MIL Monday? Open Letters?

MrMrsandBaby · June 2013

Either one! After this weekend, I think we may have some good MIL stories, but open letters are fun too!

Happy Monday (?) everyone!

MrMrsandBaby · June 2013

Dear Neighbor,

I have no nice words for you, ever, but this morning you are LUCKY you didn't answer your door at 4:30 when I rang your bell - TWICE. It was 4:30 in the morning, why the HELL did you have your flucking guitar plugged into the amp? I can't wait for your a$$ to get evicted in a few weeks. I hope you have to live in your car - or the street in a box like a hobo for the rest of your life. Maybe then you can play your crappy songs and get some money. Although it would be to shut you up because you can't even play a scale right.

Keep it up, I will start calling the cops - there are noise ordinances in this city you know.

Signed,

Your neighbor who already wakes up too early and has dealt with your BS for four years.

jmccall79 · June 2013

First of all, the GIF is hilarious!

Dear Craptastic "Father" of mine,

I use the term Father loosely here. You did not call/text/send me a card for my birthday, so all you got from me for Father's Day was a text. My birthday is really just another day, so that in and of itself isn't a huge deal. But from the same aspect so is Father's Day! However, if you do this year what you've done in the past(call me days late and want to argue that 'that' day is my b'day) I may have to cuss you! Am I being childish about the whole thing? Yes, but I don't care.

Sincerely,

Your daughter who just doesn't give a crap!

Dear Tooth in my son's mouth,

There's only one more of you that needs to come through and all that's left for a while are 2 year old molars. Last little tooth, your matching partner showed up this weekend, will you please come on out? You're wreaking havoc on my son in many aspects! I'd really appreciate if you'd pop on through so we can be done with all the drooling, diarreah, terrible burned booty from the diarreah, the rash on his face, and all the snot! I understand that this is just part of him growing up and he has to get teeth, but him and teething have not gotten along well at all and I'd really like for him to get a break from all this for a while.

Thanks,

A mommy who's tired of seeing her son in so much pain!

DaizyMay22 · June 2013

Dear kids,
I know its not fair that mommy and daddy are super stressed right now but if you could be good in the car for the 8 hr drive we will have later today that would be great. We love you and we are so glad you are giving us so much joy and muxh needed comic relief right now.
Love,
Your stressed out, high strung mother

JessieJH · June 2013

Two for me: Dear MIL, I actually miss you since you and FIL went home a week ago. I enjoyed having someone to do all the cooking and laundry- folding three baskets of the stuff last night was no fun. Please come back!

DIL

Dear new Boss,

You are a douche. In our first week you did little other than talk about yourself, how you were 'top talent' at your last company and how my company 'begged' you to come here. Then you announce to me that my job is changing and will now totally suck. I love my job and learning that it's being carved up and I'll have 1/4 of the responsibility was devastating. So- I cried. I haven't done that before at work and now I know I look like an insane person. You ruined my weekend and now I think I need to look for another job- not easy in my role. ARgh.

Signed,

New on the job market.

lancyjo · June 2013

Dear Aria,

Please quit pooping 10 minutes after i lay you down in your crib. I realize it's a relaxing, calming place, but you're messing up your schedule. Please go back to pooping post sleepy time. Ok?

All my love, Mommy

jk382 · June 2013

lancyjo:
Dear Aria, Please quit pooping 10 minutes after i lay you down in your crib. I realize it's a relaxing, calming place, but you're messing up your schedule. Please go back to pooping post sleepy time. Ok? All my love, Mommy

Nolan does the same thing! Then he sits up and stares at the video monitor camera until I come and change him...silly kids!

CotterpinDoozer · June 2013

Dear DH,

Are you writing DD secret e-mails like that adorable google commercial? I really think you are..... we love you.

Love, An over extended, sometimes have to stop to appreciate it all Mom

jja0812 · June 2013

I wanted to have a small get together for my husband's 30th birthday. Since we are short on space, my SIL offered to have it at her house [I did NOT ask]. Huge mistake. She and my MIL took over and managed to completely suck the joy out of the day for me, from passive aggressive remarks about every single detail, to inviting random people and turning it into a combo birthday/Father's Day party. Like, I showed up and my SIL's inlaws, grandfather in law, and UNCLE in law were there. At my husband's birthday party. After he specifically told them that he just wanted a family thing because they kept trying to guilt me into having a huge shindig for him.

