smoking update: I lost my sh!t

Nukke · June 2013

Four cigarettes back to back since 9:50 from my neighbours and I finally lost my sh!t. I can't breathe again, and my throat is killing me. I started screaming "what the feck? Smoke in your fecking apartment and keep your door closed! Keep your fecking smoke to yourself!!!! I don't want to smell that sh!t, do you hear me? KEEP YOUR FECKING DOOR CLOSED, AND STOP BLOWING IT OUT THE WINDOW!!" and then I slammed my sliding glass door.

I'm going to repeat this each and every time they smoke. Then I'm going to koolaid man through their apartment wall with a basket full of flaming dog sh!t bags.

BubblyDevil · June 2013

Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.

GoyaBean913 · June 2013

DED the visual you just gave me. Lmfao

Nukke · June 2013

BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.

Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them. Not breaking the rules either.

Nukke · June 2013

auroraloo:
Nukke:
BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.
Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them. Not breaking the rules either.
No, actually, you don't. Continue to scream obscenities at them and they will be within their rights to call the police for harassment and disturbing the peace.

They can bring it. I'll deny it, and I'll let the authorities know that it's not just tobacco they're smoking up their either.

luminousbluestar · June 2013

I say more power to you! It may be within their rights to smoke but they are exposing you to illness and in the future if you have an infant around that much smoke it increases their chance of SIDS. If you need to yell in order to shame them to be more respectful of their neighbors then I guess that's what you have to do. I can't believe the other responses on here. Are you seriously going to fault her for being an advocate for herself and her unborn child? Ridiculous.

DancingBallerina · June 2013

auroraloo:
Nukke:
auroraloo:
Nukke:
BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.
Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them. Not breaking the rules either.
No, actually, you don't. Continue to scream obscenities at them and they will be within their rights to call the police for harassment and disturbing the peace.
They can bring it. I'll deny it, and I'll let the authorities know that it's not just tobacco they're smoking up their either.
They can also call for disorderly conduct. And if you want to deny it, you probably shouldn't post it on the internet.
Most cops aren't going to give a rat's butt about a little pot smoking unless it's stocked up in large amounts.
So you'll LIE to the police, because you think your rights are more important than someone else's? Peachy.
Also, up there. not their. I'm going to be kind and assume that was autocorrect.

Sounds like she's just venting auroraloo. I'm sure if you were pregnant and in her position you might feel the same frustrations. Anyway, unfortunately the have the right to smoke where they want if its outside and in their apartment. My recommendation to you nukke is to move out to a duplex or save up for a house. That way, your little one doesn't have to get second hand smoke. I could personally never live in an apartment again, but getting a house is tough these dats and no walk in the park. Good luck. If you can't move out, ask them nicely and apologize for blowing up but explain that your obviously pregnant and don't want second hand smoke and don't want your kid to get second either when he/she is here.

VeraM22 · June 2013

auroraloo:
Nukke:
auroraloo:
Nukke:
BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.
Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them. Not breaking the rules either.
No, actually, you don't. Continue to scream obscenities at them and they will be within their rights to call the police for harassment and disturbing the peace.
They can bring it. I'll deny it, and I'll let the authorities know that it's not just tobacco they're smoking up their either.
They can also call for disorderly conduct. And if you want to deny it, you probably shouldn't post it on the internet.
Most cops aren't going to give a rat's butt about a little pot smoking unless it's stocked up in large amounts.
So you'll LIE to the police, because you think your rights are more important than someone else's? Peachy.
Also, up there. not their. I'm going to be kind and assume that was autocorrect.

It seriously drives me crazy when people correct someone else's spelling in a post just to give themselves that little bit more of the "I'm obviously better than you" feeling. It's an internet forum, typo's happen. Get over it.

I also think that if your neighbors are causing that much smoke to come into your apartment that you have every right to throw a fit and complain about them. My neighbors have every right to play music in their apartment but when that music gets loud enough to come through my walls I have every right as well to throw a fit and call the courtesy officer on them. I'm glad you stood up for yourself and probably other neighbors who have been bothered but are too meek to say anything themselves!

