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February 2012 Moms
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I'm so stupid *Updated*

Ya Never KnowYa Never Know member
in February 2012 Moms

So, DD kept pooping in the tub. For the most part I just ignored it, cleaned it up, emptied the bath, started over, etc. etc.... But recently I made a huge mistake. When she'd start to poop in the tub, I made the mistake of trying to tell her "No poo in the tub." Then, about a week ago, DD started holding her poop in when she was in the tub. I was impressed that she understood what I was telling her, thought it had solved the problem, and didn't think much else about it. Later that week, we were in the tub again and she started going. She was trying to hold it in, but she couldn't, so I made another huge mistake of holding her over the toilet so she could go since I had enough time to get her there instead of her pooping in the tub. She pooped in the toilet, and I tried to get her excited about it so that she wouldn't be scared or anything. She was confused, but I plopped her back in the tub and that was that.

Well.... now what was just holding in poop in the tub has turned in to holding in poop all the time. This morning, she had to go and was trying to hold it in so much that she wouldn't eat.

I f*cked up big time, and now I don't know what I'm going to do to stop this behavior. I've created a monster and it's all my fault. I'm so stupid. :(

 

UPDATE:

On Friday, DD was holding everything in to the point where she was SCREAMING at daycare.. My DC provider put her on the potty and had the other kids cheer her on and she went.

Since then, she's still holding herself, BUT, she will poop on the potty if we put her on it. I don't know how I feel about putting her on the potty at this age, but she won't poop any other way at the moment, so I guess I have to roll with it.

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Re: I'm so stupid *Updated*

  • CotterpinDoozerCotterpinDoozer member
    I have no real advice, but could you put her on the potty whenever you notice her trying to hold it in?   And put her on the potty before meals, before bath time, etc...  She'll be okay... i know some kids can really start with constipation problems, so probably the more options/times you give her to poop freely you can prevent that before it becomes an issue?  GL!!!
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  • Ya Never KnowYa Never Know member

    imageCotterpinDoozer:
    I have no real advice, but could you put her on the potty whenever you notice her trying to hold it in?   And put her on the potty before meals, before bath time, etc...  She'll be okay... i know some kids can really start with constipation problems, so probably the more options/times you give her to poop freely you can prevent that before it becomes an issue?  GL!!!

     

    I'm thinking of doing this, but I'm also afraid that it might scare her out of going even more. :(

     

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  • MrMrsandBabyMrMrsandBaby member

    There is no way you could have anticipated this!  I tell Allison all the time not to poop in the tub (she has only done it once) and it didn't have the same impact.  This isn't something that could have been predicted. 

    I agree with cotterpin...try putting her on the potty.  Maybe get her a little one so she isn't so scared of the big one?  It's ok, she will get past this. 

    Lilypie - (JrNi)

    Lilypie - (y35Q)

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  • 2chatter2chatter member

    You are not stupid at all!

    All kids are super different.  ANYTHING you say COULD be the one thing they latch onto.  Seriously.  All three of mine have latched onto weird quirks, too.  You cannot predict it and you cannot think that analytically about every word you speak.

    I think the potty, with a baby ring on it, will help, because it helps them feel more like they need to go.  Make it fun.  Read her a book, give her a sticker when she poops - you can totally do this.  You could also celebrate poops in her diaper - YAY baby girl, mommy gets to change you!  And be fun and silly about it. 

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  • jmccall79jmccall79 member
    YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!! It sounds like it might be a good time to potty train her!!! If she knows enough to 'hold' it and not poop I think she'd really get the concept of going on the potty and telling you she needs to go. I say go for potty training!

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  • Lena122Lena122 member
    imagejmccall79:
    YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!!

    It sounds like it might be a good time to potty train her!!! If she knows enough to 'hold' it and not poop I think she'd really get the concept of going on the potty and telling you she needs to go. I say go for potty training!


    I agree with this. If she realizes that she has to poop and can control it, then she might be ready to train.
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  • sooner1981sooner1981 member
    imageLena122:
    imagejmccall79:
    YOU ARE NOT STUPID!!!

    It sounds like it might be a good time to potty train her!!! If she knows enough to 'hold' it and not poop I think she'd really get the concept of going on the potty and telling you she needs to go. I say go for potty training!


    I agree with this. If she realizes that she has to poop and can control it, then she might be ready to train.


    Take this for what it's worth, but our pediatrician and my husband have both said that "training" a kid by telling them there are only certain "acceptable" places to poop before they are mentally mature enough, usually after two, can lead to a childhood filled with constipation issues.

    My husband sees this all the time and reminds parents that the "awareness" of having to go comes way before the ability and mental maturity to know when a poop is coming, tell your parent, get to the bathroom in time, etc.

    if they start too early, they run the risk of either holding it all the time because that is "easier" than figuring out when it is appropriate to go, or "messing up" a few times, associating going to the potty with screwing up, and be super stubborn about it because it becomes a "control issue" that toddlers love to seize on.

    Now elimination communication, where you basically put it all on you to recognize the signs and get a kid to the potty, but don't make a big fanfare or alert the child when she has "failed" to use it correctly doesn't necessarily have the same effect because you are not putting the responsibility on her to get it right.

    Again, the above is just the opinion of my husband and the pediatrician we go to. I am sure there are lots of different opinions.
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