I tried not to show how annoyed I was because I didn't want to ruin my husband's day, but I was so mad! I'm not big on birthday parties for adults as a general rule, but this is kind of a milestone year and I wanted to do something nice for him. Wah, wah, I know. But I'm still pissed about it.

MrMrsandBaby · June 2013

Jessicameron:
I wanted to have a small get together for my husband's 30th birthday. Since we are short on space, my SIL offered to have it at her house [I did NOT ask]. Huge mistake. She and my MIL took over and managed to completely suck the joy out of the day for me, from passive aggressive remarks about every single detail, to inviting random people and turning it into a combo birthday/Father's Day party. Like, I showed up and my SIL's inlaws, grandfather in law, and UNCLE in law were there. At my husband's birthday party. After he specifically told them that he just wanted a family thing because they kept trying to guilt me into having a huge shindig for him. I tried not to show how annoyed I was because I didn't want to ruin my husband's day, but I was so mad! I'm not big on birthday parties for adults as a general rule, but this is kind of a milestone year and I wanted to do something nice for him. Wah, wah, I know. But I'm still pissed about it.

I'd be pissed too! I hate it when people try to take over my stuff...butt out!

jengsu2004 · June 2013

Dear MIL,

If you actually gave two sh.ts about making the effort to come see your grandson considering you only live one hour away, you WOULD get to see him more! It is just too much for us to pack up all the stuff he would need for a day at your house and then make him sit in a hot car seat for an hour each way. While I'm on that, maybe if you made the effort to make his visits a little more fun and comfortable for him by having a high chair, a pack n play for naps, and some toys, we'd be more willing to bring him to you! My point is, get off your fat a.s, and make the effort to come see your youngest grandson! He cries when he sees you because he's scared of you...he thinks you are a stranger because he doesn't KNOW you! Quit making excuses...you KNOW you ALWAYS have an open invite. I hope you google me and find this...and wonder if it's me. It is.

Your FED UP DIL

Amberrrr · June 2013

Dear MIL
You're driving me insane.
Sincerely,
Me.

lancyjo · June 2013

jldetweiler:
lancyjo:
Dear Aria,

Please quit pooping 10 minutes after i lay you down in your crib. I realize it's a relaxing, calming place, but you're messing up your schedule. Please go back to pooping post sleepy time. Ok?

All my love, Mommy
 
Nolan does the same thing!  Then he sits up and stares at the video monitor camera until I come and change him...silly kids!   

Haha! Aria just starts hollering "mama! Tink! Tink!" I've always said, "oh this poop is stinky stinky!" when changing her poopy diapers, so that's what she calls them. It's cute... Until it messes up nap time and bed time!

jengsu2004 · June 2013

Ainslie325:
(My MIL is fine, so I'm taking this in a different direction)
Dear Musikgarten class in which my 15-month-old is enrolled,
I hate every fahcking minute of you with a fiery, abiding passion. While attending you, I constantly feel that my son in the only toddler in the world who prefers to put "rhythm sticks" and "jingle sticks" in his mouth rather than rhythmically create mock rainbows with them. You want to give him a big wooden hoop so he can push it around like a bonneted colonial child in Williamsburg? That's cool, just know that he's probably actually just going to attempt to run around the room with it as quickly as he possibly can, mowing down whoever or whatever is in his way. And those pretty polyester scarves you use for rhythmic waving, etc.? Yeah, he's going to eat those, too.
So what do I do? For a solid half hour, I gentle chide, "Please don't put those in your mouth, Henry; it's not clean, and they're for making music," then I extract whatever juvenile musical instrument he may have inserted in whatever orifice. Repeat, ad nauseum. Stand up, sit down, extract, correct, stand up, sit down, extract, correct, etc. And I PAID for this.
I want to jump off a bridge.
I want a drink.
My child needs a giant ahzz gym with inflatables and plenty of room to run his legs off. Or maybe that's what I need. What do I not need? Jingle sticks and songs about dickey birds.
Fahk.

Bahahaha! We are going through the exact same thing at our public library, except it's free. It's supposed to be super fun, and all the other toddlers dance and sing, but my kid is the one putting everything in his mouth and running wild! So embarrassing!

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