Nukke · June 2013

auroraloo:
Nukke:
auroraloo:
Nukke:
BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.
Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them. Not breaking the rules either.
No, actually, you don't. Continue to scream obscenities at them and they will be within their rights to call the police for harassment and disturbing the peace.
They can bring it. I'll deny it, and I'll let the authorities know that it's not just tobacco they're smoking up their either.
They can also call for disorderly conduct. And if you want to deny it, you probably shouldn't post it on the internet.
Most cops aren't going to give a rat's butt about a little pot smoking unless it's stocked up in large amounts.
So you'll LIE to the police, because you think your rights are more important than someone else's? Peachy.
Also, up there. not their. I'm going to be kind and assume that was autocorrect.

If you want to get into it and discuss Canadian or provincial law, it's actually not against the law for me to scream out of my window at them. In order for a cop to try to charge me with disturbing the peace I have to be in a public place. Even if I'm disturbing them IN THEIR HOME, I have to be in a public place when doing so.

They aren't breaking the law by smoking in their apartment, and I know the cops wouldn't bother showing up even if I let them know about all the drugs.

And I'm well aware I'm being "peachy". And that's why I titled this post the fact that I "lost my ***". I won't break the law, but I will go batsh!t crazy when I've dealt with this for a month straight now.

Nukke · June 2013

DancingBallerina:
auroraloo:
Nukke:
auroraloo:
Nukke:
BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.
Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them. Not breaking the rules either.
No, actually, you don't. Continue to scream obscenities at them and they will be within their rights to call the police for harassment and disturbing the peace.
They can bring it. I'll deny it, and I'll let the authorities know that it's not just tobacco they're smoking up their either.
They can also call for disorderly conduct. And if you want to deny it, you probably shouldn't post it on the internet.
Most cops aren't going to give a rat's butt about a little pot smoking unless it's stocked up in large amounts.
So you'll LIE to the police, because you think your rights are more important than someone else's? Peachy.
Also, up there. not their. I'm going to be kind and assume that was autocorrect.

Sounds like she's just venting auroraloo. I'm sure if you were pregnant and in her position you might feel the same frustrations. Anyway, unfortunately the have the right to smoke where they want if its outside and in their apartment. My recommendation to you nukke is to move out to a duplex or save up for a house. That way, your little one doesn't have to get second hand smoke. I could personally never live in an apartment again, but getting a house is tough these dats and no walk in the park. Good luck. If you can't move out, ask them nicely and apologize for blowing up but explain that your obviously pregnant and don't want second hand smoke and don't want your kid to get second either when he/she is here.

Oh this is my dream for sure! We're saving now, but don't know what city we're going to live in in just a few months. DH is applying all over the province to different jobs in his chosen field, and we're hopeful he gets placed somewhere around September. So until then, not only can we not shop for houses, but we can't get into another apartment either, cause then we'd have to sign another 1 year lease I have found a few places that don't ask for a one year lease, but there's been something wrong with each of these.

Just have to wait it out. I notice my bathroom is the only little room in my apartment that doesn't fill up with smoke for some reason. Sometimes I go in there an have baths when it gets bad. Otherwise, going for walks is my only option, but at 10:30 at night, it's annoying and dangerous unless DH is with me.

starinyte · June 2013

Clearly there are better ways to have dealt with this situation, but I can understand you losing it on them 100%. I probably would have been tempted, too.

They are polluting the quality of the air in your apartment. This, to me, is worse than if they were noise polluting.

Per the previous thread on this, I would recommend getting a note from your doctor documenting your adverse reaction to smoke and take it to your landlord. Having it in writing will make them much more likely to act in your favor.

Good luck! I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Cigarette smoke is terrible.

ravenclaw1 · June 2013

have you tried going to their apartment and talking to them about it calmly? they may not realize just how bad it is in your apartment.

shellyco · June 2013

Around here, most apartments are "non-smoking". In my limited apartment-living experience, most smokers either don't care about the rules or start out with good intentions by only smoking on their patio or in front of the building, but when the weather gets cold go ahead and smoke inside.

I would personally be afraid to so aggressively confront people who could lash back at you in the worst way- like destroying your property or harassing you, or just smoking even more hardcore to piss you off.

