Emotionally prepared ...loss mentioed

candaceleigh21 · June 2013

LOSS MENTIONED

A friend that I have known since 1st grade and now teaches me Zumba was 34 weeks pregnant with no complications and found out last Monday that they had lost him. So far, the autopsy returned no reason but they are waiting on blood work to come back. She had just had her shower the day before. First of all, I cannot FATHOM what they must be going through. Second, today is the viewing and tomorrow is the funeral. I would love to go and show support for her and her husband and so I see how this will sound incredibly selfish but I just do not know that I can see a baby casket without absolutely losing it. Since I found out, I have spent most days looking at DS and crying and praying and thanking God for him. Is there a way to go to the viewing without making myself crazy with paranoia and guilt for having a beautiful healthy child?

AOBtahoe · June 2013

Honestly, I doubt that there will be anyone there who will not lose it seeing a baby casket. I think the most important thing to do is to be there to support your friend- keep reminding herself that it's about her, not you. And I would definitely leave LO at home. Thoughts for her, that's a terrible thing to deal with!

Sillygirl85 · June 2013

No, probably not. It is hard, but you should go and think how much harder this must be for the family. That's the only advice that I can offer.

That and I think we should thank God that we have been blessed with happy healthy little ones.

candaceleigh21 · June 2013

AOBtahoe:
Honestly, I doubt that there will be anyone there who will not lose it seeing a baby casket. I think the most important thing to do is to be there to support your friend keep reminding herself that it's about her, not you. And I would definitely leave LO at home. Thoughts for her, that's a terrible thing to deal with!

Oh yea, B will be at my IL's celebrating Fathers Day. I am going with another friend that we have known since elementary school that also has children. Neither of us figured we would be able to manage it alone.

Mrs.G123 · June 2013

Baby funerals are horrible, it's so sad, but she needs your support.

cardiganmom · June 2013

Aww, ill be thinking about you. Any funeral is tough, especially a child's. But remember you're not going for you, you're going to support your friend.

candaceleigh21 · June 2013

So we went to the viewing at 5. It was rough. They had all of his clothes and shoes and all of his outfits with his name and initials monogrammed on them. It was on open casket. I hope like hell I never have to see anything like that again. Everyone there was a basket case except for the mom and dad. I figure they were heavily medicated because neither had any emotion. Just shells of people. That family will forever be in my thoughts and I will be hugging B extra tight tonight.

Petunia844 · June 2013

Well I had to come out of lurkedome for this and I'm sorry I didn't come lurk until after the wake, but I'm so glad you went. That is one week later than I lost Peyton and pp's are right....yes it is so hard for you but it's incomprabably harder for your friend, again I'm so glad you went.

I'd love to talk to you more about it if you want any advice for what to do or not do, what to say or not say. I'd also love to offer to talk to your friend. If she wants, you'd be MORE than welcome to give me her email and I'd love to email her. It was always impossibly hard for me to reach out so I'd be more than happy to email her. You should have my email already, so never hesitate to ask if I can do anything at all to help.

I've been exactly where she is, she is literally living a nightmare right now, so many thoughts for her and her family.

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Emotionally prepared ...loss mentioed

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