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January 2014 Moms
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Just a moment of frustration

StoofkStoofk member
in January 2014 Moms

So our families know...at least the close members. But I'm not ready for the world to know until my 2nd appointment in 2.5 weeks. My Mom is being completely unreasonable about this....she blew up today when I asked her to respect my wishes. We haven't had the greatest relationship, she had a rough childhood & my Grandma was anything but a good mother...but she tends to be depressed & quick to anger. So our personalities don't always "mesh".

 I still have fear that I could lose the baby (sometimes being on here & seeing losses at 9 & 10 weeks freaks me out). So I'd really like to wait until 12+ weeks to announce publicly. She doesn't get that...she's an "over-sharer" having put every little thing on facebook & sharing her business. But this is a big deal to me.

 So after a blow out & her telling me she isn't gonna talk about it anymore we got off the phone...am I being ridiculous & paranoid? I get she's excited its been 8 years since a grandbaby...but she's turning this positive life event negative.  

 I'm not sure what to do now...part of me wants to avoid her like the plague, but then another part of me feels like I should give in. 

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Re: Just a moment of frustration

  • MiaMyPuggleMiaMyPuggle member
    This is the reason that if I ever get pregnant again, I'm waiting until 2nd tri to tell EVERYONE. Family included!!!
    I had people come up to me in a store and congratulate me. I was LIVID. My mom said it wasn't her that told them. It's no one's business until I decide it is. They didn't have a mc in the past, so they wouldn't understand the importance for me to wait.

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  • HereWeGo2014HereWeGo2014

    WHy should YOU give in?  Its YOUR baby and YOUR news to share?  My mom was miffed too when I asked her to wait until we were ready, but so be it.

    Be ready to stand up for yourself and your wishes more and more in the next months, years, etc - but at the same time pick the battles worth fighting.  Parenthood brings out the crazy in everyone around you and there will always be someone thinking your decision is nuts.

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  • destiny0913destiny0913
    imageHereWeGo2014:
    WHy should YOU give in?nbsp; Its YOUR baby and YOUR news to share?nbsp; My mom was miffed too when I asked her to wait until we were ready, but so be it.
    Be ready to stand up for yourself and your wishes more and more in the next months, years, etc but at the same time pick the battles worth fighting.nbsp; Parenthood brings out the crazy in everyone around you and there will always be someone thinking your decision is nuts.

    I totally agree. This is your moment. Others should respect your decision.
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  • blacktammie2013blacktammie2013
    Whatever you do... Don't give in!!! It's just like a wedding.. The mother wants her daughters wedding like she had or a wedding she never had.. Moms always want more for their children than what she had. This is YOUR body, YOUR baby, YOUR life!!!! In my opinion, your mom should respect your wishes and wait to announce it publicly. Although, did you know she would act this way? If so, you should have waited to tell her when you tell your friends.. I know that sounds harsh and not so respectful but at the same time it probably would have saved you some grief. Remember, it's your time to shine, your time to enjoy this beautiful experience.. Momma had her time! Put your foot down :
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  • karah4816karah4816 member
    Don't give in, she should respect your wishes. The only person we've told so far is my mom and she hasn't told a soul and won't until I give her the go ahead

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  • jaclynwas17jaclynwas17 member
    I don't remember who it was but another poster had a similar issue where mom wanted to tell. OP said if mom told, it would be mom's job to also tell if there was a MC. I don't know how this would work with the Facebook world though. 

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  • cpm1223cpm1223 member

    Ugh that sucks that your mom doesn't get why you want to wait. I'd be frustrated too because this is YOUR news to share not hers! Don't give in at all, tell when you want to tell, not when she does. This is your life, your news, and your baby!

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  • sugarland726sugarland726 member
    imageHereWeGo2014:

    WHy should YOU give in?  Its YOUR baby and YOUR news to share?  My mom was miffed too when I asked her to wait until we were ready, but so be it.

    Be ready to stand up for yourself and your wishes more and more in the next months, years, etc - but at the same time pick the battles worth fighting.  Parenthood brings out the crazy in everyone around you and there will always be someone thinking your decision is nuts.

    Exactly. 100%. But next time, consider if she should be in the circle of trust people who find out early. It sounds like maybe she shouldn't be.

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  • StoofkStoofk member

    I honestly had no idea she'd be this difficult. I let her tell her two best friends who are like aunts to me & I trust wholeheartedly. 

     But I just asked for her to wait & she jumped off the deep end about how she won't mention my pregnancy again. Sheesh woman...slow your roll, it's 2.5 weeks away. We'll be able to share the good news over 4th of July weekend!

     I'm so upset that my own mother is making this a negative event...but I'm gonna stick to my guns, I'm not ready to tell yet. 

    And I definitely keep this in mind if/when we have more! 

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  • 2Dash2Dash member

    Sorry you have to deal with this - you have a right to keep it a secret - but since your mom doesn't agreee it probably won't be a secret much longer.

    We had similar issues with DS - so this time parents won't know until after my 12 week U/S.  I think at first DH wasn't on board (his family was the problem last time) - but he told me this week he is glad that we are waiting to tell

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  • Jen4033Jen4033 member

    I feel ya on the "over-sharing" family members. I have plenty of those. I wonder how I missed that gene. 

    I absolutely agree that this is YOUR news & YOUR baby.  Every mother to be should be able to experience the "sharing of the news" in her own way at her own time.  I think of it as kinda a special milestone for a mom-to-be. Especially if this is your first.

    Maybe it will appease her if you tell her she can be the one to tell "so & so" when the time comes. Just thinking out loud...

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  • jhunter89jhunter89 member
    I think this will be the first of many times you need to put your foot down. Don't give in, you'll be setting a precedent that will be very hard to change. I get she's excited, all our parents are, but it's not like you're taking anything away from her, she can still talk about it and what have you in 2/5 weeks. She just needs to learn some self-control and patience. Two things that will come in handy when the baby's actually here! 
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