I hope you find a new place soon! The smell of smoke is seriously disgusting.

staceymack · June 2013

After dealing with that for so long that would push me over the edge too. Once I had to deal with a neighbor that played drums in the middle of the night. The houses were extremely close together and the room he played in was directly across from my bedroom. I had to get up at 430am for work and he'd play any hour of the night. Which was illegal in city limits. Anyway, no point in that story except to say I understand being stressed to the point of going bsc. Is it the best way to handle a situation? Absolutely not. Cigarette smoke is a huge annoyance to me too. I would hate to have to deal with that. I'm sorry you do.

CDMay2006 · June 2013

ravenclaw1:
have you tried going to their apartment and talking to them about it calmly? they may not realize just how bad it is in your apartment.

This. I'd apologize for the eruption and talk to them about the problem. And talk to management.

magdalina.h · June 2013

Alrighty then. ::backs away slowly::

OliveMom3 · June 2013

Yes, a little more tact would have probably gotten the results you're looking for more so than screaming like a hormonal pregnant woman. Though I can attest that the screaming part is quite cathartic.

Cleo421 · June 2013

Unfortunately, I would think speaking to management or showing them a docs note would only result in your being allowed to break your lease, and not in your neighbors right to smoke being revoked. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I would be looking for a new place ASAP as well. Good luck!

VCK · June 2013

Is it coming through windows or vents? Can you close your windows and turn on the air conditioning if this is the case? If coming through vents, perhaps you can invest in some sort of air purifier. Also, have you tried a civilized conversation about it at any point? I am married to a smoker and he smokes outside with the best of intentions not to bother anybody. Sometimes, he may not realize when the air is blowing in the direction of an open window. If I notice it, I point it out and he moves... Sometimes people don't know it is Coming in and, in that case, they might be more likely to adjust their habit to accommodate you.

JocelynB0911 · June 2013

VCK:
Is it coming through windows or vents? Can you close your windows and turn on the air conditioning if this is the case? If coming through vents, perhaps you can invest in some sort of air purifier. Also, have you tried a civilized conversation about it at any point? I am married to a smoker and he smokes outside with the best of intentions not to bother anybody. Sometimes, he may not realize when the air is blowing in the direction of an open window. If I notice it, I point it out and he moves... Sometimes people don't know it is Coming in and, in that case, they might be more likely to adjust their habit to accommodate you.

Think she said her purifier doesnt help and neither does closing up her home (windows, vents, etc). Correct me if I am wrong nukke but I thought thats whats you said in a previous thread.

If I were in your shoes I would try to find them and talk to them (again I think you said you couldnt say who it was for sure) or talk to management and have them go figure it out/help you. I can understand your frusturation with it all but I wouldnt have started yelling outside about it. Talk to management and see what they say.

VCK · June 2013

Side note:
A month or so ago, my hubs and I were walking in the parking lot towards BuyBuyBaby. He takes his cigarette out, but I say...

'You better go around the corner if you plan to do that here...these pregnant women will tear you a new one!'

Shanmarie1083 · June 2013

ravenclaw1:
have you tried going to their apartment and talking to them about it calmly? they may not realize just how bad it is in your apartment.

This. That should have been the first step. Now that you went off them they probably think you are crazycakes and won't even take you seriously. I would have my DH talk to them. He would probably be calmer and more rational about it then I would, and he can explain that his pregnant wife shouldn't be breathing in all this secondhand smoke.

You could go to management but unless you have a specific "non-smoking" apartment they are probably within their rights to smoke in their own apartment.

So sorry you are having to deal with this. I understand how frustrating that must be. Hopefully you will find at little resolution soon.

database6 · June 2013

You choose to live in an apartment, knowing that you would be in close quarters with other people. This is just one of those things that you have to deal with, especially if you cannot find a good way to talk to them about it. I seriously doubt losing your sh!t is going to help matters. I would def appologize and try to explain your POV to them.

