Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
nicoleh55
member
Re: Ever heard?
TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!! Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui)
#1 born December 2011
TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
#2 born May 2013
TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
#3 born August 2015
#4!!!!!!! due June 2017
IVF #1: 9/11: ER: 12R, 11M, 10F, No Frosties; 5dt: 2 blasts, 1 morula; DD born 6/3/12
IVF #2: 11/12-12/12: ER: 20R, 20M, 16F, 4 Frosties; 5dt: 3 blasts, DS born 8/9/13
my happy boy
This doesn't mean it was a good idea. The risks are still there she just got pregnant again quickly. I'm sure her dr didn't tell her it was ok to have her lo's that coke in age.
I was told to wait 12-18 months between pregnancies. We're one & done, but even if we weren't, I'd wait as long as my doctor advised me. The risk of uterine rupture and death isn't worth having back to back babies.
we are not trying yet, but THIS. You do understand why the doc told you to wait right? Your uterus has to heal and grow back together before it starts stretching out again with a new baby.... Vag birth is completely different case.
My OB called me at 4m to let me know my blood work came back fine. She then said if you get pg before 6m it will be fine. So if you want to try now, that's okay. We did and I got pregnancy on the first cycle. My c/s were a year and 20 days apart.
No blood work can tell you how healed your c-section incision is internally, or how thin your uterus is. Good for you, that your doctor cleared you to conceive, but the OP's doctor didn't, and likely for a reason, not just because.
He's my fairytale, a dream when I'm not sleeping.
<a href="http://s279.photobucket.com/albums/kk121/behapybride/?action=viewthis. my friend had her first in Oct 2012, and will have her second in early Nov 2013. She is 38, and had several losses and infertility, so she felt the need to have them close in age.
However? It's ROUGH on your body if you have a vaginal birth, and ever more so if you have had a c section.
No matter what your doctor says, I would personally wait until closer to the year mark.
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
My doctor told me this too, or she wouldn't even consider a VBAC because there is more chance of things going wrong. I am listening to her cause she is the doctor and knows best.
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
Yes, I listened to my OB's advice. If I didn't trust my dr's opinion I would find a new one. As you can see from this post there are LOTS of different opinions from OB's though. These posts make me stabby because people tend to act like their dr is the only one correct and all other dr.'s are putting their patients' lives at risk. My dr is head of OB at the hospital (not bragging or something, just saying that she is very educated and well-respected) and said that 12 months between c/s deliveries (when the first was uncomplicated) was perfectly safe in my situation, 18m for vbac. I took my dr's advice and made an educated decision to have our children close. I kind of resent the implications that I was irresponsible by "putting my life in danger" with another LO at home or however it was worded.
We ttc for 3 years the first time, I was 30, and we didn't know if we'd ever have another or how much time we'd have. So we "planned" to try and have them a year apart. We never imagined we would get pg the 1st time having sex pp with our history, but we did. I had complications during the pregnancy, but it was due to polyhydramnios (i.e. excess fluid and being as huge as a house). She gave the green light to try for a third to be due around the time my daughter is 18m+ so we did. I had a very hard pg the 2nd time. I'm not in denial that it's because the 1st and 2nd were so close, but my c/s didn't have anything to do with it. I would have been in that much pain and discomfort between vaginal births as well. My kids were huge, I'm tiny, and my body was just freaking tired of carrying so much extra weight.
ETA: and as far as uterine rupture fears- while it is obviously more common with a c/s, it is not just being pg that generally causes a rupture, it is the laboring during a VBAC. Even so it is very very low. A rupture is a catastrophic event that is extremely uncommon.
Unexplained Infertility
After two Clomid cycles, three injectable IUI cycles, two IVFs, two miscarriages, and one lap surgery, IVF #2 has brought us our little boy!
TTC #2
After months of being postponed or cancelled, FET #1.3 (Natural FET) brought us twin girls!
My dr. told me to wait 6 months as well. We were planning on ttc at 6 months but as you can see we got pregnant at only 8 weeks pp. We did NOT plan it. 1 night of too much alcohol and forgetting contraceptives. Towards the end they did pay close attention to try to prevent uterine rupture but I made it to 39 weeks and my RCS. And my easiest recovery out of 3 c-sections.
I would never recommend someone plan to have children that close when c-section is needed. That being said, I love my son and give thanks for him everyday.