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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Lisadi
member
Confession- bribed DS with soda
Lisadi
member
Yesterday I was outside with DS and it was getting past lunch time. He was having fun, but I was getting hot and preferred to make and eat lunch inside. I asked him if he was interested in xyz for lunch. He said yes. I told him we should go inside to eat. Whining and "no's" followed. I tried mentioning different toys he could play with inside during lunch. No go. Short on ideas I blurted out that he could taste daddy's soda (a forbidden fruit). He dropped his outside toy and marched inside. Once inside I tried to distract him, but he was hell-bent then on the soda. I poured some in a 3 oz. plastic dixie cup that I'm using for when he drinks without a sippy- maybe 1 - 1.5 oz. He tasted, but did not drink. I tossed the rest.
So, I know bribing's not great. It's not my preferred method, but it got him inside to eat lunch and nap. The alternative would have been to just pick him up and deal with the crying. I've had to do that on occasion, when leaving the park for example, but I hate to do that.
I know that I need to read up on more toddler parenting books- maybe even a super nanny one. My toddler's pretty well behaved, but like my development books say, the 2nd 6 months for 2 year olds is filled with a lot of negativity. It was seemingly overnight. I guess I've been so spoiled with his agreeableness, that I don't feel quite prepared for this.
I told DH this, and he reamed me this morning. He went on to say how soda can lead to childhold obesity, etc. Mind you, he drinks a soda for breakfast and another before dinner. He willingly feeds DS ice cream, frequently.
DS was still nursing until recently, is served water with meals and to drink. On occasion he has had the apple juice that is half juice, half water in the 3 oz. dixie cup for practice. He does o.k. eating veggies- all food groups really.
So, yeah, not the greatest. But, really, is this ream-worthy?
For anyone else who has occasionally bribed, here are some commiserating articles:
- https://www.parents.com/blogs/fearless-feisty-mama/tag/bribing-toddler/
- https://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2013/01/15/bribing_your_kids_the_experts_say_not_to_do_it_but_is_there_another_way.html
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Re: Confession- bribed DS with soda
I bribe with TV.
Soda is on our "oh He11 No!" list but that's a personal choice.
A sip of soda isn't really ream-worthy, but I try to avoid bribing at all costs. You made things easier for yourself in the moment by getting him to come in quickly, but you may pay for it later. Imo, bribing sets up a bad precedent, and can lead the kid to think that he'll get soda (or whatever) anytime he resists you. He'll just resist more, while the bribes get bigger and more often to get him to comply. At that point, you've completely lost control.
This. And not judging but a warning: My sister did this with her 2 year old, and now her two year old will only drink pop or juice and she will scream until she gets it.
Well I hope you'll learn your lesson when he wakes up obese tomorrow!! lol
ETA: Giving choices has helped us a lot as well. Most days I ask DS if he wants to take a nap now or in 10 minutes. Of course he says 10 minutes, so I set a timer, and when it goes off it's naptime and he's usually ok with that. in your example, if your DS is young enough to find it funny, you could ask him if you two should hop inside like kangaroos or march inside like soldiers etc.
DD (5 years old) from IUI in 2012
TTC 3rd and final!: IUI #1 in progress!
No. Soda is not something that he has had before. DH and I had never really had the discussion before. Usually DH agrees with my food choices, and that includes no soda. I'm usually pretty strict- no suckers, did muffins for 1st b-day vs. smash cake, and put off ice cream for the longest time. I don't drink it, and I don't plan on serving it to him.
juliane200... - Wow! Thanks for the warning. I've already planned if he asks again to say, "That's daddy's soda. We have to save it for him.", or cop out and blame the doctor like I usually do. :-) Usually if I repeat certain mantras over again he gets used to it.
AimeeL85 - Thanks, I like the fun choices there! I've used walk vs. run etc. It worked like a charm before bedtime to get him through the gate back to the bedrooms. Outside time, which he loves, brings on a certain stubbornness that I'm just not used to yet. I'll have to start trying the timer. Sometimes the transition warnings don't quite have the same effect that that might.
Sigh. So much for pregnancy fog. I found later that night the coconut popsicles in the freezer that he loves that would have been a certain hit.
I think there are always times we bend our rules, and do what us not the norm for us and truly believe it's ok. Just remember You are a GREAT mom. And we are learning along with LO's. Some days we just need to give ourselves a break. :
This
The soda itself wouldn't really be the big deal for me (though DD doesn't get soda, so I wouldn't like it), but the bribing is what I would take issue with. DD never wants to come inside either, we do choices and that helps a lot.