Cleo421 · June 2013

anastasiacarmen:
auroraloo:
Nukke:
BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.
Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them.  Not breaking the rules either.
No, actually, you don't. Continue to scream obscenities at them and they will be within their rights to call the police for harassment and disturbing the peace.
They are also free to smoke in their back or front yard.  It is their property.  While you may not like that its true.  Many many people who smoke do not smoke in their homes and if they do they do not close the windows.  Smoking is legal.  Frankly, I think you are being very rude.  Could you have walked over and asked nicely for them to close the window or smoke inside, yes.  However, you decide to yell at them like a child.

People, lay off OP! Her post was titled I lost my !t. I think she's aware she didn't handle it in the best way possible. Sheesh!

Habs2Hart · June 2013

Oh Nukke, I am sorry. Everyone loses their sh** sometimes, but not everyone can reference the kook aid man. Best visual ever!

Have you talked to your landlord to make sure that the apartments actually ARE not smoking? Maybe they are breaking the rules. Also, I wouldn't give up the apartment hunt yet. Maybe you can find a sublet. I would put it up on fb and kijiji and see if you can find a month by month. Also talk to your local churches. Someone may have something. It is a great resource.

MegStark · June 2013

Wow - this post got out of control. IMO, she has the right to yell at them to shut it. I hate the smell of smoke. AND I hate the neighbor running a compressor for whatever reason in his garage at 4am.... so I once yelled too. Could he hear me over his noise? No. BUT it made me and my "irrational" pregnant self feel better.

MamaInMN · June 2013

This sounds frustrating! Coming from the POV of a former smoker of 11 years, I would be pretty frustrated too if I had specifically sought out an apartment I could smoke in (which I never did) and then was told/asked not to smoke in it.

That being said, I think most people are pretty rational and if they realize how much is getting into your apartment, they will be willing to adjust where/how they smoke so maybe it lessens everything for you. Maybe DH could talk to them?

Someone mentioned that air purifiers didn't work - did you try the stand alone ones? Something like this: https://www.amazon.com/Honeywell-HFD-120-Q-Purifier-Permanent-Filter/dp/B000ANEPYO/ref=sr_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1371218611&sr=8-6&keywords=air+purifier

(sorry it's not clicky!) Anyway, good for you for admitting you lost your cool - I hope this doesn't become a bigger issue for you!

Nukke · June 2013

Whew, so many posts to answer to. That's what I get for venting and running (to go to bed).

Thanks for the sympathy, comments and ideas ladies. To answer some of your questions;

1) I still don't know who it is. Screaming out my window did absolutely nothing to stop them anyway (though it felt AWESOME), so they were either oblivious to the fact that I was screaming at them (maybe they thought they were witnessing a domestic?), or they don't care. My guess is it's the latter. I would have totally gone up to their apartment and talked to them sweetly instead of my verbal dogsh!t, but I don't know who it is.

2) Talked to the landlord and it turns out smoking isn't allowed in the building, but there's nothing they can do.

3) We're no longer on a lease here (it was just a one year lease, and then it turned to month-to-month) so I can leave with 2 months notice anytime. Still looking for sublets, but no luck so far. Plus the earliest we could be out would be... Sept 1st. Though our landlords are actually really awesome, and I know they'd likely let me leave earlier given the circumstances--especially if I did have a doctor's note.

4) Air purifiers don't filter out tobacco smoke. Ohhh how I've tried! https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/air-purifier-smoke/AN02073

5) Closing the door to the cool (smoke filled) breezes, and turning on my air conditioner instead is unfortunately not a solution. I would bring more smoke into the apartment (acting like a fan, drawing the smoke in from the outdoors)

6) I also have the bad luck of getting smoke from my neighbour down the hall. I figured this out yesterday. She and her 3 kids moved in a few weeks ago, and the smoke gets into all the apartments around her. We've dealt with heavy smokers in that particular apartment before, so I'm used to figuring out tricks to keep it from entering mine. I've found that when she smokes, if I just put a rug against the bottom of my outer door, I can't smell it. But it's the neighbours who are chain smoking out their windows all day who bother me the most because there's no way I can avoid it. Closing my windows only slightly helps because of my air conditioner (I figure that's where it's getting in anyway). Even when it's not on, the smoke seeps in through that.

