Advice ?

lindsaymcc · June 2013

So my aunt is SUPER excited about our upcoming little one. She's never had kids and we're fairly close, so she thinks of my sister and I's children as her own grandchildren. That said, she is also extremely sensitive and gets her feelings hurt easily.

She's been garage sale-ing and getting stuff for the baby. Now, I don't think I'm above garage sale stuff or anything, but I can be a bit of a germ-a-phobe in some instances. I also would feel much better if I could see the people that the used items come from.

Knowing this, when I got pregnant, I warned her - we live in a small condo, have no space for excess stuff, and there are certain used items that just gross me out. I found out that she just got us a mesh bath chair. Now, I know there is probably a way to clean this particular item, but I feel that this is one of those items that I would prefer to have new.

I'm very moody and hormonal today, but I'm super irritated - now I'm going to have to pretend to like the item and then have to go through the hassle of getting rid of it on my own. And I'm sure there will be many more items down the road that I'll go through the same process with. I don't want her to waste her money on things that I'm not going to use, but I feel she should have asked me before buying this stuff. I also feel that if I say anything about it, I'll offend her. Am I overreacting? How would you handle this situation?

CaitS07 · June 2013

I understand being a germophobe but at the same time someone is thinking of you and giving you gifts for your LO. I definitely think she'd be upset. I'd take the things she gives you and if they really are that bad or clutter-some, donate them to the local shelter.

DebateThis · June 2013

Smile, say thank you, and donate it. If she asks, be nice but tell her you had no room for it.

3Dewdrops · June 2013

I am super paranoid of offending people and/or confrontation so I'd probably try and find the same item but new.

[Deleted User] · June 2013

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Kello427 · June 2013

Another option she can keep it at her house for when the baby comes for sleep overs or baby sitting.

74dragonfly · June 2013

If the item is gross get rid of it, say nothing but thank you.

eleanorserina1 · June 2013

There's nothing wrong with your reaction. I would do the same. I'm buying new stuff and its my 2nd baby.

With my first in laws and mum bought me stuff I didn't like, at first I smiled and then took it back for an exchange for stuff I did want and like, or if in refundable I just got rid of it. That become too tiring. So in the end I just ended up telling them not to waste their money as my partner and I or friends had plenty of NEW stuff for the baby. If they still wanted to give then give vouchers or money fir when the baby did need NEW stuff.

I don't think it's rude. I'd think she will appreciate your honesty more. xxx

Rharold · June 2013

Say thank you, but you received one new as a gift.

babymama619 · June 2013

offend ehr and then blame it on hormones. Really you should nip this in the bud.

babymama619 · June 2013

offend her and then blame it on hormones. Really you should nip this in the bud.

MrsApplelovesMrApple · June 2013

eleanorserina1:
There's nothing wrong with your reaction. I would do the same. I'm buying new stuff and its my 2nd baby.

With my first in laws and mum bought me stuff I didn't like, at first I smiled and then took it back for an exchange for stuff I did want and like, or if in refundable I just got rid of it. That become too tiring. So in the end I just ended up telling them not to waste their money as my partner and I or friends had plenty of NEW stuff for the baby. If they still wanted to give then give vouchers or money fir when the baby did need NEW stuff.

I don't think it's rude. I'd think she will appreciate your honesty more. xxx

Not sure about all of this. I think it would be rude to basically say "keep your stuff but give me your money". If you really can't use or it or don't want to donate it to someone who needs it.

SharonB222 · June 2013

I am one to talk directly to folks (who care): tell her how much you appreciate her love and consideration, and that you would also appreciate her help to deal with some of your issues: germophobe and space constaints - ask her what would be better for her (when you need to do what's right for you); for example, about the chair - would she prefer you return it to her for re-gifting, or donate the item yourself? Again, you very much appreciate her effort; there's just some items you can't clean or place in your house... Hopefully she'll get an idea of items that are no-no's for you to avoid the situation (more or less) in the future. So glad you have caring aunt to dote on your babe!!! GL.

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