok to still feel sad.

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · June 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

It's ok to still be sad. I was sad on Mother's day and yesterday too and could tell DH was the same way. Last year we didn't even bother going to see family or do anything on either Father's or Mother's Day so kudos to you for even going out to dinner. I left it up to DH last year as far as what we did and he didn't want to do anything so we didn't. I'm sorry your family didn't understand. It makes it so much more difficult when people don't understand nor attempt to try.

cawettig · June 2013

It doesn't seem like two months has gone by has it? Father's Day sucked for us too. We tried to avoid the topic, I started crying and DH asked what is wrong and I told him how I was looking forward before to saying Happy Father's Day to him. Then on the way home from his mom's house he heard them say it on the radio, I could tell he started to cry and tried his hardest to stop.

Are you guys doing something special today to remember her? For the last month and two month anniversary we ordered hot wings and lit her candle we bought specially for her. Hot wings was what I craved all the time with her, I have never had them before because I can not handle any spice. I cry when I have them now because again I can not handle eating them because they are too spicy. Hang in there, the markers always suck. Hugs

OSUWifey09 · June 2013

***SIGGY WARNING***

It's definitely still OK to be sad. At two months, I was still drowning in grief and trying to figure out how each day could go by without my son here. Mother's Day was really hard for me this year, and I think it will always be hard for me and for loss moms; same with Father's Day. I'm sorry that others around you just don't get it; it really sucks. But you're definitely not alone [as I'm sure you know; you've always got us]. *hugs*

JessicaG220 · June 2013

Thanks for the support, ladies. I knew you would understand! It frustrates me that my mom (whom I loved dearly) cannot understand why I'm still so sad. She was trying to make me feel better by making jokes and telling me I needed to cheer up... which only made me feel worse. She allllllways uses the same cliches. "Everything will be ok" "You'll have another baby" "Everything is fine" I appreciate what she's trying to do, but she misses the point completely. It's like she avoids telling me that it's ok to still be sad.

DH and I will do something together tonight and think about her. We are both taking her DD of June 27 off of work, so we will commemorate her that day with a visit to the cemetery and some flowers. God, I am dreading that day.

princezjk · June 2013

Since tomorrow is one month since my loss, I don't have words, so I will just send you (((hugs))) and good thoughts that you make it through your day.

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