I'm going to hope that I can figure out who's doing it, so I can talk to them. Even if we get into a new place that we can sublet, there's no guarantee there won't be another smoker there (or some other problem). I do love my apartment...

Jesus they're smoking again. FML

Habs2Hart · June 2013

How can they not do anything if smoking isn't allowed? That seems crazy to me. People have no bloody respect at all. Oh, I'm not allowed to smoke in the appt. I'm going to anyway. People are brutal. It's this type of smoker (the one's who don't give two craps about those around them) that give all smokers a bad name. Some people actually care about others.

Is there another apartment further away from these two smoking apartments that is vacant and you might be able to switch to?

coraggiosa · June 2013

auroraloo:
Nukke:
auroraloo:
Nukke:
BubblyDevil:
Unless it's breaking the rules, they have every right to smoke in their own home.
Yep, and I have every right to scream out of my windows at them. Not breaking the rules either.
No, actually, you don't. Continue to scream obscenities at them and they will be within their rights to call the police for harassment and disturbing the peace.
They can bring it. I'll deny it, and I'll let the authorities know that it's not just tobacco they're smoking up their either.
They can also call for disorderly conduct. And if you want to deny it, you probably shouldn't post it on the internet.
Most cops aren't going to give a rat's butt about a little pot smoking unless it's stocked up in large amounts.
So you'll LIE to the police, because you think your rights are more important than someone else's? Peachy.
Also, up there. not their. I'm going to be kind and assume that was autocorrect.

*hijacks thread* Rora! I love your new siggy pic! Your LO is adorable!

Mmamax2 · June 2013

Habs2Hart:
Oh Nukke, I am sorry. nbsp;Everyone loses their sh sometimes, but not everyone can reference the kook aid man. nbsp;Best visual ever!nbsp;Have you talked to your landlord to make sure that the apartments actually ARE not smoking? nbsp;Maybe they are breaking the rules. nbsp;Also, I wouldn't give up the apartment hunt yet. Maybe you can find a sublet. I would put it up on fb and kijiji and see if you can find a month by month. nbsp;Also talk to your local churches. Someone may have something. It is a great resource. nbsp;

This! Because so many places have become non smoking and most apartment buildings do not allow smoking on the inside just do some research with the rental agreements you have

BabyCampbell312 · June 2013

Cleo421:
Unfortunately, I would think speaking to management or showing them a docs note would only result in your being allowed to break your lease, and not in your neighbors right to smoke being revoked. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I would be looking for a new place ASAP as well. Good luck!

In California, and I am sure most other places, if you are renting, you have rights. You have the right to live in a safe place and yada yada yada. I'm pretty sure you could eventually get out of your lease.

starinyte · June 2013

Nukke, I'm still just really sorry about this. Such a frustrating situation! I am glad that you reported it to your landlord but it stinks that they won't enforce their own rules.

Sucks when people who consider themselves above the rules ruin a good situation (since it sounds like you like your apartment). Ugh. Why can't people just have a little consideration for others?

littlemissblondiex · June 2013

Just because it is an apartment doesn't mean smoking is allowed. My apartment is a non-smoking facility and the people downstairs smoke. I spoke to management and they talked to them. Smoking is disgusting in my opinion and if you want to smoke, please avoid being around people who don't like it. If the smoke is bad enough that it's filling your apartment I'd be a crazy pregnant lady too. Smoke doesn't only make it hard to breathe and dangerous for baby but it also sticks to your clothing and hair and everything else possible. I also think that most people who side with the smokers are probably smokers themselves... but that's just my opinion.

littlemissblondiex · June 2013

Also, I think chain smoking is disturbing. It's unattractive and not healthy. Yuck!

shawnnbecky · June 2013

luminousbluestar:
I say more power to you! It may be within their rights to smoke but they are exposing you to illness and in the future if you have an infant around that much smoke it increases their chance of SIDS. If you need to yell in order to shame them to be more respectful of their neighbors then I guess that's what you have to do. I can't believe the other responses on here. Are you seriously going to fault her for being an advocate for herself and her unborn child? Ridiculous.

THIS! You go, girl! They might have he "right" to smoke in their own home but you have the right to not have to smell that ***! Good luck!

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