- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Working Moms
ReeB83
member
The "Mom" At The Party
ReeB83
member
in Working Moms
My BIL and and his wife are a couple years older than us and are the ultimate childless couple; they make a ton of money, take lavish vacations and they party....HARD. In fact, that's my BIL's job: he's a party promoter and he owns two dance clubs. DH used to be all up in that scene too and when he goes to the club on occasion, he regales me with stories about people who are apparently very famous and some chick who takes a chainsaw to her chastity belt and rains sparks on the crowd (which is entertaining because......?)
BIL hosts two big events a year: one at Soldier Field in June and another in a big park over Labor Day weekend. It's a big deal and all the friends and family go. DH and my SIL count down all year. SIL is a younger mom with older kids and she manages to pick out the perfect outfit and makeup and has no problem dropping her kids off for the weekend to dance until midnight.
I'm not as comfortable dropping off my son and it's an "all ages" event so sometimes I bring DS fully packed with noise cancelling headphones, sippy cups, pull ups and snacks. He's not the only little kid there, we have VIP seating away from the craziness and last year MIL went too so she kept an eye on him while we mingled. He even fell asleep! I'm completely ready to leave with him at 8:30.
When it's just me and DH going, it's a different story. I am apparently too old for this stuff or I just feel that way. I'm never dressed right, my feet hurt, the music's too loud, I have no idea who any of these acts are and I can't dance. I can't help but to watch SIL shake what her Mama gave her without a care in the world while I'm text the sitter and wonder why I can't cut loose like that......or successfully wear that much body glitter.
Am I being appropriate for my age (30 in 4 days) and momminess or am I being uptight?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The "Mom" At The Party
Meh. It's perfectly normal to not be into that type of events. I was never into parties like that, even when I was in my early 20's. My idea of a good time is a fancy dinner with lots of good wine and good conversation.
I used to try and join my friends who would party like that, but then eventually I realized - what's the point? Why waste the time and money in something I derive no enjoyment out of?
Might not be your age so much as your kid's age. I'm 31 with 2 little kids and we don't really party anymore but I have a friend who has a 10yo and they will party now like we used to back in the day (but she didn't back then b/c she had a kid and we all didn't).
If you don't like the party scene that's fine, but you should go out and have some kind of fun you do enjoy, with just your H.
First, nobody should be wearing body glitter past high school unless it is Halloween.
Second, don't be that hard on yourself or her. If that is what she enjoys and you don't that is fine. Everybody has their own thing that makes them happy and everyone needs to find a way to "cut loose". I don't think it is fair to either of you to compare you and her.
Obviously, you love your kids but you also don't need to be sitting around texting the sitter all night. If you have to do that then maybe you need to find a sitter you can trust more in order to help you relax. You probably won't be dancing on the bar but maybe tapping your foot with the beat.
Well said!
Try to make the best of it and have as much fun as you can while you're baby free for a couple hours!
That is not my scene either.
I don't really like going out without my kid either unless it's for me and DH's date night or some activity I actually enjoy. Also, if I don't want to go then I don't use up babysitting hours suffering through it.
I don't think you're being uptight- you like what you like, and if you don't like the scene, you shouldn't have to go!
That said, I don't think I would say you're acting "appropriately" for a 30 year old Mom, because that implies that Moms who are 30 who like to go to clubs are inappropriate. I like to go out, and when I do, I tend to get silly and stay out too late and pretend I'm much younger. DH and I love to go relive our college years once or twice a year while DS is at my parents.
Shoot, I'm 37 and still want to let loose one or two nights of the year. It sounds to me that you're talking yourself out of a good time.
Get a sitter and have fun, please!
If it is not your scene, then it's not your scene. But I wouldn't blame motherhood. If you wanted to go and party hard, then you would.
in that situation, I would get a good overnight sitter enjoy myself. I would not bring my kids.
Yeah- if it was never your scene, then of course it's not your scene now. That was never my scene either.
But - I'm 43 and still like to get out occasionally and have a good adult time here and there too. Within the parameters of what my "scene" is.
And if that once was your scene and you're just falling into "but I'm a MOM now!" role.... eh, to each their own, but yeah, 30 seems awfully young to be going down that path!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Philo
Baby N conceived after 1 miscarriage and more than 2 years of TTC. Diagnosis was low sperm count. We found success after 3 months of anastrozole to increase DH's testosterone and one IUI.
Some charts
I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive. - Happy Gilmore
I'm not "into" that type of scene anymore at age 38 either. But I sure can get dressed up and go dance and have fun with just DH or my friends from time to time.
I think you should get a sitter and just go! If it sucks, then you can leave.
Uptight is a judgement call.
4 days shy of 30 sounds pretty young to my 44 year old ears.
Do what feels right for you, but I would say don't miss out because your child is with a sitter. He's having a good time too.
This, especially the second part. You seem to be judging your SIL pretty hard, and it's not warranted.
I also agree with needing to let go a bit and not spend all night texting the sitter. Look, it may not be your thing, but it's important to your DH, and if it were me, I'd want to be the one flirting and dancing with him and taking advantage of a sexy opportunity. And next time, the two of you can do something YOU enjoy. And, really, if it's all ages and your MIL was there, how much of a "scene" can it really be?
I'm not judging; I'm actually kinda jealous. She's the skinny little thing with the good hair and the cute outfits. I've always been kind of a nerd and lately I've been a little frumpty dumpty, which is probably why I stay in the house or at the playground.
And once the night falls, all the neon boobies start coming out and MIL goes home. That's usually when I make my exit.
This, I was never really the "party type" I'd go out now and then, but if I didn't go out, I wouldn't feel like I was missing anything. As for bringing your LO, I'd try to "break loose" in that aspect, find someone you are comfortable leaving him with, and just relax with your DH (however it's probably hard to relax with all of that loud music!)
I'll be 32 in a few months and I just can't stay out until 2am anymore... even if I didn't have to get up with the kids, my entire day after the party would be a train wreck. Let's have a nice dinner at 6:00, go to a movie, and be home by midnight, is that so hard to ask?
I agree!!!!!!!
I was going to throw a big 90's themed party, but we just moved so not only do we not have the money but we're also living out of boxes.
We just bought Six Flags Season Passes so we're going ON my birthday and the week after when the rest of my teacher friends are on vacation too. All we have to pay for is gas and pack a lunch to eat in the parking lot.
Maybe you need to ask SIL to take you shopping for something fun to wear for the night. Your DH would probably appreciate it!
I considered that. I asked the upstair's neighbor (BIL's BIL's girlfriend--yeah, our world is small) to do my makeup and help me find an outfit.
I used to party but I can't really hang anymore, I'm 32 now so we're about the same age. I think if the party is that big a deal I would go with DH and have fun as long as you can last! I wouldn't necessarily leave my kids overnight, I would try and have a babysitter watch them at my house so I don't have to move them when I get home. I would "try" and stay out until 1 am!
But I get that it isn't your scene. It's not my scene anymore at all and whenever I do go out I just stare at all the young skinny chicks and can hardly remember when I used to be one of them!
http://balletandbabies.blogspot.com